Chapter 5 The voices yelling back and forth yanked Kari from her dreams.  It took her a minute to realize where she was at.  She got up and opened the door slightly so that she could hear the muffled voices more clearly.  Matt and Jeff were arguing.  "WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING?!?!", Jeff yelled at his brother.  "I GUESS, I WAS THINKING THAT SOMEONE NEEDED TO TELL HER!  YOU SURE AS HELL WEREN’T GOING TO!", Matt returned.  They were fighting because of her.  This was not what she wanted to happen.  She had brought complete disruption to the one place that she thought she could go to for comfort and safety.  "AND WHY DOES SHE DESERVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW?!?!   SHE LEFT US, THE ONES WHO LOVED HER MORE THAN ANYONE….MORE THAN EVEN HER OWN FAMILY!  SHE GAVE UP THAT RIGHT TO KNOW THE MINUTE SHE FORGOT ABOUT US!", Jeff raged.  She threw on some clothes, brushed her teeth and her hair and began to pack her suitcase.   "JESUS, JEFF!!  ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF?!?", Matt asked.  The volume of Matt’s voice lowered a bit as he said, "If you really loved her that much, then you would be glad that she’s here.  She came here because she knew that she could trust us."  Jeff brought his voice back to a normal tone as he asked with confusion, "What are you talking about?"  "You know how you get sometimes on the road?  Where you would just give it all up to be home?  The one place where it doesn’t matter what you do for a living or who everyone thinks you are….the one place that people care about YOU for you and not what you’ve become?"  Jeff shook his head ‘yes’.  "That’s what she’s doing.  She needs to get away from it all.  She needs us.", Matt said.  "I get it.  But what about when we needed her.  She wasn’t here.", Jeff said sadly.  "Look, bro, she didn’t leave us because she didn’t want to be here.  She left to follow her dreams.  Would you have rather that she gave up her dreams just to stay here so that we wouldn’t miss her?  That’s being a little selfish don’t you think?", Matt said.  Jeff didn’t know how to answer him, because he knew that his brother was right.  "I just wish that you wouldn’t have told her is all.", he said, "Now, how can I look at her knowing that she knows?"  "I don’t know, but you’d better figure out a way.", Matt said sternly.  About that time, Kari walked into the living room, "He doesn’t have to…..I’m leaving."  She brushed past them towards the door.  "Kari, wait….Don’t go.", Matt pleaded.  She turned and looked at him, "I have to.  I can’t bring anymore pain into this house.  It’s seen enough."  The tears began to fill her eyes as she turned to Jeff, "And just for the record, I never forgot you.  There’s no way I could ever forget you."  "Kari, I….", Jeff started, but she interrupted, "tell your Dad I’ll call him when I get home."  And with that she went out and got into her car and drove away.  She glanced in the rear view mirror to find them both standing on the porch watching her pull away - just as they had done ten years prior.  She stopped at a little flower shop in town and bought two bouquets of flowers.  She then went to the cemetery where both her mother and Mrs. Hardy were buried.  She knelt down as she placed one of the bouquets on her mother’s grave.  "I’m sorry I’ve been away so long, Mama.", she said as she placed her hand on the headstone.  She sat there for a few minutes remembering the times that she had spent in the kitchen making cookies with her mother.  All of her wonderful memories of her mother flooded her mind.  A few minutes later, she walked over a few rows to Mrs. Hardy’s grave.  She knelt again as she placed the other bouquet on the grave.  "Your family brought such peace and unity to my life and all I have managed to bring to it is disruption.  I’m sorry.  I wish you were here to tell me what to do.  I know that you would know the right thing to say.  I miss you so much.  I love you.", she said as she kissed her finger tips and then pressed them to the name that was engraved in the marble headstone.  She pulled herself back together as she drove away from the cemetery.  There was one more place that she wanted to go before she left her hometown.  She turned the car off right next to the little dirt path that wound itself into the woods.  She followed the path until she saw the calming waters of that lake that she knew so well.  She slipped off her sandals and sat down on the bank dangling her feet in the water.  She had come to this place so many times.  She called it her "thinking place."  So many times she had sat in that very spot dreaming of the life that she wanted for herself.  She laughed as she remembered the time that Matt had found her and thrown her in fully clothed.  And how they had sat together that day, soaking wet, telling each other their dreams.  She and Matt always seemed to be on the same page.  They were so much alike.  She had truly thought of him as her "brother" and best friend.  And she cried as she remembered the day that Mrs. Hardy had died.  How she had found Jeff crying in that very spot.  Suddenly she realized she was not alone.  "I thought I’d find you here.", Matt said taking a seat beside her on the grass.  She smiled at  him.  "There’s no way I can talk you into staying?", he asked.  She smiled again as she shook her head ‘no’.  "Well, then, take this with you.", he said handing her a small notebook.  "What’s this?", she said as she started to open it.  Matt placed his hand on top of hers, closing the book, "Wait until you’re on the plane to look at it."  Again, she asked, "What is it?"  "It’s one of Jeff’s notebooks.  He left it at Dad’s when he moved.", he explained.  "I don’t understand.", she said, searching his eyes for some kind of answer.  He smiled, "That’s just it.  You don’t understand.  You don’t understand Jeff.  He’s more in tune with his feelings than anyone that I have ever  known.  He thinks a lot, sometimes a little too much.  This book is full of his poems, his thoughts and even a couple of short stories.  I think that if you read it, you will understand him a little more."  "Thanks", she said.  "But if he finds out that you have it, I’ll swear that you took it.  I’ll deny it ‘til the end.", he said laughing.  "Deal.", she said now smiling herself.  They stood up and walked back to their cars.  "I’ve got something I need you to give to your Dad for me.", she said as she opened her trunk and reached down into her bag.  "I was going to give it to him tonight, but…", she said as she handed him a golden statuette.  "Kari, this is your Oscar.  Are you sure you want to give it to him?", he asked amazed at her gesture.  "It’s not my Oscar, it’s his.  I never would have won it if it wasn’t for him.", she insisted.  "He’ll love it.", Matt said as he hugged her, "Try not to stay away so long this time."  "I promise.", she said as she hugged him back, "I love you."  "I love you too, sweetie.", he said as he kissed her on the cheek.  They said good bye, got into their cars and drove away.              Last Chapter ..*.. 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