"Has it ever occurred to you that nothing ever occurs to God?" -Clayton's prof
Peter: "Brian, there's a message in my Alpha Bits. It says 'OOOOOO'!"
Brian: "Peter, those are Cheerios."
"I've got the trees, and I've got my cheese." -drunk guy at NY freshmen get together
Italian hotel worker: "Your laundry will be ready in an hour."
Dad: "Uh... no... parlo... anglay....." (loosely translated: 'I don't speak English.')
Jenny: "It can be a tablecloth or a skirt."
Dad: "How convenient."
"When we say 'best thing since sliced bread,' to them it's like, ::hits head::, sliced bread?!" -dad, on Europeans and their lack of sliced bread
"Everytime you wear that coat, an angel loses its wings." -Julie
"Real men don't use Butterfly Abs." -Julie
"Mom was cruel to the family by not eating her French Fries." -dad (long story)
"Elderly People Crossing" -British roadsign, with graphic
"You've ruined more than just my salad. You've ruined cheese." -Julie (long story)
"Humped Toucan Crossing" -roadsign in London
"We're not here to do Europe well. We're here to do Europe!" -dad
Jenny: "Maybe I should just become a lesbian."
Margie: "Oh, that reminds me; Jenny, I need you. Come hither."
"This is a coat closet." -Jenny
"A lot of kids here are socially inept." -Princeton Review on CMU
Erik: "I am wooing you!"
Aimee: "Why?"
Tom: "The Jesus Seminar was a bunch of people that met to drink martinis and used colored pebbles to decide what Jesus did and didn't say."
Random Voice: "Where can I sign up?!"
“Girls are like beanbags. Guys are just guys. If a guy runs into a guy, it’s like, ‘Oh, a guy just ran into me.’ But if a girl runs into a girl, it’s like, ‘fump.’” -Jack, explaining why girls can sleep together and boys can’t
“You! Diarrhea song! Sing it!” -Karen
"Looky Jenny - I’m intelligent!” -Jack
"Now I know what it feels like to be a little bunny." -Mark, while connected to electrodes
"He looks like he's been attacked by Mary Engelbreit" -Mandy, of a man with colorful flowered pants
"Ooh, those are mean eyes. You got your mean eyes on. Your angry eyes." -Mr. Westfall, to Margie in the hall
"Son of a piece of fruit..." -Adam
Jenny: "We should start campaigning for senior superlatives."
Maria: "What? You're Kim-hating?"
"My mom thought Jen drugged me again." -Sam
"Don't settle for a little Jesus on the go." -Dave
Lynn: "Boys, where do you get this pitch?"
Boys (in unison): "The girls."
"And then there's Hot Chocolate for the Teenage Chicken Soul..." -Dave
"No, no. That's my private slinky." -Schwartz
"Don't let your Deweys confuse you." -Taylor
"You guys touch me." -pocket Karen
Neil: "I know I'm not an idiot."
Foreign exchange student: "Well, you might be..."
"You know your paper's too long if there's an intermission." -Jia
"It'd be cool if James Bond's middle name was Bond, because then on the attendance sheet his name would be Bond, James Bond." -Jia
“Call me so we can make arrangement.” -Muhammad, ie strange man that calls my cell phone
"When you think corn, think smut. When you think smut, think sin." -Dave
“I have hot pants for you!” -Chip
"As you can see, there are two kinds of people in life. Der are dem dat do, and der are dem dat dippity do. Which one are you? As for me, I'm a dippity doer. Peace." -John Reuben
“And now, Mr. Detached Indifference begins to yell.” -Cossarini, on The Stranger
“Have fun with your lightening bugs.” -Adam
Jenny: “Right now it’s between Michigan and Carnegie Mellon.”
Doctor: “Well then, I guess it’s either “Go Blue” or “Go......”
Jenny: “plaid.”
“There is no such thing as a good-looking fruit bat.” -Discovery Channel
“I saw that! I’m telling!” -Jaime, on an intimate moment between Maria and Drew
“These voices I keep hearing... telling me to injure students...” -Cossarini
“Drew’s just like Hitler. Except for the bad attributes.” -Mike
Mandy: (to woman with dog) “Shalom! Ma shlomcha? Naeam lifgosh otcha.”
Jenny: “I don’t think she speaks Hebrew.”
Mandy: “I was talking to the dog.”
“Damn! You wet my fluff!” -Jeremy
“That would be harder than stacking babies in the wind.” -Trow
“Margie’s fun. Fun in a bag.” -Maria
