6:30am! Time to get up I think, I slept way too long.
Nice shower, big enough for two…this house really fits his personality. Mine’s just a shabby old studio dad helps pay for.
Maybe I should move up here…certainly is nicer than New York. Quieter, cleaner, calmer, Hawkeye…beach, houses, people, Hawkeye…
Get a grip Margaret. Even if he was interested he’s literally playing doctor, and doctor patient relations have a line.
This hot water is sooooo good. Whoa, don’t pass out, it would not look good, not even for me.
What to wear? More importantly how cold is it outside?
Brrr that window’s cold. Long pants…if I can find any.
“Margaret” “Shit you scared me.” “What are you doing up?” “I’m an early riser, you of all people should know that. I could ask what are you doing up?” “I’ve been up for hours. Just some paperwork and thinking…” “When everyone else is asleep naturally.” “Which is why I live alone. You want anything?” “Yeah, clothes that will fit. I’m surprised you haven’t said anything about that yet…I am just in a towel if you hadn’t noticed.” “How could I not? It’s too early for an argument.”
Never stopped you before.
“I’ll look around, see if I have anything…” “Why would you have anything?” “I have a lot of family stay every once in a while…they always manage to leave at least a basket load of clothes behind.” “Any of it small enough?” “Yeah I think so, come here, you’re turning blue.” “Who wouldn’t in this arctic blast. If this is summer…I’d hate to see winter.” “It’s not that cold…you’ve just lost some of the ability to warm up…it’s called a consequence of not eating.”
Oh now look who’s starting the fight.
“Here, found a spare robe a while ago…at least it’s warm. Why again exactly are you up?” “I told you early riser…” “Not for any other reason then?” “With early risers a 2 mile run usually comes with it.” “2 miles? I don’t think I’ve ever run that in my life.” “So? Doesn’t mean I can’t.” “What? I never said that.” “But that’s what you were implying.” “How could I imply something if I never knew what that something was?” “Don’t be an idiot.” “Don’t be so argumentative then.” “Look do you have anything or not?”
What is his fucking problem?
“Only if you eat something.” “When was that part of the deal.” “I just said so.” “Since when did you become my father?” “When he became too damn blind to see his oldest daughter was sick.” “Don’t threaten me buddy.” “Oh? I may not want to put you in hospital…but it doesn’t mean I won’t.” “Oh yeah?” “YEAH!”
He’s such a…argh! I don’t even know what he is. Bastard.
“I’m doing this the tough way. You’re GOING to eat, you’re GOING to get better, whether the hell you like it or not.” “You know what…fuck you, I don’t need your help.” “Clearly you do, it wasn’t a day ago when you were screaming and crying for me to help. Even Hotlips isn’t that crazy.” “I’m going back to bed.” “Fine with me.” “Screw you Hawkeye.” “Right back at you MAJOR.”
OH! That arrogant prick of a man.
“Looks like she’s coming around”
“About time too…that whole beach thing was making me sick.”
“Don’t I know it…welcome back Maggie.”
You two can just piss off too.
“Hello, Trapper…Yeah I know the time, sorry to wake you but…You have? That’s great…A while after you left…screaming and yelling and swearing…yeah from Hotlips, it got better, we talked…good yesterday, not today…Just woke up in a shit of a mood…no, not yet…I know, she’s gotta eat…her last words I think were screw you Hawkeye…oh yeah…I told her right back at you or something…it’s just really hard, one minute she’s one person and the next she’s entirely different…Yeah BJ’s still asleep…back in her room sulking…I just needed to hear a friendly voice…this whole thing is just racking my brain totally. I mean this is Margaret Houlihan we’re talking about, She would never let herself get like this…she told me when I went and got her that history repeats itself…she’s really scaring me…I’ve never had to deal with anything like this…even with that kid at Halloween I told you about…How can you help someone you love if most of the time they aren’t who you love…I’m not talking about Hotlips or Major or any of them…she’s like a phantom, and not just the whole really pale complexion either…I’m just really scared what will happen if we can’t help her…how can you be sure? She’s so damn stubborn…All I found out yesterday was she regrets not living her life and that Margaret never came back from Korea…What you know her as and what Charles knows her as are two completely different people…I was the only one who knows what she was like beginning to end…the differences are mind boggling…No, I’ve never seen her as she is now…I also found out she did it in Korea…nothing forcefully she said but I don’t know what to believe…Yeah, okay…just find out what you can…I’ll call her dad, hopefully he won’t tear me apart…yeah, maybe I should ring Lorraine again…she’s still in the army…ah I think she’s in Georgia now…no, I don’t want her up here just yet…yes she’s seen it before…just this is worse and I’m afraid she’ll freak out…hey I’m even freaking out…Okay I’ll see you on Monday then…yeah tell Charles…okay Trapp, thanks…bye.”
Great – now Trapper thinks I’m a total wacko.
What does he want now?
“Margaret.” “What do you want?” “Go for a run, do whatever. This is your last chance to.” “Yes DAD.” “Stuff’s in the study, go see what you can find out of it. Beach goes for about half a mile south til you hit rocks, and about a quarter of a mile north til you hit private land. I’m going back to bed for a few hours. Don’t try and run away please.” “Why would I?” “I give up!”
Save us ALL a shit load of trouble.
Study study. Lots of photos. Hmmm, his dad was quite the hottie when he was younger. His mother’s quite pretty too. He’s got her eyes. Is that…oh my God it is! Hawk sure was a cute kid…just look at that lil’ sailor suit!
Diplomas galore…Androscoggin…no Ivy League then? God he looks the same at his graduation as he did when he came. May 29th…God that was a month before he was drafted! This is ridiculous…they’ve just finished destroying lives and are starting again…I’m certainly never voting Republican as long as I live…He’s got quite a few books…Last of the Mohicans – naturally. Psychiatry, psychiatry, psychiatry, he’s not seriously thinking of giving up operating? Finally, some medical books.
What’s this?
‘Dr Pierce, thanks for everything you did to help me. I hope that when I’m gone, you’ll remember me and with that, the many lives you saved and the few you brought back. Don’t think about the negative, War kills, but not me. Remember, you’ve done a lot of good and will continue for years…thanks again for everything. Gary Sturgis’
Leukaemia, a real bitch but at least it’s an end.
‘Hawkeye, I don’t know what you wrote to Ronnie, but it really changed him. I know change isn’t much to a 9 year old, but he’s more relaxed, happy and doing so much better. Why it’s you? You always had a way with words, knowing just what to say to make people feel better. Ronnie’s even talking about becoming a doctor. Thanks, whatever you did. Annie.’
Kids…so cute but always take things the wrong way.
‘Dear Hank…’
My God, he actually kept it…What else is here?
‘Heya Hawk, how’s Civilian life treating you? Well I know how…but there’s just so much you can’t say over the phone. Erin’s climbing all over me and Peg, demanding a brother. I’ve only been back for a month, this kid sure knows what she wants.’
Things haven’t changed eh BJ?
‘So, instead we got her a fish. She’s content with that…it’s a lot cheaper and simpler than a brother.’
Always able to compromise.
‘Any luck in tracking down Margaret? I found her sister for you, she hasn’t heard from her in literally a year. You said Potter had no idea nor did Charles. Have you tried Radar? He can find anything…or anyone. You could try Klinger or Father Mulcahy. Hey, even Frank if you’re that desperate…Wait, Potter must have some connections. If they can’t find her, maybe Howitzer or her mom or even Lorraine Anderson. I know how badly you want to find her, we all do.’
Hawkeye, Hawkeye, Hawkeye…no one knew where I was. Hey, I didn’t even know where I was. I don’t even know where I am.
‘Have you caught up with Trapper yet? Or is that going into enemy territory? Anyway, I’ll catch you later. BJ’
Well everyone’s playing pals, it seems you did.
‘Dear Hawkeye, I know you and Margaret are close friends, and because of that you probably want to kill me for what I did to her. I know by all accounts you don’t want to hear from me, but I want you to take care of her. I like her, she’s got real spunk…just too much for me to handle. I hope she’ll find someone who knows her, who can handle her and who can love her. Someone like you, or BJ. Please listen to me, I left her because I couldn’t handle her unpredictability. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong when she started screaming, I just didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t a strong enough man to stay faithful to her…plus being apart didn’t help. I’m not making excuses, it’s the truth. Please look after her. Donald.’
What the hell? DONALD? THAT BASTARD! Writing, trying to justify his actions. Well fuck him…
‘Dear Margaret’
What?
‘Well this is it. After 3 long years together, we’re finally free…free from this war…this hell. I know you never had a ‘home’ to speak of, I can’t begin to imagine what that must have been like. This camp has been more of a home to me at times then back in Crabapple Cove. When I first came here I had the thought I’d get my points, fool around a bit, drink a lot, patch up wounded kids and be home within a year. I never thought I would last the entire war, never thought I would miss any of it. I was going back and was going to forget all about it. Sure I’d still speak to Trapper and Henry and maybe even Radar. Boy did things change. Henry was killed, Trapper went home and BJ and Potter came. You and Frank then you and Donald, then Charles arrived…then you and I. Things began to change when you got engaged. I realised I what I would miss. The people and our closeness – physical and otherwise. Well. We’ve been through a lot. The only two to last the entire war. The only two who knew everyone who came through here. Henry, Trapper, Frank, Mulcahy, Klinger, BJ, Potter, Charles, Radar – everyone. And out of everyone I’m going to miss, I’m going to miss you the most. No, not BJ, you. Is it because we’ve known each other longer? I don’t think so. I’m going to miss your smile, your face, your voice, your hands helping in surgery, those gorgeous legs of yours (you know I had to throw that in), your humour even your anger. You are an amazing person Margaret Houlihan, don’t EVER tell yourself otherwise. I’ll never be able to look at another flagpole the same way again! Love Hawkeye.
Typical Hawkeye…such a damn prick vocally…on paper it all comes out. Why didn’t he send this? Was it before or after…that night? There’s got to be more.
‘I Benjamin Franklin Pierce, being of sound mind and endangered body, hereby declare this to be my Last Will and Testament.’
Oh my God…he made a will? The aid station…
‘I bequeath to my father all my worldly possessions except the following: To Charles Emerson Winchester, though we may have wounded your pride, you never lost your dignity. I therefore bequeath to you the most dignified thing I own-my bathrobe. Purple is the colour of royalty.’
Wow, he really must have morals.
‘To Father Francis Mulcahy, I leave five cents. You are a man of God, and I know worldly possessions mean little to you, Father. So I leave you a nickel along with something I value more highly than anything I own-my everlasting respect.’
Typical Pierce…
‘To you, Margaret Houlihan,’
ME?
‘I leave my treasured Groucho nose and glasses. Perhaps they will remind you of how much I enjoyed that silly side you show all too infrequently.’
What silly side? It was all because of you, you idiot.
‘To Sherman Potter, who’s a lot like my dad, I leave The Last of the Mohicans, my dad’s favourite book. I’d like you to have the copy he gave me.’
Sherman Potter…definitely the dad of the camp.
‘To Maxwell Q. Klinger, I leave you the shirt off my back, not just any shirt, but my beloved Hawaiian shirt.’
Til death do us part…
‘To Erin Hunnicutt, I leave you a list of all the young men your daddy took care of while he was in Korea. Many of them have him to thanks for being alive today. I want you to understand why he had to be away from you those first years of your life.’
Oh Hawkeye, always sweet…I wonder if Erin ever got the list?
‘I hope I have the chance to give you this list in person. But around here, you never know. Benjamin Franklin Pierce’
You made it back here…in relatively one piece. Unlike me, who isn’t even a me. To you Margaret…no one else got a ‘you’ did they? What…like I don’t who Margaret is?
“Of course not. You’re nuts and he knows it.”
“Or he thinks you’re dumb”
“That too…”
I’m surprised you two haven’t told me to kill myself yet.
“Naw, then we wouldn’t be around either.”
“You know, that’s quite profound…I never saw it that way.”
“Why thank you. And that’s why I wear the white!”
“I always preferred the red…gave a little oomph to it.”
I must be crazy…they’re not talking to me.
“No, you’re just boring us…”
So what do you do when you’re away? Is there like a bar inside my head?
“That’s a myth, we’re just in the mind. If we were in your head you’d be dead.”
“And so would we.”
“No, we do what you do. Poker, read, play around.”
So you’re the one causing all the headaches then?
“We said we weren’t in your head…doesn’t mean we don’t poke through it.”
Really thanks.
“Hey, the sicker you get the stronger we are.”
“So just stay sick and we’ll stick around.”
But they won’t
“They? WHO NEEDS THEM! They won’t always be here.”
And neither will you two.
“Not if we can help it.”
“Come on, this is getting boring.”
“Plus there’s someone who’s been looking at you for the past 5 minutes too.”
WHAT?!
“I was wondering when you’d finally get the message I was standing here.” “I thought you were going to bed?” “Figured you’d need a hand. Find anything interesting?” “Nothing that you don’t know about.” “Well seeing it’s my house, I should know everything. Why didn’t you hear me?” “You didn’t say anything.” “Margaret, I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past 5 minutes.” “RUBBISH!” “You’ve been zoned out, like you were somewhere else.” “If I knew where I was, I’d tell you okay?” “You said Korea.” “What?” “You said you were still in Korea?” “When?” “Yesterday, on the beach, remember?” “Yeah, no, wait…I’m not sure.” “You’re not sure?” “My head’s just too clouded. I really need to get out.” “Look, I found something, my baby cousin’s.” “What exactly are you saying?” “My baby cousin…she’s…” “What?” “15…these should be okay.” “Oh, fine.” “Well I would say have fun, but that’s clearly not in your dictionary at this time. Come get me when Margaret pops in.” “Idiot.” “As I said, you can yell, you can scream YOU CAN CURSE BUT I’M STILL GONNA BE HERE!”
Just shut up and drop dead.
At least the sweater still fits…
God it’s cold out here. Run will do me the world of good. Not to mention there won’t be the slightest possibility of me pissing off his royal heroship. That’s not even a word…I really gotta do something.
Tests? Did he say tests yesterday? Was I even here yesterday? What tests? Did he even mention what ones? Do I tell him the truth?
“Of course not DUH!”
But then again maybe he’ll give it up.
“Maybe, but maybe he won’t.”
I could tell Charles or someone who won’t tell him…I wouldn’t be lying and he wouldn’t know. Then again, what business is it of anyones?
And ringing my dad…Howitzer would sooner see him in the stockade than speak to him about me. Stockade…still all that army shit stored in your brain. At least it’s 7am and not oh-seven-hundred. And surplus isn’t something you eat all the time. But everything’s a problem before it affects anyone else…damn civilian way of thinking.
Charles and Trapper WORKING TOGETHER? And who’s Henry? Uncle Charles, Uncle Trapper, Uncle Hawkeye, Grampa Sherman…all in a year everyone’s closer than before! There’s probably Uncle Radar and Uncle Klinger too. Aunty Margaret? Where the hell did they get that from? Only Aunt to Adam and Ally and I’ve never met them before…kids…foolish, unaware, free of responsibilities and can get away with murder. Downside?
No drinking or smoking…they don’t know about that yet either. Hell it’s not a habit. Is it? OF course not! Sex…plenty of kids do it. Plenty of married people do it…and not necessarily with whom they’re married to either. Donald – that asshole did that with that whore Darlene…and whoever else he could find. Anyone but me. And I’m just as bad! Hawkeye…said he never regretted it…why would he complain? He’s now had the entire nursing staff. I was just the completion of the deck. Plus I don’t exactly lie there and do nothing…well I never used to. Lately…hell lately’s just a release…I never heard any complaints afterwards. Maybe that’s where the smoking thing came from?
Did I even bring them? Great, probably not. I’ll just get some more. Yeah…right…with what?
What would Hotlips do? Do ‘favours’ for someone. What would Margaret do? Ask someone. What would Major Houlihan do? Order someone. What would I do?
Steal from someone…
