Modern western society has attempted to force-fit people into very distinct moulds. There's the entire educational system which is geared to producing workers for industry. (See 'The Third Wave' by Alvin Toffler). There's the entertainment and media, which are geared towards selling products. This stuff is pervasive, mind-numbing and introduces pressures that are hard to deal with. We also tend to reinforce these behaviour patterns and world views in our children. (Usually done completely unconsciously, but done by some of us so that they can at least have a fair chance at survival in a cruel and uncaring universe.)

We raise our boys to be rough, tough, go-getters. We raise the girls to be demure, polite and caring. We give the boys guns and toy soldiers to play with. We give the girls dolls to dress up, dolls that require diaper changing, feeding and so on. Then we wonder why men can't handle babies, and women can't change a flat tire. We make jokes about blondes, yet we constantly use attractive blondes to sell stuff to men.

All of this is based upon the way our civilization has grown up. From a long long time ago, men are expendable, women are to be protected so they can raise children. Me, I'm a complete believer in chivalry, which is an old fashioned concept, but is still perfectly valid. The concept that men are expendable still holds true today, at least from a long term racial survival point of view. It's the same way in nature (mostly). Is it right? I'm not qualified to answer that. I'm not even going to address it much.

Perhaps you're wondering where I'm going with this, I don't know, it's just kind of flowing, I'm just putting thoughts down without really worrying about organizing them. I do know why I'm doing this tho. I'm doing it because I can, because I want to, and because maybe, just maybe, someone else will read it and learn something. It might even help someone to better understand themselves. If I can achieve that, then I've helped repay the debt I incurred when other folks helped me. (You know who you are).

So, back to Marianne, not that she ever left, but up until a couple of years ago, she didn't even have a name. Now she does. There's a lot of reasons I call myself Marianne, all of which are irrelevant here, it's just a handle to hang onto. Why 'Fletcher'? Well, it's a verb. By now, any of my real close friends (about a half dozen people, of which possibly only two would/could ever read this) would be thinking to themselves, "Naw, it can't be him!" then they might think "Wow, that's cool, that explains a lot!". If you do read this, don't be afraid to ask me if I know of someone called Marianne Fletcher.

Now, we were talking of simple pleasures, which kicks off my next train of thought here. When we're happy, we produce chemicals in our system called 'endorphins', which latch onto receptor cells in the brain and make us feel happy. (And yes, I did mean to phrase it that way.) Those receptors are also sensitive to certain illegal substances, which is why they're so addictive and effective. It's also why I don't do drugs. Too dangerous for my tastes.

The public, external me, lives in a world where I would be thought of as very strange, effeminate, gay, or maybe sick, if I was seen to be made happy by simple pleasures. As Marianne, not only am I encouraged to enjoy them, but I can comfortably talk about them without feeling bad about it. However, even as Marianne, there are plenty of them that I've not yet experienced. Some of them I doubt, very much, if I'll ever experience. Some of them I'm not sure about.


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mariannef@oocities.com