These are lines heard, borrowed and stolen from all sorts of places: the Internet, school, bumper stickers, and more places that we'd love to remember but can't. We'd like to say we were original enough to come up with these, but we aren't. Our original stuff is on the Random Page Of Randomness; this is a collection of the phrases and smart-ass sayings that we like most of all.
The good news, or the bad news depending on how you look at it, is there are so many quotes that I don't wanna cram them all on one page. So... for the new quotes, please click on "Page 2" to go to the second page of Bizarre Quotes!
"Death is life's way of telling you you're fired"
"Adults are just kids with money"
"If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it"
"Nothing is illegal until you get caught"
"If everything is coming your way, chances are you're in the wrong lane"
"If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway"
"I'm not littering, I'm donating to the Earth"
"DARE to keep the cops off donuts!"
"Save the planet - recycle an environmentalist"
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups"
"Your village called... they're missing an idiot"
"Change is good... you go first"
"You know you're getting older when Happy Hour is a nap"
"Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand"
"Boy bands... the spawn of Satan"
"Death to Pop Idol!!"
"Maybe this world is another planet's hell"
"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans"
"Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?"
"The one difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits"
"It's only funny 'til someone gets hurt... then it's hilarious!"
"If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?"
"Psychiatrists say one in four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're okay, you're it"
"Coffee, chocolate, men. Some things are just better rich"
"I would give up chocolate -but I'm no quitter"
"Whose cruel idea was it to put the 's' in 'lisp'?"
"I don't suffer from insanity, I'm enjoying every second of it!"
"There are three types of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't"
"There are three kinds of people in the world: those who watch things happen, those who make things happen and those who just don't know what the hell happened"
"Tell the little voices in your head to shut up! I can't hear mine!"
"Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four Cokes in a case. Coincidence?"
"Why be difficult when you can be impossible?"
"Are you always this stupid or is today your special day?"
"Monday is one helluva way to spend one-seventh of your life"
"I press the CONTROL key but it's not giving me any!"
"No, I'm not feeling violent, I'm feeling creative with weapons"
"I'm not your type; I'm not inflatable"
"Well, aren't you a waste of 2 billion years of evolution?"
"My life is a constant battle against maturity"
"I just got lost in thought... it was unfamiliar territory"
"Quiet, brain, or I'll poke you with another Q-tip!"
"Life isn't a garden, so stop being such a ho"
"I think, therefore I am depressed"
"Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scary in there!"
"I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me"
"My mind is like a banana tree filled with monkeys clamouring for attention"
"If we're not supposed to eat animals, then how come they're made out of meat?"
"Someone's got a case of the Mondays" (That someone would probably be Blue... :P)
"The little men who live behind my eyes and scream directly at my brain told me to tell you 'hello'"
Want more of the madness? Go on to page 2! >>
This page updated 2004-05-01 by Blue