What is in a name
I dont play the sue me game
If it is me you want to blame
Remember I dont have money cus I'm lame
This a fic I wrote years ago.
NCS, Torture, Angst, and Violence
NC-17
1x2, 1x3, 1x4, 3x4 1x?
Plot: This is a really dark fic about Heero raping Quatre while he was drunk.
What will Trowa and Duo do when or if they find out?
“Talk”
‘Thoughts’
//Flashbacks//
So Innocent Part 6
by Markanovanlink
In a field of wildflowers, a young boy plays with his dog. The colors of the world hug him as he rips and runs through the field. Soon the boy becomes tired and decides to lay in the soft green grass. The world is a peaceful place for the boy until a rough hand grabs his leg. The boy struggles to get free of the hand but is grabbed by another hand. The more he struggles the more hands began to grab him. The boy screams as the hands pull him into a deep and dark pit.
Tear filled eyes spring open as Quatre screams himself awake from his nightmare. He looks around only to see an empty dark room. He tries to control his radical breathing. 'It was just a dream. Dreams don't hurt you. Oh Allah, forgive me.' Quatre sits up when he hears the door slowly open.
"Trowa let me go in and see him."
"No Duo. Not right now. I will see to him. You and Wufei can see him when he feels better. Not until then." Duo looked at Trowa and saw just how unemotional and calm he could look. Duo turned around and left.
"Don't be a rock today, Trowa." Trowa watched as Wufei followed Duo down the hallway. Trowa sighed and opened the door to the room. What he saw broke his heart. Quatre was sitting in the bed shaking. Trowa ran to him and placed his hands on Quatre's shoulders.
"Quatre? Are you okay?" Quatre didn't respond. His attention and eyes were glued to the door of the room. Trowa looked into the direction Quatre was looking and didn't see nothing unusual. He gave Quatre's shoulders a little squeeze before walking towards the door. He looked into Quatre's staring glaze and realized that he knew all to well what that look could mean. Trowa slammed the door closed and watched as Quatre seemed to wake from his trance. Quatre looked at Trowa and then looked down. Trowa walked back towards him and placed his hand up under Quatre's chin. "Quatre look at me, please." Quatre slowly raised his head. "Quatre, tell me what really happened to you."
"To me?"
"Yes you. I know something happened to you. The doctors wouldn't have said..."
"What do you think happened to me?"
"I don't know. I just hope...I would hate for something bad to happen to you. I would hate for someone to take advantage of you in anyway, shape or form. I want you to know if anything has happened to you that I am here for you."
"Trowa can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Did something bad ever happen to you? The kind that you think happened to me." Trowa was shocked by the question but didn't show it. He made Quatre lay back in the bed and covered him up. Trowa stood on his knees on the floor next to the bed and look deep into the watery aquas.
"Yes." Quatre heart almost stopped. He looked at Trowa and couldn't believe all the emotion that was in that one yes. Quatre reached for Trowa's face with his small hands and placed them on Trowa's cheeks.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"Yes." Trowa leaned into the soft warmth of Quatre's hand and closed his eyes. "All my life I lived in a world that could care less if I was breathing or not. I tried to survive the best way I could. I can remember living on the streets of L3 with nothing but dead bodies and destruction to look at. I joined the mercenaries when I was very young. I don't remember how old. I learned a lot from them. More than I should have. I was the youngest of them all. They were all middle aged men. Many of them treated me like family but there were a few that treated me like their meal ticket. I was ra...abuse by some of them physically and sexually. In a way I thought it was a way to pay them back for what they done for me, and I also thought it was God's way to punish me for all the killing I was doing with them. I lost so much of my self I didn't have in the first place. Quatre, I have no name, I have no family, I have no one. Along with that and all the killing I was doing I started to lose all sense of feeling all together. I let them and whom ever else do what they wanted when they wanted. I have given my body freely with no shame because shame comes with feelings which I had none of anymore. I care nothing for myself. I thought I cared for no one until Cathy and you came into my life. Quatre, I lov...care for you so much. I couldn't live with my self if something bad has ever happened to you. I never cared for anyone as much as I care for you. I want to...protect you always...and be there for you." Quatre watched Trowa speak the entire time and wiped away the only tear that came form his eyes.
"Trowa I am so sorry."
"Don't be. My past doesn't bother me. I have moved beyond that years ago. My focus is the here and now and you."
"Trowa, why do you care about me so much? I'm nothing."
"You are everything to me little one and more. I started to feel again because of you. I started to see a new life because of your smile. Quatre, I think...I love you." Quatre looked shocked and backed away from Trowa.
"You don't know what you are saying. I'm..." Trowa place his finger on Quatre's lips.
"More than worthy of me. It is me who is not worthy of you little one."
"Trowa you just don't understand."
"Who hurt you?"
"What?"
"Who hurt you?"
"No body." 'I can't tell you. What would you think of me?'
"Quatre please, tell me who hurt you."
"No body did nothing!"
"Shh. Settle down little one. We can talk about this later, right now I want you to get some rest." Quatre looked away feeling shame wash over him. How could he yell at Trowa like that.
"Trowa?"
"Yes."
"When it first happen to you, did you feel ashamed?"
Trowa raised his eyebrow and said "When what happened?"
"You know...when...they...they forced themselves on you." Trowa watched Quatre twist the bed sheet with both hands as his words left his lips.
'Who has hurt you little one. I wish you would tell me.' "Yes."
"Did you...ow!" Quatre was twisting the sheets so hard that it caused his arms to ache and bleed. Trowa cleaned Quatre's wounds and wrapped them up. After making Quatre lay down in the bed, he gave Quatre his pain medication so the burning sensation in his arms would go away. He sat on the bed next to Quatre until he fell asleep.
'I will find out who hurt you little one. I will.'
***************************
Duo sat in the small living room in silence until Wufei walked in. "Wufei?"
"Yes."
"What would you do if a friend betrayed you with another friend?"
"It depends on what they betrayed me with."
"Your heart." Wufei sighed and sat next to Duo.
"What happened between you and Heero." Just as Wufei said that Heero entered the room.
"None of your business. If you excuse me, Duo and I have something to talk about." Wufei stood and nodded his head and began to walk out of the room.
"Oh and by the way Heero, stop acting like the perfect asshole." Duo couldn't kept it in. That was the funniest thing he ever heard Wufei say. Duo laughed out loud as Heero sat down next to him.
"Are you done."
"Hahahaha! Oh... I'm sorry, but you have to admit it was a little funny. So what do you have to talk to me about?"
"Us."
"Want about us?"
"I never slept with Quatre." 'At least I hope not.' "I love you Duo."
"I guess you can't blame a guy for having fantasies. Heero I love you too, but My name is Duo not Quatre."
"I know. I am so sorry. I don't know why I did that. It will never happen again. I promise."
"What will never happen again?" Trowa stood in the hallway with his arms crossed over his chest. Heero froze as he watch Trowa walk into the living room. Duo felt a strange tension between the two but couldn't figure out why. "Duo, I need to talk to Heero, alone."
For some reason Duo couldn't find his voice and only nodded to Trowa and walked out of the room.
"What do we need to talk about?"
"Us."
"Us?" Heero sat down and looked at the floor. 'Maybe he will finally tell me what happened that night I was drunk.'
"Remember when I took you in?"
"Yes."
"You remember the night of the party?"
"Yes."
Trowa walked toward Heero and stood in front of him saying, "Do you remember that night?"
Heero swallowed hard. Heero ran his eyes up to meet Trowa's only to see non-emotional emeralds staring unblinking at him. His voice was almost a whisper when he answered Trowa. "No."
"Do you remember what happened two nights ago?"
Heero looked down and lost the will to speak. He shook his head. Trowa backed away from Heero. His face lost all signs of a non-emotional state, instead it gained a furious burn. In a most heated and hard voice Trowa said, "If I find out that you did what I think you did, I will rip the skin from your body." Trowa looked at Heero with disgust. "I am giving you the benefit of the doubt though. I would never in a million years think you would do that to Quatre. I hope you will prove me wrong."
As Trowa left the room, Heero sighed and hoped he could too.