-- Meditations. iv. 36., Marcus Aurelius
"You were displeased with me when I refused Mrs. Langley’s request that I assist at the Baconfield sanitarium." Sicily blushed, feeling as if she had perhaps overstepped her boundaries on that day when she had suggested that her cousin was not behaving as he should. Dr. Fairmont held up his hand, seeing that she was about to apologize. "I know why you were displeased. And I have not told you why I made such a quick decision. My reasons were personal and they are the same reasons that I am also drawn to accept Mrs. Langley’s offer." Dr. Fairmont paused, not wishing to confess anything to his cousin when he as of yet had said nothing to Mrs. Langley.
"You don’t owe me an explanation," Sicily urged sincerely. "I do owe you a share in my decision, however. You are of age and I will not treat you as a child in my guardianship. Where we live and what I do effects your welfare and happiness as much as it does mine." Dr. Fairmont spoke quickly, as if he had planned this speech earlier. There was a pause in their conversation of some length, where Dr. Fairmont did not meet his cousin’s gaze, but stared concentrating on the empty plate in front of him.
"Are you asking me which I would prefer? Brighton or Baconfield?" Sicily asked quietly. Dr. Fairmont seemed somewhat relieved that she ascertained his meaning and nodded an affirmative, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Sicily brushed at the table cloth with her slender fingers. "I was not raised in Brighton, so I have no ties of youth to the place. It would be as easy for me to start anew in Baconfield as it was for me to come to Brighton." Dr. Fairmont touched his chin thoughtfully. "You are well suited for making friends, dearest cousin," he began. "But I am not convinced it would be fair to force you to do so yet again or even in your best interest. You enjoy a varied social life here with many young friends. Baconfield will not afford that much entertainment. Our lives would be more retired there."
Dr. Fairmont’s serving girl entered the room and he motioned that she could clear their plates. Sicily waited for her to leave the room before answering her cousin. "My life is lively enough, yes, but I have no very dear friends that I would be leaving behind, and I have no…" Sicily meant to say sweetheart, but could not manage to say it plainly. Dr. Fairmont was well enough attuned to his cousin that he understood her meaning, however. "Mrs. Langley would be compensation enough for the friends I leave behind, and the Munson girls are all very pleasant." Sicily waited in vain for a response from her cousin, who had become more inwardly agitated when he perceived that his cousin was still not adverse to moving to Baconfield.
"I am not comfortable making such a decision for us," Sicily said after some minutes had passed. "I may be of age, but I still trust in your judgment," she continued warmly. This is what Dr. Fairmont had feared. He had hoped that she would urge him to move, and he had also feared that would be her recommendation. By placing the decision back in his hands, he knew he could do nothing but follow his heart and write to Mrs. Langley, asking if the position at the sanitarium was still open.
***
Mrs. Langley read Dr. Fairmont’s latest letter with great anxiety. What she had proposed some months ago now seemed a dangerous scheme, since Dr. Ploughman’s insinuations. Since she had made the ingenuous offer ignorant of any rumors that might arise from their relationship, it seemed unfair to discourage Dr. Fairmont from coming now. Should she have to give the reason for her disquiet on the subject, she would be humiliated at bringing up a suggestion that she felt beneath both herself and Dr. Fairmont, who had never looked on her as anything but family.
She was torn between encouraging Dr. Fairmont and Miss Fairmont to remove to Baconfield and discouraging the notion. She could not be dishonest and tell him the position was filled, but the alternative of telling the truth did not appeal any better. The thought of having to face Dr. Ploughman when Dr. Fairmont’s intentions were made known to him was daunting to say the least.
However, despite the drawbacks of having Dr. Fairmont in the neighborhood, Mrs. Langley still longed very much to have him near at hand. The only feasible way she saw to have Dr. Fairmont near and to stem Dr. Ploughman’s suspicions was to go speak with Dr. Ploughman directly and tell him of the mistake he had made, herself suspecting that Dr. Fairmont intended to marry his cousin. She disliked spreading tales about Dr. Fairmont and Miss Fairfield, but believing it to be true, self preservation urged her to do so.
-- Rousseau and the Sentimentalists, James Russell Lowell
"Andrew, dear?" Julia called. Andrew failed to answer, but entered the room wearing a stern expression. "You never cease to amaze me," he said staring at his sister and shifting his weight from one leg to another. Emily had said nothing of Dr. Fairmont’s plans, pretending that it did not concern them, but she knew instinctively that the news had somehow reached her brother. "Tell your cousin…" he said stammering.
"Andrew you’re being very dramatic," Julia said, hating to see a scene develop between her husband and her cousin. "Why don’t you have a seat and we can speak like civilized human beings," she continued. Andrew brushed off his tails. "I’m covered in dirt from riding." "Pull up the stool," Julia said in soothing tones, pointing to the wooden stool by the small harpsichord Sir Graham had given them as a wedding gift. Andrew obediently followed his wife’s instructions and his breathing slowed as he did so.
"Now then," Julia said as he sat. "I was out riding and seeing to some things. I decided to go over to Mr. Langley’s estate and speak to your caretaker to make sure things were straight away there. I couldn’t find him for some time. Can you think where I found him? At this time of year with all the work that needs to be done?" "I’ve asked him to see to the fitting out of one of the cottages," Emily replied calmly. "Yes, I found him at the cottage with two other men." "It was not livable as it was. Mr. Smith assured me the improvements would be completed quickly enough. I dare say he isn’t put behind by it."
Andrew wiped his brow. "I can’t see how a man could live off a woman like that." Julia had been nervously watching the exchange that seemed very strange to her. Her husband was often vexed by his sister’s behavior, but never before had he taken such a keen and critical view of the way her estate was run. "That won’t be the case, I assure you. You needn’t look into my situation with tenants. I am perfectly in control of the situation." As Emily spoke, she grew taller in her chair, which Julia observed with some level of admiration. She could tease Andrew, but to be so stubborn and strong willed was something she would never attempt, assuming that he would find it rather unattractive.
Andrew wiped at his brow once more, this time pulling out a handkerchief to do so, and sighing before looking up at his sister. "If he is to be a tenant, I am amazed he should feel so comfortable in being so under you. I am amazed you are so comfortable with it." "I shall have to ask you not to speak of Dr. Fairmont in such a high handed way, Andrew." At hearing the mystery man’s name, Julia’s mouth opened for one moment, before she quickly shut it.
"The entire neighborhood will be talking of it, but I suppose that means nothing to you." "I don’t see why they should. There is nothing untoward in the situation. Dr. Fairmont will be assisting at the sanitarium, largely taking over for Dr. Ploughman, and he and Miss Fairmont must have a proper place to live." "On your property?" Andrew asked, shaking his head, amazed at the continuing naiveté of his sister. "The sanitarium cannot afford to pay for the level of expertise Dr. Fairmont will be bringing with him. I am a large contributor, and seeing as I could more easily afford to give the cottage closest to the sanitarium than taking a house yearly, this seemed the best plan. Dr. Fairmont will be giving up a good deal to come to Baconfield, and we owe it to him to provide him with some recompense." Andrew started up and strode from the room, only pausing to lean on the frame of the door. "Giving up a good deal, indeed."
The women sat in silence for some minutes, Emily staring out the window and Julia listening to Andrew crash around upstairs. Finally Emily broke the silence, speaking quietly. "I am sorry that I had not said anything about the coming arrangement between Dr. Fairmont and myself. I consider it business, and did not wish to say anything to Andrew, but I can see that it has only caused another scene to which I wish you did not have to be subjected. I have probably ruined your husband’s mood for days." Julia swallowed, agreeing inwardly with her cousin’s surmise. "You had not told me, but you might tell me all now. We are cousins and now sisters. I should hope that you would feel comfortable entrusting me with your plans, even if Andrew is now my husband."
Emily had thought Julia somewhat altered since her engagement to Andrew, but Julia’s words made Emily feel rather ashamed of those feelings. Julia continued slowly: "I cannot in good conscious keep secrets from Andrew, but I don’t think you were keeping this a secret, were you? Perhaps coming from me or even yourself…the news would have been taken better." Emily smiled weakly. "I can now see that marriage has made you as wise as it has made me wary. What a funny thing it can be that one woman would turn out so well from it and one so…well, I would have never been so afraid to tell all a few years ago. But you have asked for my confidence, and I shall give it to you openly."
The crashing above had seemingly come to an end, and Julia picked up her sewing once more, looking up at her cousin and supplying small comments every few minutes to assure her of her attention. "I asked Dr. Fairmont to assist us at the sanitarium some months ago and he refused. He has Miss Fairmont’s happiness to consider as much as his own, and I believe that he worries that she will be unhappy in such limited company after going away to school and living such a cheerful life in Brighton." "Surely." "He was, however, impressed with the modern way in which we have the sanitarium set up. Dr. Ploughman is not the man for such a task, as he will attest--which Dr. Fairmont clearly saw. There is a great deal of good in Dr. Fairmont, and I know the thought of working such good has changed his mind these few months since I first requested his aid. Miss Fairmont is so pleasant and eager to please her cousin that I am sure she put all his reservations to rest." "She is decidedly sweet," Julia nodded.
"When he agreed to come, he asked for a list of whom he could write to about taking a home close to the sanitarium. He will see a large diminishment in his earnings coming here from Brighton. His patients there are rich and multitudinous. Here they shall be poor, and those of us who help fund the place cannot afford to pay him much at the expense of the quality of the care itself. He does not complain on this point." "No, of course not."
Emily had worked through the logic of the following point so many times that she had to pause to make sure that the words did not tumble forth belying their overworked mental status. "He could not have afforded for long an appropriate home for Miss Fairmont, and this caused me much distress. She is a very genteel sort of young lady, and I know he would be distressed at seeing her brought low in any way. It was within my power to bestow upon the sanitarium a cottage that was once the former parson’s abode, before the new one came with his large family. It is on the corner of my estate and within easy walking distance of the sanitarium. It shall be his and should he ever leave us, it shall be the next doctor’s." "That is very kind of you," Julia said with a sweet smile.
Emily fussed with her skirts. "You may tell Andrew one thing more, for it is true. I did all of this thinking it best, but I also did it so I might more easily enjoy the company of Dr. and Miss Fairmont. They are very pleasing to me. They shall not have the benefit of a carriage, but Miss Fairmont will be in such easy walking distance of me that we might spend nearly every day together, hopefully removing some of the unpleasantness that might otherwise be attached to her removal here. So, yes, there are personal reasons for this decision, I own it." "Women are allowed to make decisions with their hearts, whereas men are not afforded the luxury. I understand, cousin, even if Andrew does not."
-- Modern Painters. Vol. iv. Part v. Chap. xxii., John Ruskin
Mrs. Langley had informed Dr. Fairmont that the sanitarium had decided on giving the assisting doctor a house that was within an easy walking distance for as long as he should wish to stay, but she had not mentioned that it was her gift, nor that it was on her estate. That became clear to him as they drove up, seeing about him everywhere the estate where he had spent so much time as a young boy and also observing the improvements Mrs. Langley had clearly been busy achieving in the area. He clenched his jaw as he gazed out of the window and became noticeably quiet, his cousin observed. In this mood, he was almost tempted to send word to Mrs. Langley that they would not be joining her that evening. Two very separate emotions pulled within his chest.
Sicily pulled at the ribbons securing her bonnet as she read through the letter aloud. "Oh, only think, a few hours and we shall be with dear Mrs. Langley," she said cheerfully after having finished reading the epistle. "You wish particularly to go?" Dr. Fairmont asked, speaking for the first time since his discovery. Sicily was taken aback by the question. "Why yes, of course. Settling in shall be a pleasure for me. Putting things in a new fresh place. I shan’t be too tired, if that’s what you presume." Dr. Fairmont saw there was to be no way around the invitation.
Mrs. Langley had told them to come early, so that they might have more time together and retire early, if indeed they were very worn from travel. Dr. Fairmont had been sitting in what was to be his office with his boots on the desk in front of him slouched back in his chair, when his cousin had entered and exclaimed at his lack of progress. "You haven’t opened one box! And I have nearly finished with my trunks and was hoping we could walk to Mrs. Langley’s now." Dr. Fairmont dragged his feet from the desk. "I didn’t feel much like it." "No, of course not. You’re sitting in here with the windows closed up nearly in the dark after a close ride from Brighton. It is no wonder." Sicily walked to the window as she spoke, throwing open the sash. "There, is that not better?" "Yes, it is. But, I don’t guess you would like waiting much longer to see Mrs. Langley?" Sicily was back at his side and she placed her delicate hand on his shoulder. "I should like to leave now. I have dressed," she urged. "Well, let me dress as well then. I suppose it wouldn’t do to show up covered in dirt from travel," he said, as he slowly peeled himself out of his chair.
Emily had been waiting for her guests since late afternoon on the lawn in front of her house. She was playing with her lap dog, but watching the path leading to what had been the parson’s cottage closely as she did so. She was rewarded after some time as she saw them approaching arm in arm. Picking up the dog, she hurried towards them. "How do you do?" she called out to them, while they were still some distance away. Miss Fairmont waved back in answer and Dr. Fairmont tipped his hat. The three came together, and Mrs. Langley quickly kissed Miss Fairmont’s cheeks, complimenting her on her healthy appearance. "I was told you arrived safely. I had half a mind to ignore my own promise to keep away, I must own, and run down to check on you." She spoke quickly and her face was flushed. Dr. Fairmont was unhappy, but seeing her again was warming his heart to his fate.
"Are you too tired to walk, or shall we take a turn? The greenhouses are simply brimming. Dinner isn’t ready, so we shall either sit or walk." "Oh, we’ve been inside all day," Sicily answered brightly. Dr. Fairmont nodded. The dog was beginning to squirm, and Miss Fairmont put out her arms. "May I?" "Oh, certainly," Mrs. Langley said, transferring the white mass into Sicily’s arms. "Straight ahead there and to your left is where we’re heading. It isn’t far." Miss Fairmont headed in the direction of Mrs. Langley’s instructions, speaking to the dog in a diminutive voice.
Dr. Fairmont offered his arm to Mrs. Langley, and blushing even brighter than her flushed cheeks should have allowed, she accepted, following behind the quickly moving Miss Fairmont. "You forget that I know my way around this estate as well as you do. Perhaps even better, for I have the benefit of having viewed the entire place with a boy’s explorative bent." Dr. Fairmont’s tone was somewhat dark, and Mrs. Langley knew not how to respond. She had perhaps forgotten how closely tied Dr. Fairmont was to this place. "How is it to be back then?" she asked mildly. "I did not expect to be lodged on my uncle’s estate," he answered flatly. Not wishing to think of her husband at this moment, Emily misunderstood Dr. Fairmont’s meaning and corrected her guest. "My estate." "Even worse."
Emily was embarrassed and attempted to pull her arm from Dr. Fairmont’s hold, but despite his dark tone and forbearing looks, he would not let her go. She glanced in the direction of Miss Fairmont, who had just reached the greenhouse and was pulling open the door while struggling with the small dog still in her arms. She did not want Miss Fairmont to hear any disagreeable words between herself and Dr. Fairmont.
"It should have been your estate, sir. Don’t think that I meant anything by that comment," she boldly replied, while giving up the fight for her arm, which seemed fruitless. "I have told you that it is yours and rightfully so, but I have no wish to receive anything from you…well, not this at least." Dr. Fairmont tried to soften his tone: he had not known how to broach the subject, and he knew that he was doing a poor job of it. "It is not from me, it is from the sanatorium. I have given it as a gift to the sanatorium. I thought of you, but…" Dr. Fairmont lost his will to protest, even though his manly pride still felt troubled. Imagining that Mrs. Langley had thought of him was enough to soothe him. Mrs. Langley read the look of calm coming over Dr. Fairmont’s face and relaxed somewhat. "It is only not quite good enough," she finished. Dr. Fairmont pressed her hand. "It is more than good enough."
They began their approach to the greenhouse once more. "It was the former parson’s," Mrs. Langley said quietly. "I know." "Oh, yes, of course. To think that you were here, and, well…it is peculiar." "Yes, and we were so close to knowing each other, but I’d already become the disobedient and unthankful young man you now see before you by the time you entered the neighborhood," he answered lightly. "And I a child." "Yes," Dr. Fairmont said, gazing down on his companion, who, feeling the weight of his stare, turned to look back at the house. "Perhaps dinner will be ready and we ought to call Miss Fairmont to join us in heading back that way." "I will fetch her," he said, finally relinquishing her arm and entering the greenhouse after his cousin.
