| No More Denying… Part 1 The Party Disclaimer: Paramount own Star Trek, but I just wanted to borrow the characters for a while. Rating R Authors note: This is my first attempt at fanfic and all feedback is welcome, but be kind, no flames! This is set two years after Voyager gets back to the Alpha Quadrant. “Are you out of that bath yet Kath?” “Not yet!” “The amount of time that you spend in that bath! Don’t forget we have to leave in forty-five minutes…” “I’ll be ready darling, don’t worry.” Kathryn smiled as she slipped lower into the bath, just another five minutes. Her mind recalled just how much ribbing Chakotay had given her over her bathing habits. She contemplated saying it aloud, but changed her mind. Lately Mark hadn’t seemed interested in her reminiscing. Ironic, when you consider where we’re going tonight she mused. Had it really been two years since they had arrived back? Two years ago today since Voyager had travelled through the experimental artificial wormhole created by Starfleet. Kathryn still had difficulty believing it; She could still remember the sense of hope that she and the whole crew had felt when Starfleet had explained the procedure and supplied the co-ordinates for the miracle that would return them home. They were going home to Earth. After so many false hopes it seemed incredible that it would work. But it had, reuniting the crew of The USS Voyager with their families and loved ones, which, thanks to Mr Barclay and the Pathfinder project, they had been able to keep in contact with for the last eight months of their voyage. During those months mail call had become a regular fixture, one that all the crew had looked forward to. Especially Kathryn, after Mark’s message her telling her that his marriage was over, that he still loved her and hoped to see her when she got back. The first few months on Earth were occupied with debriefings. Starfleet headquarters had decisions to make regarding the Maquis. Kathryn had been pleased when they were allowed to retain the positions they had worked so hard for. But it had saddened her greatly when she heard the news that Chakotay no longer wanted to be a part of Starfleet, choosing instead to follow his love for archaeology. Kathryn realised thoughts of Chakotay made her feel sad. They had been such good friends, yet since returning they had hardly spoken. It seemed that although she had achieved what she always wanted, she’d got her crew home and Mark back in her life, something still… “Kath, if you’re not out of that tub, I’m coming in there to pull you out!” “You wouldn’t dare!” “Try me!” She laughed. “Mark honey, could you pass me my towel, I think I left it on the bed?” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ “See, I told you we’d be late.” “I always like to make an entrance Mark…Thought you knew that?” She turned looking up at him and winked, before looking around the room. “Oo, they’re all here! Sorry, darling…” He heard the questioning tilt in her voice. “It’s okay, you go and catch up and I’ll get us a couple of drinks.” He watched as she walked away admiring the view. She was wearing a dress he’d never seen before, cream with no sleeves and a low cut back. Mark smiled as he realised how little she was wearing underneath and couldn’t wait until later when they would be on their own, he tried to control his thoughts before he got carried away and embarrassed both Kathryn and himself. Mark recalled Kathryn telling him that the simulation was based upon a place in France that Tom Paris used to frequent. He looked around the room; he never could understand what the attraction of the place was. Sandrine’s was crowded. It had been Tom’s idea last year to have a celebratory party on Voyager using Sandrine’s as the theme. This year he was hoping to finally beat Kathryn on the pool table and had been quietly running bets on such an outcome all week. “Captain, I hope I will get the pleasure of your company on the pool table this evening?” Kathryn rolled her eyes “Are you feeling confident this evening Tom?” “Let’s just say that I’m confident of a win tonight.” “Tom are you running one of your gambling pools again?” Paris opened his eyes wider, feigning innocence “Would I Captain?” “Well, be warned Tom….I take no prisoners….” She moved closer to him and whispered… “And I’ll place a weeks worth of holodeck privileges on the captain!” They both smiled. “You’re on captain!” At that moment B’Elanna approached them “What are you two up to?” “Nothing my love” Kathryn moved away. There was no need to stand and watch Tom grovelling, at least not tonight! Tom and B’Elanna were the only two senior officers to stay with Voyager. Tuvok had gone back to teaching at the academy. Harry had at last got the promotion that he had been waiting eight years for, stationed upon the recently appointed USS Explorer. He was working with Seven, who was now a technical advisor, bringing transwarp technology to Starfleet. Imagine, Starfleet using Borg technology! Just one more thing that had changed since their homecoming. She nodded to a few of the crew. Her eyes searched the crowd, her mind wondered whether he would be here tonight. Then she saw him. She watched as he spoke to another crewmember. Everything about him was familiar to her, the way he gestured, his tattoo, that smile of his that could melt her…Gods he was handsome, standing tall, dressed in a beige shirt and brown trousers, the colours complemented the warmth of his skin tones. She watched as he brought the glass to his lips, so full and soft she wondered just what they would feel like against hers, brushing against…*.No Kathryn!*…She shook her head trying to compose herself. He could feel someone looking at him and turned. She stood a short distance from him. Their eyes locked as a smile crossed her lips. He caught his breath, even after all this time she could still turn him to jelly. He let his eyes wonder over her, noting that the hem of her dress allowed him an excellent view of her legs. She was still beautiful. Kathryn’s breathing quickened as his eyes moved over her, struggling to control it as he made his way over, giving her one of those smiles. “Hello Kathryn” “Hello Chakotay,” She smiled at him, that old twinkle coming back into her eyes. “So tell me, do you approve of my dress?” Chakotay let out a chuckle. “Still the same Kathryn eh? You don’t miss a thing!” She smiled back at him. “You’re just predictable Chakotay!” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Mark had finally been served at the bar and turned to see where Kathryn had disappeared. He kept himself to the edge of the room as he looked around. He saw her, standing next to Chakotay. He watched them talking. Chakotay said something that made her laugh. Mark realised that it had been a long time since he’d seen her laugh like that. She seemed like a different person, alive, vibrant, younger. Watching them he was aware of just how comfortable they were with each other. How her hand constantly touched his arm or chest. Mark heard a voice behind him... “Oh I wished we were playing our old betting game now Tara. You know, the one we’d play when things got quiet on the bridge, guessing how many times the captain would touch the commander…or call him into her ready room…” Mark froze, trying to appear calm, taking a sip of his drink as he continued to over- hear the two crewmen talk. “I’ve always thought that they made a lovely couple…it’s a shame that they never…got together.” “What makes you sure that they didn’t? Come on, what about that time on that planet? You can’t tell me that they didn’t!!” “Well if that’s true, it just makes it even more tragic…” The two crewmen started to move away, and Mark just caught the male making some kind of comment about the woman being too romantic. He stood still, watching Kathryn, his Kathryn. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ “Do you ever miss the Delta Quadrant Chakotay?” “Oh yeah, there are some days when I really fancy a run in with the Borg. Or being hunted down by the Hirogen…” They both laughed. “I didn’t mean it like that…” Chakotay watched the laughter fade in her eyes, replaced by sadness. “I mean that sometimes I miss the fun….Voyager isn’t the same anymore. I miss our family….us all being together, now we’re scattered…It’s just difficult sometimes.” He watched as her eyes scanned the room, taking in the familiar faces of Voyager’s original crew. He wanted to reach out to her, tell her he was still there, that he would stay by her side. But he knew that he couldn’t. She had Mark now to turn to when she felt lonely or needed a friend. His sadness ran deep and jealousy twisted within him like a knife. He was no longer able to sit by her side on the bridge stealing sideward glances; Or enjoy her company on the holodeck; Or watch as her eyes danced with laughter during one of their dinners together. He missed her. He knew that she belonged to another, but at least for tonight he could enjoy her company a bit longer and that would have to do. He smiled at her… “Care to dance with an old friend?” Her smile told him the answer and he placed his hand on the small of her back to guide her. Gods! His hand was touching her naked back! Chakotay swallowed hard as he felt her soft skin under his palm, resisting the urge to let his fingers explore lower. Kathryn felt an electric pulse run down her spine when he had touched her. She looked at him, cheeks flushed, seeing his thoughts dancing within those dark eyes and watched as he struggled to control them. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Mark watched Chakotay leading her onto the dance floor. Watched as his hand gently spread over her back. He tried to tell himself they were just two friends…Chakotay swirled her into his arms, making her laugh again. That look on her face…Had she ever looked at him that way? That flirtatious glint in her eyes, the hint of danger…Had she? Even back in the early days? Mark couldn’t remember. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Chakotay didn’t want to mention it… “How’s the wedding plans coming along?” He felt her tighten. She had caught the tension in his voice and averted her eyes. “Fine…” His voice dropped to a whisper… “Kathryn…you know I can’t…” She cut him off; she didn’t want to hear the rest. “Chakotay…” They fell silent a moment. When she spoke again she tried to make it sound light and casual. “Is there anyone…uh…in your life?” Chakotay was not fooled by her flippant tone “There was someone I loved a great deal…” Again she tensed as Chakotay looked deep into her eyes making her shiver “But… she didn’t… feel the same…” Chakotay watched her eyes cloud over. He could drown in those blue eyes. Standing there, holding her in his arms he felt as though time had stood still. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Mark had noticed they had stopped dancing and were just looking at each other. He moved toward them. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Chakotay started to lower his head toward her, maintaining the eye contact, oblivious to anyone else in the room. She was unable to move her head away, her eyes dropped from his, focusing on his mouth. She gently licked her lips. How long had she thought about this? “Excuse me. Kath?” Kathryn felt like she had just been snatched away from a dream. She felt dazed as she rubbed her forehead, her eyes focusing on the ground. “Er, Mark, you remember Chakotay don’t you?” Her voice was cracked with emotion as the two men exchanged nods. Mark could see the anger and jealousy flicking within Chakotay’s eyes. Chakotay in turn saw Mark’s fear of losing her. Mark was aware of the tension between the two of them and wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t come over. *She wouldn’t have done…not here* He looked to Kathryn, noticing that she at least had the grace to blush. “Kath, I thought I’d better remind you, we’ve an early start in the morning…” “Yes…er…yeah… Goodnight Chakotay” She smiled that half smile of hers at Chakotay, trying to hide a tinge of regret. Her eyes were watery and he knew she didn’t want to leave. His voice was soft as he spoke, his eyes penetrating her soul. “Goodnight Kathryn, it’s been good to see you again…” His voice became harder as he addressed his rival. “Mark.” She quickly blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. Mark nodded an acknowledgement and conscious of Kathryn’s inability to move, he guided her away. Chakotay watched them go. B’Elanna approached him. “Hey” He looked fleetingly at B’Elanna and then back at Kathryn. He struggled to reply, his voice low “How’s things?” B’Elanna answered softly aware of his thoughts. “I was about to ask you the same question Chakotay…” He shrugged a response “After all this time, you still can’t let her go can you Chakotay?” “I thought that I had B’Elanna…But just seeing her again…” B’Elanna hesitated before continuing. “You know they’re getting married soon, don’t you?” Chakotay nodded and a slight bitterness came into his voice “I’ve been invited.” “Are you going?” He turned to look at her, unashamed to reveal the depth of his pain. “I can’t…I can’t watch her marry…him…” B’Elanna put her arms around him and hugged him close, wishing that she could help him. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ |
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