The jeep pulled up outside a large white building…the only one not covered in green. Hawkeye already hated that colour, and being here didn’t help at all…Margaret had noticed this too…and had only guessed it was the OR. “Hey what’s this Radar?” asked Hawkeye. “OR, Post Op, Pre Op, Scrub Room, the Lab, X-ray room and the offices.” “We have to report to the colonel now?” asked Margaret…fully knowing so. “Yeah…follow me.” “What about the bags?” “We’ll get them later Hawk,” Margaret assured him. They were led through a double door into a small office, fitted out with a desk, what looked like a very complicated communication system, many filling cabinets, a stove, a cot and a footlocker…it was evident that this was where Radar slept. There were also two sets of double doors…one leading to another office…the other leading somewhere else. “Colonel’s just through here.” Radar leads them in through to the other office…the Colonel’s office. There sat a man in his mid 40’s, leaning over his desk, tying a fishing hook. It was very obvious he liked to fish…he was wearing a bucket hat, which had fishing hooks and ties all hanging off it. Amongst it all were his insignia, he hadn’t heard them come in.
“Ah Colonel Blake…” “Yo Radar” “Ah new personnel Colonel sir.” “Radar…it’s either Colonel or Sir.” “Yes sir Colonel.” Hawkeye and Margaret listen in amusement. “New personnel did you say?” “Yes sir…Captain Pierce, Major Houlihan” “Captain, Major” Henry said as he shook their hand. “Can I interest one of you in a drink?” “What have you got?” asked an almost excited Hawkeye…why he was excited about a drink…he didn’t know. “Oh scotch, rye, sherry, gin…the normal stuff” “Scotch thanks” “Major?” “Same thanks.” “So how was your trip here?” “Long…too long” Hawkeye says as they accept their drinks and sit down. “I’ve had better,” Margaret complains. “Been here two days now and ’ave seen so much crap here…you’ve never dreamt of” “Well that’s reassuring Colonel,” says an extremely sarcastic Hawkeye…keeping his mind off Trapper. “Sorry captain, it’s only fitting that you know what the hell you’re in for.” “Before you say anything else…can we drop the titles please?” “Okay then…call me Henry.” “Hawkeye” says Hawkeye. “Margaret” adds Margaret. “Well I’m sure you two want to get settled in?” “Yeah Henry…” “You want our papers Henry?” asked Margaret “Oh yeah…thanks…I always forget that part.” “Radar also said we were receiving wounded soon?” asked a still anxious Margaret. “Yeah, in an hour or two…that should give you just enough time to get things settled…maybe meet the few officers we have.” “Well Colonel…thanks for the drink” “Anytime…RADA…” “Yes sir?” “Geez Louise…will you stop doing that?” “Ah yes sir…let me “show the Captain and the Major to their quarters now.”” “Thank you Radar.” “This way sirs…”
Radar leads them out of the office and into the compound. “Would you sirs want to look around or you just wanna unpack?” “Margaret?” “I’m not too tired, could you show us around corporal?” “Yes sir…uh m’am” “Radar, how about calling me Margaret? It may say I’m regular army…but I assure you…I’m more a draftee like Hawkeye” “Thanks maj…I mean Margaret.” “You’ll get it kid.” She flashes Radar a warm smile and he starts to feel comfortable. The only other officer besides the colonel was mean and thought that enlisted men shouldn’t be around officers. Yet here were two officers who were treating him like an equal…he only hoped the other captain that was coming was like Hawkeye and Margaret. “I could show you around the hospital first?” “Sure Radar” “How many nurses would be working a shift?” “In OR I think 6. In Post Op, 2 at a time unless there’s a deluge…in that case the rest would be working too.” “How many personnel all together?” asks Hawkeye…wanting to know what he’s in for. “All up – the doctors, nurses, enlisted and other officers…around 40.” “How many at the moment?” “There’s a couple more coming after Captain McIntyre…about 30 at the moment I think.” Hawkeye tensed up at the mention of Trapper’s name. Margaret noticed this and was sure his problem was the captain that was arriving later that day. She would talk with him about it later. They walk down to the end of the long white building and enter the double door there. “This is Post Op…as you can see.” “Corporal…are these the new personnel?” “Ah yes sir Major” “Don’t I get a salute Corporal?” Radar quickly obliges. “Sorry sir.”
Hawkeye already disliking the major, and sensing Radar nervousness, quickly introduced them. “I’m Hawkeye Pierce, and this lovely vision beside me is Margaret Houlihan.” “Major Frank Burns” Frank gives an almost goofy grin and shakes her hand…he didn’t know if they were captains or what, as they both had their jackets off thus not wearing their insignias. “So is that Captain Pierce?” “Just for the duration of my time here in hell.” Margaret had remained silent up until now. She also disliked the major. He gave off a bad feeling to those around him…and although Margaret was used to this…she still didn’t like it. “And it’s Major Houlihan,” she says, breaking her silence. “You’re the head nurse then major?” asks a besotted Frank. “That’s what I’m told.” Margaret wanted to make sure he knew that she wasn’t interested in and kind of formal army behaviour…and she wasn’t interested full stop.
“So how long have these guys been here?” asked Hawkeye, who went to check on the nearest patient out of pure habit. “ah…2100 yesterday…that man is fine…I just checked him.” “What man? He can’t be more than 15…he’s just a baby…what’s this? 20 milligrams of penicillin?” “That’s to prevent Post Op Infection…you as a doctor should know that.” “Anyone knows you don’t give that much unless it’s absolutely necessary.” Margaret was fuming…the one thing she hated more than sleazy guys…was practising bad medicine. Hawkeye was just as angry…what was this idiot doing practising medicine? “Ah Lieutenant…could you get me a saline bag?” He said to a nearby nurse. “Yes doctor” “And even if he did really need it…he couldn’t handle more than 15 milligrams…look at him.” All Frank could say was “Humph!” and stormed off muttering something about the new flyboy showing him up…and he was just a captain! “Is he gonna be okay Hawk?” “He should be…Margaret, could you give me a hand please?” “Bag please lieutenant?” as soon as Margaret had the bag up and attached the IV…the colour in the kid’s face started to become a little pinker. “Good shooting Maggie” “Thanks Hawk.” “What is all the commotion in here then?” Henry had just stormed in…angry about being interrupted from tying the fly to his hooks…and he too not liking Frank. “The major here” as he pointed to Frank “over prescribed the…” He still wasn’t sure of insignias “Private” Margaret helped him. “Here of penicillin” “How much?” asked a worried Henry. “Almost 5 milligrams” piped in Margaret. “Is he okay now?” “Yeah…I ordered a bag of saline and the colour’s starting to look better” “He is too…I thought it was the infection” “There wasn’t any…Frank wrote the wrong diagnoses.” Added Margaret…totally pissed off at the Major. “Frank…my office now. Good work guys.” Henry walks off with Frank in tow.
“Is he always like this?” questions Margaret. “Major Burns? Yeah…I heard the Colonel was trying to get him replaced…but it’s hard when the war’s been not 5 days. ” “Can we continue?” asks Hawkeye…wanting to move along so he and Margaret can talk…”Yes sir…next OR.” They walk through a few doors and get to the area where they would be operating on so many men…and hopefully lose as few as humanly possible. “Four tables?” asks a puzzled Margaret “Yeah…they’ve shrunk down the size of mash units since the last war…had trouble finding surgeons.” “So at any one time…there would be 4 doctors, 6 nurses, 4 gas passers and orderlies?” “I guess so…but I haven’t been in a war before…I was only just too young for World War two…so I guess I was lucky.” “And through here.” Pipes up Radar… “Is Post Op…and in there’s the Surgeon’s Scrub room” He points to his right. “The Nurses one there” He points to his left. “And Lab and X-ray are through there” He points in front of him. “And then there’s just the offices that you saw.” “So where do we eat” “Boy when said you didn’t listen…you weren’t kidding” “I ignored all but the medical info.” “Mess tent’s through these doors”
They exit through the doors and back out into the compound. Hawkeye and Margaret hold their noses in disgust. “What’s that God awful smell?” asks Hawkeye. “That I’m guessing…would be the kitchen” “Yes m’am.” “Do they keep animals here or something?” “No…that’s for us.” “Gross…” “And after 25 years of it…it get worse every time.” “How on earth did you manage?” “I snuck out” Margaret gives a cheeky grin, as they walk ever so closer to the mess tent. The kitchen was off to the left of it…so it smelt even worse inside. “There you go sirs” “Why aren’t you coming in then?” “Uh…it says officer’s mess - see” “Stuff that” Hawkeye almost yells…He whisper’s something to Margaret, she nods and he lifts her up to the ‘officers’ part of the sign and she rips it off. “There…now it’s just a mess” she remarks. “Gee thanks Margaret.” “See…I told you he’d get it!”
They walk in and there’s a few nurses sitting drinking coffee…and what appeared to be a man reading. “Hello Radar” “Oh hi father…uh these are the new personnel…Captain Pierce and Major Houlihan” “Welcome…it isn’t much I know…I’m father Mulcahy…Catholic Priest” “Hawkeye” as he shakes the padre’s hand. “Margaret” as she does the same. “Are either of you Catholic by any chance?” ?Hawkeye and Margaret smile at this…he was nice. “Sorry father.” Hawkeye says. “Well I do all denominations. Can I interest you in a cup of coffee?” “No thanks father…I know what army coffee’s like…only in a case of an emergency.” “So regular army then?” “She is…I was just invited…unfortunately, it’s a mandatory party.” “Radar was just showing us around.” “Well if either of you need to talk…I’m tent number 4…the one with the cross…you can’t miss it.” Hawkeye and Margaret again smile at this. “It was nice to meet you father.” Hawkeye tells him. “You too.”
Hawkeye and Margaret continue on their tour of what can only be described as a garbage dump. They walk out into the compound once again. “Well that’s all the main attractions…there’s just the latrines…the showers and tents.” “Where do we do laundry Radar,” asks a hygiene-obsessed Margaret. “Ah…next to the showers” ask they walk towards them. “The sign’s not up yet…but there’s only 2 showers and the men go at different times than the nurses do.” “Well there goes my fun then.” “I’m sure Hawk” both with cheeky smiles on their faces. “Uh latrines are over there” Radar points towards two shack like buildings. One marked ‘men’ the other marked ‘ladies’…both with the familiar ‘officers only’ sign. Hawkeye was annoyed at this…Radar sensing what he was thinking piped up ”The enlisted ones are just behind it.” “Oh.” Hawkeye was relieved by this. Surely the army wasn’t THAT power-hungry.
“I can show you to your tents now.” “Margaret…you first…I wanna see where I sleep!” Margaret just chuckled at this and answered “We’ll see Hawk.” Hawkeye was delighted that she didn’t turn him down. “M’am…you have your own tent.” “Oh goodie goodie – privacy!!” he slurred the last word showing EXACTLY what his intentions were. “It’s not much at the moment” Radar says as they walk in. “A cot, desk, chair, wardrobe, side table, footlocker and your bags…but you can make it homier” “And I intend to.” Margaret answers…sitting on the bed. “So can it take friction then?” Radar went red with embarrassment. “Knowing army cots…a bit” she smiled thinking about what fun they could and if she had her way…were going to have.
“Let’s go visit yours now.” “About that Hawkeye” Radar tells him “Yeah” “Uh…there’s some bad news” “I don’t have a tent? Oh well…Margaret, move over” “No it’s ah…you have roommates” “Anyone I know?” “Uh Major Burns” “NO WAY” yells Hawkeye. “You’ve got to be kidding Radar” asks Margaret. “Who else?” asks Hawkeye…remembering that he had said roommates. He only hoped it wasn’t who he thought it was…Frank would be a piece of cake compared to Trapper…Margaret had guessed it was the new captain…and if not for Radar there, she would have offered to share hers with him. “Captain McIntyre.” Oh damn damn DAMN! Margaret although having only met Hawkeye a few hours ago…considered him a good friend and came to his rescue “Thank you corporal…that will be all” “Uh okay…your tent’s the big one in the middle…you can’t miss it.” Radar salutes then exits. “Thanks Margaret” “Now Hawkeye” she says sitting on the cot and motioning him to sit beside her. “What’s wrong…I know it’s about that captain that’s coming today…you can tell me.” “Well it’s…”
“Attention, would all passengers on the 4pm flight to Kimpo please make your way to the tarmac now please?” Well here goes my freedom. Trapper knew very well that he could run away…but he also knew that he’d be running away for life. The army has a thing about being AWOL…they don’t like it. Trapper had stopped thinking about Hawkeye and the girls…he’d figured he’d tortured himself enough. On his way to the plane, his thoughts moved to the people he would be working with. Were they all strictly army? He hoped to God they weren’t…he’d shoot himself if they were. ‘Will I make friends? Will I be able to operate? Will I crack up over there?’ All these thoughts and many more were swimming in his mind as he boarded the plane for the second time that day. ‘Will I meet a girl? Can I have fun there…even if it is in a war? If I do…is it wrong? Will I miss my daughters? Will they miss me? Will Louise miss me?’ Trapper didn’t once think of Hawkeye…maybe he had finally got over him.
Unknown to Trapper or anyone else for that matter…although Hawkeye was the one who broke it off…he still wasn’t over Trapper…he missed him, but he listened to his head and reminded himself that Trapper was taken…and he would have to keep looking for that someone.
“Hawkeye?” Margaret was worried…he had stopped talking mid-sentence. “Hmmm? Oh sorry…what was I saying?” “You were about to tell me why you’re afraid of the new captain…do you know him…is he a friend?” “More than you realise.” “What?” Hawkeye was still not sure if he should tell her…after all…she was in the army…and it was a taboo topic. Well…you haven’t talked to anyone about it…not even dad knows about it. And she did say you could tell her…no matter how bad. “Well…for starters…he’s more than…just a friend…or at least he was.” Margaret began to understand…why he was afraid and why he didn’t want to tell her…it was as he said, a taboo topic. But Margaret had seen much of this happen. You can’t live with all-guys and not feel something once in a while. She nodded in understanding what he was talking about “Go on” she urged him. “Well…it happened rather fast, which is why I guess I don’t like discussing it much. I was in my 2nd year of med school…almost exactly 3 years ago. We were playing football against Dartmouth. We really had to win this one or we were out of the season. I was told to watch a particular player as he was a great scorer…funny how that was in 2 cases.” “He was McIntyre right?” “Trapper, yeah.” “Trapper?” “I’ll explain that later” “Okay…go on.” But before Hawkeye could continue came an announcement that would ring in his ears continually. Attention, all personnel…incoming wounded. Welcome Captain Pierce and Major Houlihan…if you enjoy your stay…you’re crazy. “I guess that means we gotta go then?” “Don’t think you’re getting out of telling me the rest Hawkeye” “With you here? Of course not.” They rush out to help – for the first time – in Triage. Luckily for the wounded…Hawkeye managed to keep down his lunch…Margaret wasn’t so fortunate.
About the same time, Trapper’s plane, bound for Kimpo, had again taken off on its last step towards the war. He finally gave up thinking about all the ‘what if’s’, and tried to look for the positive…but what is the positive in a war? He thought about having a drink…then decided against it, remembering it was said in training that wounded would come at any time. There would most likely be wounded when he arrived as the war was just a few days old and they were just getting started…and he wanted a clear head if he needed to operate. In a way he was glad he chose MASS General…they did receive all the highly critical patients and there was nothing good about being hurt, but if it gave him a taste of things to come…then he was grateful for the opportunity and the practice. He had researched a bit into life at a mash and learned that you got little sleep and the working hours were horrendous. 6-12 hours and then some! He pulled out his orders and looked at them again. He was assigned to the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital – a MASH unit. His commanding officer was a Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake. He looked at his serial number and almost smiled: US…he too was drafted. Maybe it won’t be too G.I. after all? With a glimpse of hope, he took it and managed to sleep the rest of the way to Kimpo. He was to be picked up at 4:30…ah 1630 so he was gonna be waiting a while. Ah well…just enough time to hate the place…not that he already didn’t.
Margaret had spent the better part of 10 minutes in the latrine, as her stomach threw back at her everything she had eaten in the past 2 days. She hoped that this was a once off…as much as she hated war, she didn’t want to be shipped off somewhere else. She was a damn good nurse and was proud of it. They went in at 12:23…it was now 2:30 and Radar had just entered the OR. “Ah Colonel, permission to go pick up new personnel?” “Yah Radar.” Margaret, who was feeling a lot better, was assisting Hawkeye and began to notice he was deathly pale. “Sponge” “What? Oh thanks Mags” “What?” “I said thanks Mags…why what’s wrong?” “You called me Mags…Lorraine and my sister only ever called me that” “You don’t want me to?” “No, I kinda like it” she gave him a reassuring smile under her mask. He could tell and smiled back. “It’ll be okay Hawk…seeing Trapper again.” “Maybe…I haven’t spoken to him in 4 months so I just hope he forgives me for not keeping in better touch.” Margaret knew how anxious he was and was dying to get out of there and talk with him…BEFORE Trapper arrived. “How many more father?” Father Mulcahy had just walked in wanting to know if anyone needed help. “Just the 2…luckily for us the fighting’s moved east so the units there received the brunt of wounded” “Henry, do you mind if you and Major Burns take the last two?” “Sure Major.” “I’ve been working longer than either of them…why should I stay longer?”
Hawkeye already sick of Frank’s bickering and bitching in the OR came to their defence “Because FRANK, you’ve been here, longer and are used to standing longer…besides it’s not like you’ll be there till 1963” “And I’m still feeling a little nauseous” “Well in that case then…” Frank was very attracted to Margaret, and although he was married with 3 daughters, he still wanted her. Margaret knew this, which was a small part of the reason that she was feeling sick. “Do you want me to close for you Hawk?” “If you’re up to it?” “I have closed before” “No, I meant if you’re still feeling sick” “You’re whiter than I am, go get a glass of water and I’ll meet you in the change room okay?” Hawkeye being the man he was had to make a comment about being alone with her “If you’re up for that kind of action, sure!” Frank was disgusted at this, Henry and the nurses snickered at it and Margaret just laughed. “I’ll take a raincheck on it.” “Well…if you’re sure then?” “GO!” Hawkeye exited slowly as he ached all over…although he could stand for several hours…he was very uncomfortable…about the clothes he was wearing and seeing Trapper. Margaret was finished within a few minutes and followed out to where Hawkeye had collapsed. “Well wasn’t that a nightmare?” he said as she took off her gown. “You’re lucky…you didn’t lose your lunch…and you’re not in charge of 8 nurses…all looking up to you.” “Margaret, they understand…you’re just new here…they probably did the same when they first arrived. And even if I had lost my lunch, which is still a possibility, it wouldn’t be from seeing those boys.” “Trapper?” Hawkeye just nodded. “Come on…we’ll talk about it over a drink.” “A drink? Where from?” “Just come with me.” Hawkeye too achy and tired to argue followed Margaret to her tent.
”Scotch okay?” “Great” Margaret – that angel – had brought with her a bottle of scotch before she left Tokyo. “I’m afraid I haven’t got any glasses yet.” “That’s okay…you don’t mind drinking out of it?” “Even if I was…there’s no point in arguing about it…we both want a drink.” AS soon as she’d finished, Hawkeye took a few good gulps of it. “Hey…that’s not very old scotch…you’ll burn your throat if you’re not careful.” “I’ll take my chances. Are you sure you want to hear the rest?” “Yes Hawkeye…I’m sure.” “So anyway, I had intercepted his pass and scored the last points we needed. Androscoggin had finally won a game in 3 matches. So I went to condole Trapper after I overheard a beef he had with his coach…who was a mean old bastard my father knew. Which is exactly why I didn’t go to an Ivy League school. We chatted about this and that…about our love life and all. I found out…” “What, found out what Hawkeye?” “He had 2 daughters…wasn’t married…but he might as well have been. And I was having major commitment troubles with my girlfriend. She wanted to marry and I wasn’t ready…I was still going through med school and couldn’t afford a wife. She was supporting me.”
“Oh Hawkeye” Margaret was fitting the puzzle together as to why it was so hard for Hawkeye to see Trapper again. “So, we go to a bar to talk about it. End up getting drunk…leave at around 2am – together. Anyway, next morning at around 8, I wake up…wondering if Carlye – that was my girlfriend, had come home last night. I looked beside me and saw her there…or what I thought was her. I look again and it’s Trapper of all people. I then had the sudden realisation that more than talking had gone on the previous night. Having one killer of a hangover, I go back to sleep. I wake up again at 11 and there he is…standing there with a cup of coffee for me. Having poured our guts out to each other the previous night, we talked about what happened, he clarified that…more than talking had happened and we came to an arrangement.” Margaret was listening intently to what he was saying…it wasn’t everyday that you got to delve into the mind of someone you liked. “We had decided to be good friends…no…best friends, who occasionally…you know.” “But it became more than that, didn’t it?” “Yeah…I need you to understand Maggie, that I’m not like that way…I’d never done that bef…” “Hawkeye…I know, I understand” “Really?” “I do, you can’t live on army bases your whole life and not see something happen like that.” “I’ve only ever felt this way about Trapper…no other guy…or even girl for that matter.” “You said this way…you’re still in love with him, aren’t you?” “Forever and always.”
“So what happened? Normally people would be happy about seeing their partner.” “Well…about 6 months ago I finally snapped. I hated what I was doing to Louise and his daughters – that’s his girlfriend. They were still dating and all just thought me and Trapper were best friends. I could no longer just play with his daughters or talk to his girlfriend…without having a guilt attack. You have no idea how hard it was sleeping with him one minute, and being a family friend the next. It was killing me. So, 6 months ago…I broke it off. I told him I couldn’t do it anymore. I just…” Hawkeye was on the verge of tears…it was this, the wounded and being in a war all coming out at once. “It’s okay Hawk…you can tell me.” He held back the tears and continued. “I told him I didn’t want this to get to the stage of where Louise found out, and he had to choose. I told him I never wanted to give him the option…he had to choose the girls and that I hoped we could still be friends. He said no…best friends. We hugged on it, I told him I would never forget what we had, and moved back to Maine.” Hawkeye could no longer hold back the emotions.
“Margaret…I never told him I love him.” Just as he had said that, he broke down…letting out all the stress and emotion he’d endured the past 3 years to a woman he had known for less than 7 hours. Margaret wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. She knew how to comfort people…to all her sisters friends and the younger girls on the various army bases she lived, she was their big sister. That’s what made it so hard to leave each time. Just thinking about it brought on tears. Hawkeye had calmed down a bit and realised he wasn’t the only one crying. He looked up and Margaret was silently crying, tears streaming down her face. Suddenly he felt bad about going on about his problems and not listening to hers. He put his hand to her face and pushed a lock of hair out of the way. He moved closer to her as she did the same. They were on the verge of kissing when Attention, would all medical staff meet in the mess tent for a meeting. “Talk about bad timing…are you alright Margaret?” “Not really…how about you?” “Better now…thanks for listening…shall we go?” “How do I look?” “Beautiful” He kissed the top of her head and they headed out towards the mess tent.
“What’s this about Colonel?” Frank whined…he wanted to go to sleep…he’d been on Post Op since last night and he was tired. Having Pierce share his tent was going to be bad enough. “Is everyone here?” When Henry was satisfied that they were, he continued. “Major” he looked towards where Margaret and Hawkeye were standing “I’ve taken the liberty to call this meeting for you to meet with your nurses…I hope your okay with that?” “Yes thank you Colonel”. “Is it necessary for the doctors to be here?” Frank was again whinging…he wanted to sleep before any more wounded came. “No it’s not” Henry really wanted to get back to finishing his fishing ties.
They both exited, leaving Margaret, the nurses and Hawkeye behind. “I hope you don’t mind me staying Margaret?” The dashing young surgeon said, as he became the interest of the nurses around. Did he just call the major MARGARET? No one ever called a superior by their first name. Margaret was a little nervous. This was the first time she was in charge, she was feeling depressed, dirty, as she hadn’t had a chance to freshen up, and was glad for Hawkeye’s presence. “You may stay doctor.” Although she was going to take Lorraine’s advice…she still had to sound a little bit in charge. What was she kidding? “Of course Hawkeye” He was happier with the second answer. “Girls, let me be brutally honest with you…this is my first time in command, so I have no idea of what kind of leader I am. I will however put your minds at ease with something. Yes, I am regular army…on paper. In practise, I don’t care how something is done, as long as it’s done well. This applies to OR, Post Op care and any other duties you are expected to do. I also have a thing about regulations” The nurses were all nervous about having a regular army major in charge, as most of them were draftees. “I can’t stand them.”
The nurses were totally shocked by this. Especially the few regular army girls there were. “I had some advice from a good friend…and I’m taking it. I don’t want to be towering over you every second you’re doing anything. It’s bad enough worrying if you’re going to make it through the night alive. I’m not power hungry like many head nurses I’ve met. I’m in the army for one thing and one thing only…and it’s certainly not the lousy pay.” Some of the nurses chuckled at this. A boss with a sense of humour! “I’m in it to see the world. Not for rules and regulations that take over every minute of the day. I want to be your equal.” What did she just say? Equal? That’s a first many of the nurses thought. “That’s right, forget I’m a major and think of me as just another nurse. And that includes losing the titles. Call me Margaret, please. Major just seems too…” “Tempestuous” “Thank you Hawk. And if you let me, I’ll call you by your names. Which is exactly what makes us…us. If any of you have a problem…not matter how personal or small it may seem and you don’t want to go to Mulcahy, come see me. Any gripes?” “Yeah…why don’t we get our own tents” This sparked a chorus of laughter. The nurses knew that Margaret didn’t want to be a dictator…she was happy just being their friend. “There is one thing that you must remember girls. Although I want to be your equal, you must remember in completing your work, that I am in charge and when I give an order…it must be done to the best of your abilities…any way you can. That understood?” The nurses nod in agreement. “Anything else?” “Yes…Margaret.” “What’s up?” “This goes for all of us…it’s kinda personal, but we all need to hear it.” The nurse looks over toward Hawkeye. “You want me to go? I assure you anything said won’t leave this tent, I give my word” “You can trust him…I do” Margaret flashes him a smile. “Well…you know it gets awful lonely here…and what it says and stuff.” “Lieutenant?” “Baker…Janet” “Janet, girls…whatever you do in private doesn’t concern me. As I said, I can’t stand regulations and as I see it, you can go out with…or sleep with anyone you want.” That last comment was really meant for Hawkeye…and he knew it.
The nurses however, were taken back by her forwardness. “You mean it Margaret?” “Sure I do! Anything else?” “So basically you’re saying, as long as it doesn’t affect our work or hurt others, we can do whatever?” “Why not? But…there is one exception. If we do get – and this is most probable – inspections or annoying visiting generals, please play it by the book. It’ll pain me as much as you…but it will only be for the duration of their stay.” “Yes Margaret” they all reply. Before I dismiss you, I want to get to know you all. Janet Baker, who else?” One by one the nurses say who they are “Samantha Gage” “Lisa Able” “Katie Bigelow” “Maria Schriener” “Kealani Kellye” “Melissa Carson” “Krista Anderson” Margaret flinched at the mention of the last Lieutenant’s name. “And you all know I’m Margaret Houlihan. Before you ask…yes my father’s the infamous Howitzer Al.” “Ahem AHEM” Hawkeye was very unsubtly coughing. “How could I forget, this poor creature here is our new surgeon. Please forgive his coughing…I’ve given him the cold shoulder once or twice.” All but Hawkeye giggle, he knew she was using him for a joke…he’d get her back later. “Or if you’re not little miss puppy-eyed here, the name’s Hawkeye Pierce. If any of you call me captain…you’ll be in for it that night.” He was having fun being flirty with the nurses. They sensed something between him and their new head nurse…but didn’t say anything for fear of starting an argument. They had heard that the new major was known for her tantrums, so they played it safe. “Well in that case CAPTAIN…you’re all excused” Margaret was having fun with him too…she only hoped he wasn’t kidding about that remark…she really wanted to be in for it…that night and the next and the next. From the way they spoke throughout the meeting, you’d never of guessed they were minutes before crying harder than Niagara Falls.
After the nurses had all left to go do whatever, Hawkeye walked up to Margaret and for the second time that day, they wrapped their arms around each other. “Thank you for earlier on Mags…I really needed that.” “Anytime Hawkeye.” “You are the first person I’ve ever told any of that to…the only people who knew about me and Trapper were just us…not even my father knew.” “Well now it’s just you, Trapper and me.” “I like that.” They smiled at each other, for what seemed like forever. Margaret suddenly remembered something Hawkeye had tried to ask her, “You were gonna ask me how far I went in something before we got here…what was it?” Hawkeye now sure that he could talk to her about anything simply answered with a smile “What do you think?” Margaret finally understanding, and sure she could talk to him about what was bothering with her replied “Well…from what I know about you…and what you know about me…it has to be…sex?” “Give the girl a cigar and smoke it!” “I’d prefer a drink” “Me too…let’s go”
So the newly made duo went off to Margaret’s tent…to talk and drink. Hawkeye remembered what happened last time that did…only now, he was sure he wanted it to happen. “So you just have scotch?” “Nope, I have gin too” she said with a smile. “Gin it is then…and afterwards, you can tell me where you stand on the subject of sex”. “Why me?” “Because you know where I stand on it.” “Do I?” she asked as she took a gulp of gin. “Come on…I’m interested.” “You understand that not a word of this can leave this tent?” “Of course. Why don’t we make a vow?” “We’re not married though.” “A vow that whatever said and done in here…stays in here” “What if I move in with you?” she asked slyly. “Then we change it to that tent” “Speaking of such…you haven’t seen it yet.” “What’s to see? It’s just a big green canvas like all the rest…I GOT IT!” he suddenly yelled, having one of his random thoughts. This startled Margaret somewhat, she thought there was something wrong.
“What…what is it Hawk?” “We’ll change it…so it’s not just like all the others…give it a name…besides number whatever it is. Maybe add a…we can add a bar…no…A STILL!” “A distillery?” “Yeah…” “Oooooh that’s sooo unmilitary…what are we waiting for?” “Not before you tell me where you stand though.” “I’m willing to try anything at least once…if I like it…more than once…that’s why I’m a party girl! How about you?” “I agree…anything at least once…so when you said anything…did you really mean anything?” Margaret was beginning to sense he thought she’d done something different…the truth was…she had. “Well…what exactly do you mean?” “If I am totally wrong about this, please don’t bite my head off and think that I’m sick and perverted.” “I wouldn’t do that…what is it that you were thinking?” and again for the second time, they were disrupted by: “Attention, all personnel…sorry to break up the fun, but we’ve got more wounded…teams one two and three on shift.” ”What are we?” ”Has to be one of them, Trapper’s not here yet,” replies Hawkeye. “Don’t think you’re getting out of it” Hawkeye repeated the words she had said not one hour ago. “I wouldn’t think so Hawk.” AS they rushed out, towards the ambulance that was in the compound.
Trapper woke up just before they landed in Kimpo. As he glanced out the window…the scenery was amazing: Hills, hills and MORE hills. He now understood why if they were gonna have a war…it be there. The hills offered protection and there were easy targets in the valleys. Trapper had not uttered a word to anyone besides the two attendants and the barman in Honolulu, and had spent the majority of the time thinking. He continued this as the plane hit the tarmac…quite forcefully; he was thrust forward as the plane came to a halt. AS the marbles in his head stopped rolling, he gathered together all his belongings but those stored underneath and slowly made his way off the plane and onto the tarmac. ‘God that was the worst flight ever,’ he muttered to himself as he walked off, towards where the luggage was being unpacked. Waiting but 5 minutes he heard his name:, “McIntyre, J F X” “Yo” he replied as he gathered together all his luggage, struggling to carry it. Suddenly he heard a young voice say to him “Can I help you with that sir?” There stood a young private, barely 18…probably 16 asking if he needed help. “Yeah thanks kid.”
Unlike Hawkeye, Trapper had listened intently to every word that was said during training…sure he blanked out when they were teaching ‘how to shoot a weapon’, but everything else he heard. Although out of the two Hawkeye was the smart one, Trapper beat him this time round.
“So how old are ya kid?” “18 sir” “When?” “Last month sir.” “Ah ha…” “So do you need a jeep or are you being picked up?” “I’m ‘sposed to be waiting till 43…1630 for someone.” “You a doctor sir?” “Yeah, I don’t look much like a solider eh?” “Nah, you’re too old” “I’M 25!” “Again, you’re too old sir” “I really hate this place.” “You get used to it, I’ve been here 3 days and it hasn’t been so bad. But then again I’m lucky I was assigned here and not on the battle ground.” “Is there somewhere I can wait?” “There’s the officers club” “Nah, I’ve already drunk too much on the way over” “Well…you could always wait outside then?” “Yeah. Here’s a good spot, thanks kid.” “No problem sir.” The private walks away and Trapper sits down on his bags…wondering what the hell was he gonna do for half an hour? He pulled a medical journal out that he was going to read on the plane, he didn’t count on sleeping. So until his ride came, he would read up on the latest skin-graft technique…
