For those of us who are too chicken to dump him maturely, here are my favourite ways:
1- The Typical Speech:
This involves using the “it’s not you it’s me” format. My fav. version, is the “I am just to busy right now...and that’s just not fair for you. You deserve someone better...no, no, no, I won’t be that selfish- I must let you go.” And for the stalkers, you might want to throw in “I want to be friends, but, I fear it will just hurt you more in the long run.”
2- The “We Make Better Friends” speech:
This involves using the above statement. I recommend using this technic on those who may suffer from separation disorder. This way they are reassured that they are not losing you altogether. Then you can either make plans to be cancelled at a later date on a machine, or tell him you’ll call him and then when he calls you anyway- ignore them.
3- The Avoidance Breakup:
This works best for those who have not officially committed themselves to titles yet (girlfriend, fiancé etc). This is also the simplest and least time consuming. Just avoid, avoid, avoid. Eventually they have take the hint. If they don’t and they just get mad, see below.
4- The Avoidance/Anger Breakup:
After avoiding their calls and them for a substantial amount of time, and when you are sure they are good and mad (and if they are suddenly pretending their not mad, have no fear- this will still work)blame the breakup on them. Tell them you don’t appreciate that they obviously don’t understand how busy you are. Then you can get off the phone by saying either 1) “I guess it’s over, goodbye” or 2) “ when work slows down I’ll call you” and this way allows you the opportunity to call an re-unit on your occasional “night off”.
5-The Fight:
This is the one I recommend most. This work best if you have been dating long enough that the avoidance won’t work. This begins by talking and listening. The key here is that your conversation must eventually progress to a full argument. That way you can dump him in a rage and storm off. Begin a political or religious discussion. Take the opposite view. Whether you agree or not is not the point. Appear as if to be getting more and more upset. This is just the first step in getting you upset enough to dump him and then leave before he has the chance to calm you down. Then avoid.
