"Holding On"
By Raising Kane
Disclaimer: I imply nothing about the sexual orientation, religious beliefs, etc. of any of the characters. This is simply a work of fiction produced by my twisted and adventurous mind. I also don't own the Lyrics, Kenny Loggins does. I'm just borrowing them for my own insane purposes.
Distribution: Shadows of the Moon, anyone else...if you really want it... just ask first please.
Rating: PG (I think)
Characters: Shawn Michaels/Dave Batista, appearances by Chris Jericho & HHH.
Content: Silliness, M/M Relationships
Song: "I'm Free (Heaven Helps the Man)" by Kenny Loggins
Author's Note: *eye roll* This is the first in a series of Songfics. Don't ask where they came from because I can't honestly tell you. LOL.
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He had his own fan club. People, young and old, recognized him on the streets and sought his autograph. He was the Icon, the Showstopper, HBK...Shawn Michaels. The kids in the back called him Mr. Michaels and looked at him with stars in their eyes. Hell, even Hunt had looked at him that way when they first met. But not him. Not the man he was inconspicuously staring at across the room. He had seen the man backstage from time to time, but he seemed to keep to himself. The first real interaction they'd had together had come when Shawn had stopped to see Hunter in the Evolution locker room. He remembered the meeting as if it were yesterday. **** He had walked into the room with his normal confident stride only to pull up when he realized that Hunter wasn't in the room. The only occupant of the room turned to look at him then promptly turned back to dig through the black bag in front of him on the bench. Shawn wasn't given so much as a "Hi.", "Can I help you?", or "Hey! You're HBK!" He was nonplused. His co-workers did not ignore him. They didn't act as if he weren't in the room. But this man did. Shawn didn't care for his reaction. He wanted attention, damn it! He deserved it! "I'm looking for Hunt. Do you happen to know where he is?" "No." That was it! No recognition, no starry looks, no offers to help find Hunter. The guy must be shy; at least that was Shawn's obvious conclusion. They hadn't formally been introduced after all. Maybe he was so in awe that he just didn't know how to react. He stepped closer to the man and extended his hand, all the charm at his disposal in his voice. "We haven't been introduced yet. I'm Shawn Michaels." The man turned towards him. After staring at the hand in front of him for a moment the man raised his own hand and shook Shawn's, very firmly, before letting go. "I know." He smiled...a smile to rival the sun sure, but it was still just a smile. Then he turned back to search through his bag again. That was it. No exchange of his own name, no fawning, no 'hey, wanna hit the showers for some really hot sex?'...nothing. Nothing else at all! Shawn was...miffed. He probably would have started shouting if Hunter hadn't chosen that moment to enter the room. "Hey, Shawn. I see you've met Dave." Hunt was smirking even as he said it. "Yeah. Yeah, I met Dave." Shawn had growled, then turned and stalked from the room without asking Hunter what he'd set out to ask him in the first place. **** Things had changed slowly between them. The more he had had to interact with Dave, the more the man had opened up to him. Still he never went through that starstruck phase that the newer, younger wrestlers seemed to go through. There was respect, but no obvious admiration where he was concerned. It confused Shawn. It made him wonder. Quite honestly, in the beginning, it had annoyed the hell out of him. Then it had changed to something else. Shawn was actually happy that he hadn't had to endure the long stares, the obvious come-ons, the lewd proposals that he'd received from the younger stars that he'd had to work with. They developed a rapport of sorts. They worked well together. That seemed to be enough for awhile though Shawn had an underlying sense of dissatisfaction. It took him a couple of months to actually pinpoint what it was that was bothering him. He had walked into the Evolution locker room once again and found Randy Orton making eyes at Dave. Despite the fact that Dave seemed oblivious to Randy's efforts, Shawn almost blew a gasket. That was when he realized that he wanted to pound Randy into dust, just for having the gall to hit on Dave. At first he couldn't even explain his anger. Then it hit him. He wanted to be the one to hit on Dave. Though of course he would much prefer it if the man responded to him. And wasn't that just the bitch of it? Because he wasn't at all sure that Dave would respond to him. Or if he did respond that it would be in a positive way. After all, Dave had never shown any interest in him in that way. So Shawn kept quiet. He was still keeping quiet even now, months later. Months during which he'd made an effort to really get to know Dave. And damn did he like the person behind Dave 'the Animal' Batista. Actually he more than liked him...he'd fallen for the man like a ton of bricks. Soft spoken, polite to a fault, mature, and ambitious yet unwilling to stoop to backstage politics...that was the man that was Dave Batista. Shawn shook his head, turning away from the man still at his locker. He still hadn't figured out a way to approach the man. He still wasn't sure he wouldn't be shot down in flames. He was frustrated as hell and it was obvious to anyone who knew him well...like Hunter. Hunter was fully aware of his feelings about Dave. Hunter liked to tease him endlessly about his 'crush'. It was fortunate that he'd turned away from Dave when he had, because Hunter and Chris had just entered the room and Shawn knew that Hunter would have teased him like crazy if he'd caught him staring yet again. Still he couldn't help but glance Dave's way. He frowned at the easy way that Chris sidled right up to Dave and started talking to him. He frowned over the easy smile that Dave bestowed on Chris. It wasn't jealousy...it wasn't! Everyone in the locker room knew that Chris and Dave were the best of friends...but only friends. Okay...so maybe there was a tiny bit of envy that Chris could talk so easily to the man. Why did he have to stand so damn close to him? Hunter's chuckle broke through Shawn's musings. Shawn turned to look at Hunter, his glare daring him to say even one word. Hunter held his hands up in surrender and just smiled. "Shut up, Hunter," he growled as he turned to grab several items from the bench. His portable CD player, a towel, and a homemade CD in hand, Shawn turned and walked out of the room with one last glare tossed over his shoulder at his blond friend. **** "He was watching you again." A single brow rose as Dave looked at Chris with obvious disbelief. "You're nuts." "No, you're nuts if you don't see how he looks at you. Just say something to him Dave. It's killing me...watching you watching him while he watches you as well and neither of you ever notices." Dave rolled his eyes. "I never should have said anything to you. The minute you found out I was interested in him you started seeing things that weren't there." Dave shook his head and turned to dig through his bag. "I'm not seeing things," Chris insisted in an urgent whisper. "I'm telling you...he watches you all the time. Ask Hunter." "No!" It had come out a little louder than Dave had intended. He noticed that he'd drawn Hunter's attention as well as the attention of several others in the locker room. "I'm not asking Hunter anything," he whispered furiously. "Just leave it alone Chris." Chris shook his head at Dave's stubbornness. He watched as Dave finished buttoning his light pink shirt and then turned and stalked out of the room. Chris turned to look at Hunter and they both burst into laughter. "Which one do you think is more stubborn?" Hunter tilted his head to the side and seemed to consider the question seriously. "That's a really hard call to make. So...what are we going to do about it?" Chris smiled conspiratorially and walked over to Hunter. "I've got an idea..." **** He'd headed to the catering room. No one was ever in there this early, except maybe the caterers, so he would be assured of some minimal privacy. He could pout there and no one would see it...no one meaning specifically Hunter. It also meant that he could listen to whatever music he wanted to and he wouldn't have to listen to the other guys complain. So what if his taste in music was just a bit eclectic? The song he wanted to listen to right now was...special. It held a lot of meaning for him and the situation he was now in. As he popped the CD into the player, he checked once again to make sure he was alone. The last thing he needed was an audience when he was trying to think. Hunter was probably the only one that knew about this little habit of his. When he lost himself in the music and dancing, his thought processes tended to become clearer. It made sense...a little bit of exercise helped clear the mind. He stepped back and pushed the play button, closing his eyes to everything around him as he heard the opening bars of the song. **** He was standing just outside the doors to the catering room. He always made sure to stand at an angle where the man inside wouldn't notice him. Shawn would probably think he was being stalked if knew of all the times that Dave had watched him like this. Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best way to deal with these feelings he had for Shawn, but he just couldn't gather the courage to come right out and talk to the man. What would Shawn see in him? He could have anyone in the Fed that he wanted with just a snap of his fingers. In truth, Dave had been interested in Shawn since the moment he'd met him. Dave remembered it like it was yesterday...their meeting in the Evolution locker room. He'd always thought Shawn was...hot. That was a given. He'd seen other guys fawning over Shawn in the halls and while he understood the appeal, he knew that he could never act like that where Shawn was concerned. He wasn't out to get laid. Dave was old enough that he was to the point where one-night stands were no longer appealing. He wanted someone to settle down with...someone he could count on to be there through thick and thin. Drooling like a puppy just wasn't his style and it wouldn't get him what he wanted. As far as he could tell though, Shawn adored the attention. He ate it up whenever one of the younger guys approached him with that star-struck look in their eyes. Though Dave did happen to notice that Shawn never left with any of them. He had noticed that more often then not Shawn left with Hunter or left alone. He was well aware that Shawn and Hunter were the best of friends. Hunter had told him so on more than one occasion. He wasn't jealous of Hunter, but he was jealous of the time that Hunter got to spend with Shawn. So when they'd met in the locker room, he'd done his best to act disinterested. Why? Because he didn't want to join the masses that Shawn turned down. It was better that he never showed any interest than get shot down like all the others. It was safer. He knew that his attitude had bothered Shawn. It was obviously not the kind of reaction he was used to. Dave had smiled for an hour after Shawn had stormed out of the room. Every time after that he'd been careful to treat Shawn with respect, but he hadn't given a hint of any other kind of feelings. They'd developed an easy friendship, but there was still that bit of tension between them even now. He smiled as he listened to the beginning of the song. This was a new one or at least a song that he'd never witnessed Shawn dancing to before. It was upbeat and he was sure that he'd be smiling by the time Shawn was done. ****
Looking into your eyes I know I'm right Shawn wrapped himself up in the music. His feet followed no real pattern as he moved from one end of the room to the other. He always felt as if the music was a part of him, flowing through his veins rather than blood. Simply letting his body follow the rhythm, he danced. His mind meanwhile was caught in the lyrics being sung. He'd looked into Dave's eyes...on numerous occasions. Every once in awhile he'd catch a glimmer there, but he wasn't about to try to interpret the big man's thoughts. Still he kept hoping that one day he'd see something there that went beyond friendship when the man looked at him. He knew if he saw just a hint of what he felt for Dave in Dave's eyes he'd do whatever it took to make the man his own. But until then he couldn't take the chance. Could he? The only thing stopping him was his own fears. He smiled mid-step, his hands raised over his head as he considered that for a second. He was the one stopping himself from finding out how Dave regarded him. Hunter had prodded him endlessly to just talk to the man. Maybe he should.
You're what I want He almost laughed as he imagined Dave's face if he walked right up to the man and told him that he wanted him. Not just for one night, but for as long as Dave would give him. Shawn was tired of dealing with kids who only wanted him so that they could say they had been with him...or worse...those that thought he'd give them a helping hand in the business. He wanted someone who wanted him just for himself...Shawn Michaels, not HBK. That was sort of a contradiction because Shawn Michaels had a lot of HBK's traits, just not in such large proportions. Shawn was sure of himself. He knew that people found him attractive. He'd been told so over and over again. He was charming, when he wanted to be. He still had his own teeth and so what if he was getting a little spare up on top. It happened to lots of guys. Maybe he was a little bit conceited, but he preferred to think of it as confidence. He could do it. He'd go find Dave and just tell him. He'd tell him the honest truth.
I'm free! He did laugh as he leaped into the air, one foot landing on the seat of a chair that he'd pulled into the aisle between the tables. His second foot hit the metal top with a click, the chair tipping as he extended his arms towards the ceiling. He had to try. It was the only way that he'd ever know for sure. And he needed to know. He'd put off a decision for quite awhile now. As much as he loved the business, he was aware of the time bomb he was sitting on. His back wasn't going to hold out forever. He'd considered semi-retirement again...even mentioned it to Vince. He would never fully retire. There were always appearances or other parts to play on the show. He could head a faction like Hunter without having to step into the ring every single week. He had his fame and fortune and he wanted some time to enjoy it. The only reason he hadn't committed to it yet was because of Dave. As long as he was active in the ring, there was a chance he'd have to spend more time with the man. It was kind of pathetic. He just had this feeling if he stopped performing, he'd lose any chance with the man he'd come to love. He had to make his move...soon. Until then, he was tied to the constant schedule of a full-time wrestler. Hell...if he did hook up with Dave, he'd still be tied to that schedule...it just wouldn't require him putting his body on the line all the time. He'd still travel with the man after all.
Running away will never make me free Dave started as he heard the quiet giggles behind him. Definitely not something he expected to hear in a building filled with wrestlers. Taking a quick look over his shoulder, he snorted. Hunter and Chris stood behind him. Two of the sassiest wrestlers in the business and they were giggling like schoolgirls. He scowled as the two walked up beside him and peeked around the corner of the door. "Will you two just go away." Chris wiggled his eyebrows and took a step towards the door. Dave growled. "Chris! Damn it..." The quiet hiss didn't draw the attention of the man inside the room, still dancing. It drew Chris' attention long enough for him to stick his tongue out at Dave before he proceeded into the room. As Chris walked into the room where Shawn was dancing his heart out, Dave turned to glare at Hunter. The man was leaning against the wall...smiling. He stood quietly through Dave's unspoken threat, his eyes on the two men now in the room.
I'm shaking the past Shawn stopped mid-turn, startled by the appearance of Jericho. Jericho walked up to him without a word and grabbed him by the waist before tossing him up onto one of the tables. Chris jumped onto the table across the aisle and they shared a smile before gracefully dancing their way to the opposite ends of their tables. As they ran towards each other, Dave and Hunter both held their breaths in the hallway. What the hell were those crazy nuts up to? As the two men reached the ends of the tables they dove forward, propelling from their hands off the tables, their bodies twisting through the air with a hairsbreadth between them. As they hit the opposite tables from which they'd flung themselves, Dave and Hunter released their held breaths. Dave was still glaring even as Shawn and Chris slid a short distance across the tables on the slick soles of their boots. The fact that he hadn't had to pick their broken bodies from the floor was small comfort. Even as he thought it, he knew it was ridiculous. They had both performed much riskier moves in the ring. Hunter on the other hand was back to grinning as he watched the myriad emotions crossing Dave's face.
I'm free! Shawn and Chris ran towards each other yet again, flipping in the air to land side by side on the floor. Hunter giggled again. Dave was still scowling. Then his mouth dropped open and he found himself giggling right along with Hunter. He wasn't happy about it...Batista did not giggle. But he was. As he watched Chris trying to stand on tiptoes so he could twirl Shawn around in a circle underneath his arm, the hilarity overwhelmed him. It hit even harder when Chris caught Shawn in a huge dip and almost dropped him on his ass. Dave covered his mouth with his hand to stifle a laugh even as he turned to find Hunter taking his first step into the room. As Hunter started clapping very loudly, Dave ducked around the side of the door. He missed Chris pulling Shawn to his feet and Shawn sticking his tongue out at Hunter. He didn't miss Hunter's words though since 'The Game' made a point of speaking them rather loudly. "Damn Shawn. I haven't seen you wound up like that in a long time. So who was all that emotion for? Hmm?" He didn't miss Shawn's reply either. "Shut up Hunter. You know exactly who it was for and I don't appreciate your smart-ass comments." As Shawn and Hunter came face to face, Chris boosted himself up to sit on a table. Chris was smiling. Hunt was grinning. Shawn was frowning. "I do know who it is, but I think you should tell him. He did enjoy the performance by the way." As Hunter motioned towards the door with his hand, Shawn's head snapped in that direction. At first he didn't see anyone, but then he caught a glimpse of a pink sleeve. He groaned and whispered under his breath, "God, sometimes I hate you Hunt." Shawn walked towards the door and stopped dead center, having come face to face with Dave who had also heard Hunter's comments. Dave's pink cheeks told of his embarrassment at being caught out, but Shawn was absolutely thrilled. Who'd have thought that 'the Animal' would ever blush? "I don't think those two are going to let up..." Shawn said quietly as he looked into Dave's eyes. "Yeah. They seem to think they know what's best. I think they're both pains in the ass." Dave smirked before flashing a dirty look in the direction of the two in the room who were now whispering to each other as they watched the scene unfold. When he turned back to Shawn, he smiled. "So...maybe we should go have coffee or something after the show. Just to get them to shut up." Shawn noticed the flash in Dave's eyes as he spoke. This time he wasn't afraid to interpret it. "I think...that sounds like a wonderful idea." Dave hadn't missed the way Shawn was looking at him and he wasn't about to pass up this opportunity. Dave snagged Shawn's hand and pulled him into the hall. As they headed back down the hall towards the dressing room, they missed the high-five and the satisfied grins of the two blonds still in catering. The End
RK
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