| 3-14 ACTING OUT Written by: Sue and Daniel Paige Directed by: Michael Engler A. FIRST AUDITION SCENE A.J. is onstage, giving a truly awful, hammy performance. “The last scene of all that is this…” Grace turns around in her seat to give Cynthia an oh-God-could-he-be-any-worse? look. “…sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste--sans everything!” A.J. collapses dramatically to the floor in a heap. Mr. Dimitri sits in the front row with one foot on a table. “Thank you, A.J., that was very nice,” he says politely, with a hint of amusement. A.J. sits up. “I can do some other—“. Mr. Dimitri interrupts. “Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I think your…first instinct was, was very compelling. Who’s next?”, he asks Alexa, who is sitting 3 seats away. “Uh, Grace Manning,” Alexa calls out. Grace gets up from her seat. “I know her!”, Dimitri exclaims, standing up. Grace says “Hi.” Dimitri says “Hi-iy!” back. Dimitri smiles as Grace begins to climb up the stage’s steps. “Did you prepare something?”, he asks. “No, you said we shouldn’t,” Grace answers. “Oh, so, you didn’t memorize Rosalinde’s epilogue?”. Dimitri motions. “Well, I read it a few times. Is that a crime?”, Grace teases back. “In some countries, it is.” Mr. Dimitri turns around to pick up a script. “My errand is to you, fair youth. My gently Phoebe did bid me give you this” he says, handing the script up to Grace. “Act 4, Scene 3. Pardon me. I am but a guiltless messenger.” Dimitri walks backward and then turns his back to the stage. Grace starts. “Uh, patience herself would startle at this letter and play the swaggerer. Bear this, bear all—“. Dimitri picks up a playbook, looks at the students, then turns around. Grace is still talking. “—she says I am not fair, that I lack manners. She calls me proud, and that she could not love me were man as rare as phoenix. Odds my will—“. Dimitri listens, not smiling, then pushes his hair back from his face. He puts his fingers under his chin. “—her love is not the hare that I do hunt. Why…(?)…to me? Well, shepherd, well, this is a letter of your own device.” Grace brandishes the script. Dimitri answers back from memory “No, no, I protest. I know not the contents.” He points. “Phoebe did write it.” (He is quite naturally good.) Grace smiles and shakes her head. “Come, come. You are a fool, and turned into the extremity of love.—“ Dimitri grins and takes a few steps forward. “—I saw her hand. She has a leather in hand—“ Dimitri stands with his hands clasped behind his back. “—a three-stoned colored hand. I verily(?) to think—“ Dimitri looks down. “—that her own gloves were on, which was her hand. She has a housewife’s hands—“ Dimitri interrupts. “Fun. Fun. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you everybody for uh, indulging me.” “Mr. Dimitri?”, Alexa pipes. Mr. Dimitri puts his right hand on his thermos and his left hand on his hip. “Ye-es, Alexa?”, he says in a slightly irritated tone. “There’s one more person. She signed up late,” Alexa says. “Swell. Where is she?” “Uh, Jessie Sammler, for the role of Phoebe.” Grace smiles at Cynthia as she sits down. Her smile changes slightly when she hears her step-sister’s name. She looks back to see Jessie walking down the aisle to the stage. Jessie reads, “He’ll make a proper man. The best thing in him is his complexion. And faster than his tongue does make offense his eyes…” A.J. sneaks over to Grace and taps her on the shoulder. “So this is your half-sister, right?” “Step-sister,” Grace answers. “Right,” he says. (Jessie continues reading but she’s not as good as Grace.) “You’re going to get Rosalinde, “ A.J. assures Grace. “You think?” “Well, it’s between you and Cynthia,” he says, looking back and forth at both of them. Mr. Dimitri looks over. Grace realizes they’re talking too loudly and mouths “Sorry.” Mr. Dimitri interrupts Jessie. “Good, good, thank you. Is that it, Alexa?” “Yes,” she answers. “Great. Okay, nobody leave.” He holds up a hand. “Stay right there,” he instructs Jessie. Dimitri looks through some papers. “Okay, this is what…I’m thinking. Here’s my idea. In addition to all the songs already in this wonderful play, I would like to put in some…folk music. Yep, the music of weird old America. How great is that?” He grins widely. The students laugh uncertainly. “Well, trust me, it’s at least really, really good.” He turns and walks to the stage, handing out sheets of music to Jessie. “Hope you like this.” A.J. speaks up, “Mr. Dimitri?” “Yes?” “No one told us we would have to sing,” A.J. complains. “I know, “ Dimitri answers, “I’m telling you now.” Grace asks incredulously, “Do we have to sing today? Like right now?” “Yes,” Mr. Dimitri answers, handing out music to each row. “We will work our way backwards through the order. You’re first,“ he motions to Jessie, still onstage. “You want me to sing?”, Jessie asks. “Yes, I do, “ says Mr. Dimitri, clapping his hands together. “I, uh, don’t think I know any of these,” says Jessie, thumbing through the papers. Grace, A.J., and Cynthia look at each other unbelievingly. “Well, sing anything, “ Mr. Dimitri beckons. Jessie stops at a sheet. “Oh, actually, I guess I, I kind of know this one from camp.” “Perfect," Mr. Dimitri assures her. "Well, just sing a little bit, whatever you’re comfortable with.” Jessie starts, her voice melodic. “The water is wide, and I can’t cross over.—“ Dimitri sits, leans over the desk to pick up his clipboard. “—And neither have I wings to fly. Give me a boat—“ Dimitri leans far back in his seat, then sits forward, smiling, to listen better. He puts his hand over his mouth, impressed. “—that can tarry to, and both shall row—“ Grace watches, not smiling, not frowning. “—my love and I.” Jessie ends and looks to Mr. Dimitri. His mouth is open and he gasps and lifts up his hands. “I love this. I love it!” Jessie smiles, tickled by his approval. Grace turns form Cynthia, obviously having said something to her. Cynthia raises her hand. “Mr. Dimitri?” “Yes, Cynthia?” He knows what’s coming, and stands. “I really have to say I think this is totally unfair—“ Grace shakes her head in agreement. “—that we have to do this like this?” Mr. Dimitri turns toward her. “How would you like to do it? “Um—“, Cynthia starts. Grace interrupts her. “Well, we should be given time to practice,” Grace demands. “Because it’s a little strange to assume that people would be comfortable, just singing, like that.” Grace motions toward the stage where Jessie is. Mr. Dimitri raises his head for a moment to take this in. “Obviously you feel strongly about this?”, he asks. Grace huffs, “Huh, well, I think we all do.” She looks around. Others nod their heads. “That true?”, Mr. Dimitri questions. “Yeah,” Cynthia quietly answers. “Fair enough. Okay, I’m not a complete sadist yet. Those of you who get called back will be required to sing one of these songs. If you don’t get called back, you should learn these songs regardless, for your own enrichment, if nothing else.” |
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