Those at the 4077th were in their 2nd OR session, thankfully less than the first. Margaret kept whatever little she had down and Hawkeye was more assured that he could do this. Frank, however, was still whining about all the noise and unnecessary talking. Hawkeye could see this guy as an easy target for many things…especially practical jokes – which were his favourite. He could also see that Frank didn’t have a friend in the world…which made it so much juicer and easier to prank him. He was thinking back to their first…second conversation in her tent – almost 3 hours ago, not to his problem…but hers. Why was she too crying? Did it have something to do with her friend Lorraine? That’s what he was dying to ask her.
When she told him how much Lorraine means to her…he wondered if there was ever more than just friendship. Like he’d care…he did have a 2 and a half year relationship with Trapper…and they didn’t just play cards the whole time either. “Clamp” he asked the nurse who was assisting. Unhappy that she wasn’t Margaret, who was – by the request of Henry – assisting Frank, who twice already had sewn his glove together. Margaret wasn’t too happy about assisting Frank either. He was making eyes at her, trying to get her attention. She only spoke to him when giving him the instrument he had asked for…quite a few times it was the wrong one and she had to correct him. If another nurse had done that, he would have been angered and yell at her…but seeing that he was mad about the voluptuous new major, he thought he shouldn’t if he wanted a chance with her.
“Hey Able, how many more are there out there?” asked an extremely tired Henry. He was bothered that he hadn’t had a chance to finish tying his fishing lines. “A couple of superficial ones with broken bones and such.” “Can you gals handle it?” “Yeah I think so.” “Henry, why don’t you get some sleep…we’ll finish the rest,” Hawkeye suggested to the overly tired Colonel. “Yeah, I think I may just do that. Well Night all.” “Night Henry/Colonel” They all chimed in as their commander went off to sleep.
“Ah Metzenbaum” asked a nervous Frank. “Wouldn’t you rather a diva-retractor?” “What?” “A diva-retractor, that kind of wound wouldn’t take the pressure on it.” “Ah, yeah, diva-retractor.” Margaret silently prayed that Henry would find a replacement…and soon, one more bungle and she was gonna take over. “I’m finished here, need a hand Frank?” asked an annoyed Hawkeye. The few chances he had to look towards what Frank was doing, he knew that this guy was in idiot…who most defiantly shouldn’t be practising medicine. “No, I’m doing just fine.” “Yeah…he’s only stitched his glove together 3 times” Margaret blurted out. “There see, I’m finished.” Hawkeye went to take a look. “Great stitching Mags.” “How did you know?” “I recognise your handiwork anywhere.” They smiled at each other…they were going to make a great team…in all kinds of weather. Frank stomped out in a huff…as much as he liked Margaret, she was still a nurse…and Pierce was only a captain. “Give him a smooooooth ride boys” Hawkeye told the corpsmen. “Yes sir” They replied. “And it’s Hawkeye, not sir.” He hated the word ‘sir’…he refused to call any of his teachers or professors that.
They walked towards the change room to get out of their scrubs. “Are you up to continuing Mags?” “Yeah…but first, let’s go explore your tent…what are calling it again?” “I was going to use ‘Latrine’, but that’s taken. I’ll think of something” “And if not, Trapper can always help.” God Trapper will be here in…an hour! Oh God…help me. “Or we can work on how you’re gonna see Trapper again?” Hawkeye thought about this…No. Trapper was his problem and he would figure it out when he saw him. “No, I wanna do this myself.” “Sure Hawkeye” Margaret answered, as they made their way towards tent number…’6’, they read on the door. Upon opening it they discovered Frank inside writing frantically to someone. “You know, Freud once said that this kind of behaviour is caused by some sort of stress disorder” “Or jealousy?” “Touché Major” “Buzz off buttinski.” “How dare you say that in front of a lady!” Hawkeye said in a mocking tone. “Oh I’m sorry Major.” Frank was trying his damndest to get into her good books…not to mention her pants. Margaret found this both amusing and sick at the same time. “No trouble Major. Hawk…we really need to decorate this place” “We? When did my place become a ‘we’?” He was just teasing her…and hopefully at the same time would get to Frank too. “Well…what if I decide to drop in for a visit, and all I see is…this? It needs the touch of…” “A woman?” “I was gonna say fun.” “So you gonna help me build the you know what?” “Only if you lead…I wouldn’t know the first thing about how to build one.”
They both knew they were ignoring Frank, because they were purposely doing so. Margaret was hoping that when Frank found out about the still that was going to be placed there in less than a week, he would refuse and she could compromise by giving him her tent…without her in it of course, and moving into tent 6…with the guys. The other reason for this was because she knew how nervous Hawkeye would be around Trapper and from what she knew about him, Trapper would be just as bad. If Frank ever found out…he’d be screaming all the way to Washington and then some. She wanted to avoid that if possible. She liked Hawkeye too much, and although she had never met him, Trapper intrigued her. “Build what…what are you going to build?” Frank wanted in on the conversation. He disliked Pierce more every minute, but he wanted to get to know a real army person. Boy was he in for a shock! “A distillery major,” was all Margaret replied. “You know…the fountain of life, nectar of the gods, mothers milk” Frank still wasn’t getting it. “Gin” NOW he understood. “I’m afraid you can’t captain, that’s not regulations.” Margaret was plenty peeved about him immediately attacking Hawkeye when she was the one who informed him, “So? The only place to get a drink around here is Henry’s office. And he doesn’t have that much.” “But it’s still not military. I am second in command and I say no” “Well…we’ll just see what Henry has to say then,” Margaret said with aggravation in her tone. Then she added, “And if you don’t like it, then we’ll swap tents.” Frank had never heard of such a thing. A female officer sharing with two male officers, one of whom none of them have ever met (or so he thought), and the other a complete disgrace to everything. “You…you can’t be serious major. Besides, it’s not regulations.” “Major, NOTHING around here is regulation. The CO isn’t, the doctors aren’t”, the nurses aren’t, I’m quite sure the enlisted aren’t. The only person who is…is you.” Hawkeye wasn’t sure what to think. Here he’d have the woman of his dreams…and the man of his dreams in the SAME TENT! “Are you sure Margaret?” “There would be a divider of course” and then she whispered “But not all the time.” Hawkeye was easing up about this. “Suits me fine…Frank?” “I’m going to see what the colonel has to say!” and he stormed off towards Henry’s tent. “Should we help him…Henry I mean?” “Present our argument at the same time.” They agreed and hurried off after Frank.
Radar was on his way towards Kimpo for the second time that day. The ride usually took him 2 hours…but on his way to pick up the captain, good old American know-how kicked in and the jeep blew a tyre. Radar had struggled for almost 30 minutes, trying to get the tyre fixed. Back home, his Ma always changed the tyres and he never could figure out how. Luckily for him, an infantry unit – an American infantry unit came down the road and they offered to help. Radar was thankful and drove away, being careful not to speed…but to do that in an army jeep, would be a miracle. Radar arrived almost an hour late to pick up the captain. Who after waiting an extra 20 minutes, decided that maybe another drink wouldn’t hurt.
Trapper had been in there for close to 40 minutes, slowly sipping drinks so not to get drunk. He didn’t want to have his guard down if he was needed in surgery. The whole time waiting was spent writing to his daughters, Louise, and his 2 siblings who were (thankfully) both too young to be drafted.
Radar pulled up outside the Officers Club, guessing that the captain would be in there. Now being a corporal – an enlisted man, he couldn’t go inside. This left him with a bit of a predicament. If he went in, he would be in trouble, if he didn’t pick up the captain, he would be in trouble. It wasn’t until he spotted a nearby lieutenant that his problem was solved. “Um excuse me m’am” he asked the lieutenant. “Yes corporal” she replied kindly. “Uh I was wondering if you could do something for me, seeing that you’re an officer.” “It depends what it is?” “I gotta pick up a captain, and I think he’s in the officers club. And I can’t go in, seeing that I’m a corporal and all.” “Sure thing, what’s the captain’s name?” “Uh Capt’n McIntyre.” “No problem” “Thanks m’am.” She smiled and headed for the officer’s club, in search of a captain McIntyre.
Trapper was sitting down nursing his 3rd scotch and soda, when he thought he heard his name. “Is there a Captain McIntyre in here?” Trapper jumped up at the sound of his name…by a female and all. “Yeah” He came closer to her, showing himself. “Your ride is here…I’m just the messenger,” She gave him a smile, knowing just what he was thinking. “Oh” was all Trapper could say. “You need a hand?” asked the woman “Uh yeah, thanks.” She lead him out towards the jeep where Radar was waiting. “I found him for you corporal.” “Thanks again m’am” “Anytime.” She flashed them both a warm smile and walked back to where she was before.
Before him, stood a kid about 5”4’ and even younger looking than the previous one he’d met. “Let me get that for you sir,” asked the anxious Radar. He was after all an hour late. “And I’m sorry about the lateness, I had a flat and all.” Trapper grinned at him “That’s okay kid, I guess I wasn’t missing much huh?” “No not really. Oh I’m Corporal Radar O’Reilly Company Clerk.” “Well in that case, you can call me Trapper.” “Wow, 3 officers in one day” “What was that?” “Oh, I was here before today, picking up two officers. A surgeon and our head nurse. They both insisted that I call them by their first name. Only the doctor’s one was stranger than yours. Whoever heard of someone called Hawkeye before?” Trapper’s heart nearly leaped out his throat. “What was that name again Radar?” “Hawkeye?” Oh God…It’s him! Now calm down…maybe there was 2 Hawkeye’s that were surgeons. It wasn’t that impossible. “What’s his last name?” Trapper wanted to make sure. “Uh capt’n Pierce.” HOLY SHIT, IT IS HIM! Okay, maybe he doesn’t know you’re coming. “Does he know who I am…I mean does he know I’m coming?” “Yeah, both him and the Major I picked up too.”
“Major?” asked a confused Trapper. “Yeah, our new head nurse. She’s really pretty and Hawkeye thought that too.” Trapper was nearly hysterical. There, not a few hours away was his ex-lover and best friend, and his possible new love interest. Oh God what was he going to say to him? Okay Trapp…he knows you’re coming so he’ll be talking the most. A thought suddenly occurred to him as they got in and Radar revved the engine. “What’s the major’s name?” “Major Houlihan? Uh Margaret” “Is she any good?” “Well…she’s real nice for a regular army person.” “She’s regular army?” “By name only…she’s more like Hawkeye.” Each time his name was mentioned, Trapper tensed up. Radar put his foot to the floor as they drove off, towards the 4077th…towards Hawkeye and his ‘girlfriend’. “How about in surgery?” “Uh, I’m not sure. Although she’s gotta be better than Major Burns. Talk about regular army.” “There’s 2 of them?” “No, he was drafted…he’s more regulation than Margaret is.” “I take it he’s a doctor?” “From what colonel Blake says…only on paper.” “That bad eh?” “I overheard Hawkeye say he couldn’t cut a salami without committing malpractice.” Trapper chuckled at that…Sounds like Hawk. “So uh sir…do you know Hawkeye?” “You could say that,” Trapper gave a forced smile. How was he to tell a kid, barely 18 what he and Hawkeye really are…what they really were?
“So what’s our CO like?” Trapper asked changing the topic. “Colonel Blake? He’s real swell.” “Not regular army then?” “Oh no…he was drafted and as he said would rather be home with his wife and 2 and a half kids.” “2 and a half?” asks a confused Trapper. “Yeah, his wife’s pregnant with their 3rd kid.” God that must be really hard for him. Becky and Kathy were 7 and 5 and it was hard enough saying goodbye to them…but leaving a kid you’ve never met? Boy he must be going out of his mind with worry. Along the 2-hour journey back, Radar and Trapper discussed their lives back in America, and Radar told him all about the people at the 4077th. All the while Trapper had Hawkeye in his mind. Had he changed over 6 months? Did he look different? He was also trying to pick what this ‘Margaret’ looked like. Radar described her as a pretty tall-ish* blonde, with ice-blue eyes and a nice smile. Trapper could understand why Hawkeye was attracted to her. He did – after all – prefer blondes. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy as Radar was describing her, but at the same time was also interested in what she was like. He thought she sounded gorgeous, and when he met her, would probably agree with this.
If that wasn’t a sign of things to come…then I don’t know what the hell, is!
“Where the hell are they?” asked an extremely nervous Hawkeye. No one had been able to find the colonel. He wasn’t in his tent…or his office. They had looked in supply, Pre and Post Op, The OR, the showers, the latrine, even the mess tent…but no one could find him. Funny how no one went to look for him by the River?
“Calm down Hawk,” Margaret urged him…They were standing in the compound…well, Hawkeye was wearing a hole in Korea, pacing back and fourth, and Margaret had sat down on a nearby crate. Neither of them had continued their previous conversation…that could wait. “I can’t…you know this is very difficult for me ya know?” He was being snappy. He didn’t mean it to be directed towards Margaret. “You don’t have to get your shorts in a knot Hawk…I do actually know what you’re going through.” “What? How?” NOW he was going to get some answers about what was between her and Lorraine. “Well…I know we’re not in my tent, but this must not be said to another soul.” “I promise, okay…what is it?” “Well…you know my friend Lorraine?”
“By name yeah” “Well, at one stage we were…more than just friends.” Hawkeye smiled at hearing this…he wasn’t the only one here who knew how it felt. “What are you smiling at?” “I thought there was something about her.” “When I said more…I meant more like a fling…we were never that serious…not like you and…” she cut herself off before finishing her sentence. “It’s okay Mags, you can say me and Trapper…go one, you weren’t serious?” “Well…it started when we were in grade 11…we were both 17 and we had been friends for years. When we were 15, we pierced our ears and melted our dad’s medals to make earrings.” Hawkeye looked at her ears…sure enough they were pierced. “I had them done again…us amateurs weren’t that great and they became infected and closed up. Anyway…I really can’t remember how it started…one minute we were doing trigonometry, and the next we were kissing, hands roaming all over the place.” Margaret closed her eyes at the memory of that day.
“You were 17?” Hawkeye interrupted her. “Yeah…we were both really confused…we thought there was something wrong with us. My sister Lizzy thinks my first sexual experience was 19…I never told anyone that they were off by a year.” “Until now?” “Yeah. So, this continued on an irregular basis for about 2 years…that’s why I guess I didn’t have sex until I was 19. Then one day…we just stopped. It didn’t seem right anymore. It felt uncomfortable kissing your best friend, and then going to class and pretending that you were interested in the guy next to you so no one could guess what was really going on…than again, you know exactly how that feels don’t you?” “Oh yeah.” Hawkeye gave her a reassuring smile and urged her to continue. “It wasn’t her that ended it or me…we both felt it couldn’t continue…we just didn’t want it to. I guess that’s where it’s different from you.” “I had to stop for other people…you had to stop for yourselves.” “Exactly. A week after we stopped I went out with this guy…Jack I think his name was and…yeah…my 2nd partner, but first boyfriend. We didn’t speak to each other for almost a year…she moved away to Oregon and I stayed in Georgia. That was the worst time in my life. I had to say goodbye to her…like I had so to every other friend I’ve ever had.” Margaret’s eyes were filled with tears and they finally spilled over. Hawkeye walked over and scoped her up into a secure, warm, loving hug. He now…after 5 hours, knew why she had been crying.
It seemed strange to both of them that they were so close to one another. They had met only that day, at 9am, had a few drinks, met their camp, poured their hearts out to one another about their lives, operated on terribly wounded kids and had a few more drinks…and it was only 7:15pm…not yet half a day, and they were caring for each other like they’d been close friends for years. But then again…they were in a war.
After a few minutes, Margaret had settled down enough to continue. “Then in July, 1946, I got a call from her, asking did she want to catch up. It turns out that we missed each other as much as the other did. We both agreed to stop fooling around…but not to stop being best friends. So that weekend, she flew out to Georgia…and ended up staying there until we were asked if we wanted to go to Tokyo.” “You two lived together?” “Yeah, she rented a small place just off the base and asked me if I wanted to move in too. I moved in with her July 30th 1947.” “That’s creepy” Hawkeye let out. “Why?” asks Margaret, puzzled by what he said “That’s the day me and Trapper got together…we’d met the day before and decided then, what we would be. Did you ever have those feelings again?” “Once or twice when she walked through only in a towel…but I always remembered that last awkward kiss and they soon disappeared. I never thought of myself as being homosexual…like you with Trapper never felt…as you said, it was the person inside…not their sex that mattered.” “I said that?” he couldn’t remember himself saying it. “In not so many words, yeah.”
“Probably…I’ve said a lot today.” “So tell me about Trapper…what he looks like…who he is.” Hawkeye smiled at her interest in him. “Trapp’s the greatest…” Hawkeye continued to tell Margaret what Trapper was like. He was tall…taller than him at 6”4’, curly dark blonde hair, dark brown eyes, muscular, but not huge…medium build at most…more so than he was. He had a great sense of humour, and was one helluva practical joker. He wasn’t too bad at football either. He was one of the nicest, most kindest men he had ever met. They moved in 8 months before they split…both being unable to stay apart for long, and both willing to commute the long distances to where they were studying…at that stage they only had 6 months to go and didn’t know that they would be splitting in a mere 2 months. He told her about his ‘nieces’ Becky and Kathy. Becky was a lot like Trapper…blonde hair, tallness, a sharp wit…but with blue eyes and dead straight hair. Kathy was like her mother…brown hair, brown eyes…same thin build with a snappy temperament. She did, however, inherit Trapper’s curly hair. He described Louise…Trapper’s girlfriend. At this stage, Hawkeye just thought they were still dating…he didn’t know they had been split up for almost 4 months. Louise was quite attractive. Shorter than Margaret with sky blue eyes – a shade between his and Margaret’s, and straight brown hair that was almost always let down when he saw her. She was snappy, but besides that she was really nice. He went on to say that was probably the worse thing about being with Trapper. To see their faces when they had only just been at home…making nice with one another.
Margaret listened intently to all this. Hawkeye still had his arms around her as they had moved into tent number 6…which still didn’t have a name. Frank had (thankfully) gone on searching for the Colonel…who was still fishing in the river. Margaret was fascinated by what he was saying and how their relationship grew. Hawkeye had just finished what he was saying as they heard a chatty Frank bickering to a VERY annoyed Henry about proper army protocol. Henry simply told him to write it down and put it on his desk for him to read…he really wasn’t in the mood for dealing with Frank at the moment. Hawkeye and Margaret –who hadn’t had the time or the want to change – exited the Swamp and headed over to where Henry had just gotten rid of Frank.
“I see he found you Henry” “Gee whillickers, you wouldn’t believe the rot that comes out of that mans mouth.” “I wouldn’t be surprised Henry” Margaret remarked, “I’ve operated with the man and believe me…the ox I saw driving in here can operate better than him. Asking for a scalpel when he wanted to cut tissue, closing a chest wound with 3.0 instead of 4.0 silk. That man’s an absolute idiot.” “Yeah, I was trying all day yesterday to get us a replacement…they said they’d try their best and would get back to me.” Margaret just laughed at what Henry had said. “Why is that so funny Mags?” asked a disturbed Hawkeye. Had she finally snapped? “Henry, I’ve been in the army almost 7 years…when they say ‘Ill get back to you’, that really means ‘There’s no way in hell I’m doing anything, go annoy someone else.’” “Ah great…so you’re telling me we’re stuck with doctor butterfingers there?” “Unless he’s approved medically insane.” Hawkeye suppressed a laugh at that idea “You know, that’s not such a bad idea.” The three of them hollered in laughter, causing the whole camp to wonder what was going on? “I’ll work on it, thanks guys…I needed that” “No problem Henry” They both answered. Henry excused himself and went to his tent to drop off his fishing gear and change into dry clothes. Frank had startled him when he came barging towards him and he fell into the water.
Just then they heard a jeep coming towards the camp. ‘That must be Trapper’, Hawkeye thought as he reverted back to his nervous state. “It’ll be okay Hawkeye…come on, let’s go see him…I wanna met the guy of your dreams” “A regular comedian you are aren’t ya?” “I like to think so CAPTAIN!” She still hadn’t forgotten what he had said…and if she could convince Henry into switching with Frank…she would be one step closer to him, ‘but Trapper was going to live in there too. He could join in! What the hell? Margaret Houlihan…did you just think what you thought you did?’ A smile crept over her face as she thought of what she had told herself…’hmmm…my very first threesome? Wouldn’t that be interesting?’ Now when Margaret had told Hawkeye that she was a party girl…that was wrong. By the many guys she hung out with…a wild girl was more her style. She could suggest it to him later…maybe. “What are you smiling at?” Not wanting to put her foot in her mouth “I’ll tell you later Hawk.” “Knowing you, it’s probably something dirty.” “Me? Never!” Sensing Hawkeye was still anxious she reassured him “Hawk…it will be fine…if you want to just be friends…you can be.” Margaret felt that as soon as he saw Trapper, he would no longer fancy her. She didn’t want that…her previous idea was beginning to intrigue her even more. It would suit her fine, and Hawkeye would probably enjoy it too, and Trapper from what she had heard, probably wouldn’t object to the idea either…hopefully he was all Hawkeye had said he was…and more!
At each turn of the wheel, Hawkeye was tensing up…not sure to be happy he was here or what? Margaret’s reassuring words gave some comfort to him…but he was still a little nervous.
“There it is, up ahead” Radar pointed out the camp, as he had to Hawk and Margaret just a few hours earlier. “That’s it?” asked an unimpressed Trapper. “You think it’s bad now…try sleeping on a thin mattress for a few nights, that’s the worst part.” “I think I’m gonna hate it here.” Trapper was also nervous about seeing Hawkeye again. He hoped that they could again be more than friends…he was no longer with Louise and Hawkeye didn’t know that yet…only this mysterious gorgeous blonde ‘Margaret’ stood in their way. They had just entered the camp, Trapper looked around, hoping to spot that familiar face…as the drove towards a large white building…he did.
Hawkeye was watching the jeep enter the camp and at a fair speed, coming towards them. He had just been spotted…he saw Trapper looking directly into his eyes…those familiar brown eyes he remembered him having…he looked good in a uniform too…
Trapper had spotted Hawkeye, standing beside a woman who had to be the famous ‘Margaret.’ He looked straight into his eyes. Yep, they were still that magical shade of blue that he had not seen another person possess. Form the looks of it, he hadn’t changed in a while either. He then looked at the blonde standing beside him…she did have ice blue eyes…just as amazing as Hawk’s were…she was what Radar had said ‘Real Pretty’, and even more so…
Margaret was looking directly at the new captain. Hawkeye’s description was spot on. He had the darkest blonde curly hair and the brownest puppy-dog eyes and he was a little on the muscular side…she would have trouble deciding who she liked better…ah well…hopefully she would have her way with both of them…and she did mean that with both intentions.
The jeep pulled up in front of the large white building…in front of a waiting Hawkeye and Margaret. Radar got out of the jeep and grabbed Trapper’s bags sensing that Margaret was the only person actually there, “Uh Margaret…would you mind showing the capt’n to the Colonel’s office?” Margaret thought she heard something…it was Radar. “Uh yeah sure Radar.” She was mesmerised by the sight in front of her. Trapper was still in the jeep, frozen, his eyes locked on the two people in front of him ‘God did Hawkeye good…Margaret’s quite hot too…’ he thought to himself. He suddenly realised they’d stopped, so he climbed out of the jeep. ‘There he was…Trapper…just feet away from me…God what do I do now?’ Hawkeye did what he had done the day they had said goodbye, he stepped forward and pulled Trapper into a friendly embrace.
To those who didn’t know about their past…you would think it was just a friendly ‘hello’ hug. Margaret who did know what went on could tell it was more.
“So what does a guy have to do to get a drink around here?” was all Trapper said. Hawkeye and Margaret laughed at this as the two men hugged again. “How’ve ya been Trapp?” “Not too bad…until my presence was requested here.” “I prefer invited…but either way.” They both had silly grins on their faces. None of them, Not Hawkeye, Trapper or even Margaret had expected this. There was little if no awkwardness; in fact it was a warm, friendly situation. “Where are my manners? Trapp…this is Mags, Mags, Trapper.” “So you’re the infamous Margaret?” “Or Maggie or Mags as our hero here calls me. Never major…blech.” Trapper laughed at this. “And you would have to be Trapper” “Do I have to be?” “I’m not gonna call you John if that’s what you’re after.” Hawkeye replied. “Trapper it is then. From what Radar’s told me about you Maggie, I feel I know you more than myself.” “Well Hawk here has been filling me in on everything about you too…and may I say WOW!” ‘What in the hell did he tell her?’ Hawkeye could sense what Trapper was thinking…he wasn’t hard to read. “Mags can we have a second please?” “Sure, I’ll go tell Henry you’re here then?” She walked off before either of them could reply…not that they would.
“Hawk…what have you told her?” “Before I say anything…don’t get angry. Margaret’s a fantastic person…the female version of us. If you must know…she knows everything.” “EVERYTHING? Hawk…why would you tell someone you hardly know about us?” “Trapp, first off…I’m not ashamed of anything we did…secondly, I trust Margaret. Sure I’ve known her since 9 o’clock this morning…but she wouldn’t say anything…thirdly…I had to tell someone when I leaned you were coming. I needed to confide in someone so I wouldn’t crack up. And Finally…Margaret has a few skeletons in her closet too. I can’t say what…she’ll have to tell you. Are you angry?” “Nah…buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.”
The two men smiled at each other just as Henry came out with Margaret to greet their new surgeon. “Capt’n McIntyre, I’m Colonel Blake…call me Henry” “In that case Henry, call me Trapper.” The two men shook hands. “I heard you knew Hawkeye when you both had your freedom?” “That’s right…we knew each other from a football match.” The two men exchanged glances, which went unnoticed by Henry. “So you wanna drink?” “I’ve wanted a drink since my last scotch and soda, 2 hours ago.” The two men enter Henry’s office as Hawkeye pulls Margaret aside “I told him you know everything.” “How’d he take it?” “Great…I gotta buy him a drink, that’s all.” They both laughed at this as they followed the two inside. “Scotch, rye, sherry, brandy…” “Got any gin?” “Gin it is then.” “I see Trapper has you’re taste in alcohol then Hawk?” remarked Margaret hoping to break the ice. “Let’s just say he got me into it.” Trapper knew she was trying to be friendly…he liked her already and hoped that Hawk hadn’t already grabbed her. They all sat down in chairs as they sipped their drinks.
“So you been shown around then Trapper?” asked Henry. “Not yet…Radar blew a tyre on his way, that’s why we’re, late.” “Ah don’t worry ‘bout it…I got in some fishing waiting.” Trapper liked his new CO too. He only hoped the rest of the camp was this friendly. Radar had told him on the way to the camp that he had to be careful of one idiot in particular ‘Frank Burns’ he thought Radar called him.
“So what’s with this Burns character I’ve been warned about?” “Frank Burns…a regular pain in the ass…and I’ve been here less than 8 hours.” “I’d have to agree with Hawkeye here, Frank’s a lousy surgeon, a lousy human being, inhumane, arrogant, pigheaded” “A real creep” added Margaret as she remembers his attempts at wooing her. “He’s tried to pick up Mags here a few times.” “And I take it you didn’t appreciate it?” “Not one bit. The only thing he’s any good at is being militarily correct.” “Radar did say he was a bit gung-ho.” Henry nearly spat his drink out. ”A bit? Macarthur’s less military minded than Frank Burns is.” “Lousy surgeon did you say?” “I assisted him today and he not only stitched his glove together 3 times, but asked for the wrong instruments numerous times and if any other nurse pointed that out, he bit their head off.”
“And HQ’s not budging with a replacement either” added Henry. “And it get’s worse Trapp…guess who we’re bunking with?” “No way. I haven’t met the guy yet, but already I hate him.” “We may just have the answer to that Trapper.” Margaret stated. “Colonel, would it be possible to swap Major Burns with someone?” “Well sure, but who?” “I’d be willing to swap if it’d save the guys here from him?” Trapper was gob-smacked at what Margaret had just said. Move in with them? “I don’t know Margaret…what if a general stops in for a friendly visit?” “Could we get a divider? All we’d need is some wire and a couple of blankets or canvas?” “I don’t see why not…you guys okay with that?” “Okay? Henry…it would be a dream to share my tent with such a gorgeous woman like Margaret…Trapp?” “I guess it’s okay with me…if you get sick of Hawk here…you can always share my bed?” Margaret was “overjoyed when she heard what Trapper had just said…her plan may work after all! ”I’ll let you know Trapp” she replied with a cheeky smile. “Another thing Henry…can we have a still?” “A still?” asked Trapper. “Well…I don’t see why not. The only alcohol in camp is locked in here. I did hear a couple of the enlisted say that there was a bar just outside that was run by one of the LIP’s. Sure, go ahead. Well if that’s all…I guess you can go” “That’s all.” Margaret quickly said as she pulled the two guys out of the office.
Hawkeye put one arm over Margaret and the other over Trapper. “Well kids…what are we gonna christen our crib?” “Let’s get me moved in and we’ll see then.” They went over towards Margaret’s tent and grabbed all her belongings and brought them home to tent number six. “So this is it?” asked a bemused Trapper. “Kinda reminds me of a swamp we had back home…all the green and brown together.” “THAT’S PERFECT!” screamed Margaret. “What is ?” the two startled surgeons asked. “What er should name this place…” The two of them thought their new female companion had gone mad. “The Swamp?” “That is perfect…Trapp?” “Sounds great to me…we’ll need some paint…we gotta let people know what this place is after all…”
Suddenly Frank burst into the tent upon hearing they had a new surgeon. “Ah Frank…just in time for the eviction” remarked a delighted Hawkeye. “What?” Frank didn’t know what was happening. “The eviction. Henry said I could move in…that means you got a tent all to yourself Frank.” Margaret hoped that the ‘surgeon’ would get it through his thick skull. “Oh” was all Frank could say. “Trapp…Frank” Hawkeye made the introduction as short as possible. “So were you on staff somewhere?” asked Frank, hoping that he could get at least one GI person. “I had just started my residency.” Trapper could see why they hated the guy so much. “In fact, I started the same time Hawk did.” Frank’s expression dropped. “So you two know each other?” he said in an almost disbelieved voice. “Yeah, we’re old friends.” Hawkeye gave Trapper a warm smile. Frank knew he was beat. Oh well…if he couldn’t win this…he at least could have fun bossing the enlisted about. “I’ll just be going then.” “Ah major…before you forget. There’s the small matter of removing your belongings?” Margaret wanted him out of there as soon as possible. As they say, two’s company, three’s a party, four’s a drag…or so she thought. “We’ll even help you Frank,” Hawkeye offered, not out of kindness…but just to get rid of him. Frank gave a goofy grin “Well in that case…” It took them all of 3 minutes to get his junk out of there and into Margaret’s former tent. “Well that’s got rid of him then.” Margaret smiled as they made their way back inside ‘The Swamp.’
Later after it got dark, the three of them headed over towards the mess tent. They wanted to get to know everyone, so as Trapper was the last to arrive, they joined all the tables and talked to everyone around them…that is everyone except Frank, who had quickly finished his meal and ran off towards Post Op.
Margaret was sitting between ‘the boys’, and talking with Katie (Bigelow) and Kealani (Kellye) over the table, about their lives before the war. She wanted to get to know all the nurses so they would hopefully feel a little more comfortable around her. So far, she had learned that Katie was a few years older than her, and was working at the end of World War 2. Between wars, she worked in Chicago. Kealani however, was a native Hawaiian who hadn’t been home in nearly 4 years…at least she had a place to call home. She worked in the Sacred Heart hospital in Wisconsin and was 2 years younger than she was.
Trapper was chatting with Father Mulcahy on his right, about sports. It turns out that the padre is quite the boxer, and he used to teach young boys how to box. Trapper talked with him on the latest baseball scores…Being a die-hard red sox fan, he always rooted for them. The padre from Pennsylvania, rooted for the Phillies, and they started a great discussion on who would win the pennant that year.
Hawkeye was deep in conversation with Radar and a strange character by the name of ‘Klinger’. Now it wasn’t his name that made him strange…but by what he was wearing. A floor length, light pink evening gown, fur trimmings, white gloves, purse, shoes, earrings and tiara to match. Out of all the useless information Hawkeye hadn’t listened to…anything with the word ‘discharge’ caught his attention. He soon learned that Klinger was bucking for a section-8…stating that he was mentally incapable for any military work, and would be sent home after the right signature from a certain CO. Henry would have loved to give the guy his ticket home…but his many attempts would hopefully boost morale and what would be the worst time in their lives. Their latest discussion was on what would go with a blue chiffon…pearls or diamonds?
Dinner wrapped up at around 10:30pm and they all headed to bed. Henry, Able and Gage were on Post Op, which gave everyone else, some much-deserved rest
…until they were woken at 11…not that everyone was asleep then.
