Colin's Page That Hates You
>>What you'll need to know:

1) Hamsters are cute but bad.

2) Lemmings rock and do not, in fact, commit mass suicide by cliff jumping.

3) Too much talk about rodents is bad for the soul.
V1.0: 200310220742
It's because you hate me, isn't it.
Always moving forward
>>You want to play? Here's what you'll need:

1) Rrruffles with Rrridges.  They're brain food.  Salt suspended in oil neatly encased in something that began as a root.

2) Coca-Cola.  Accept no substitutes.  Only Coca-Cola can provide you with that long-lasting, gently jittery awake that'll get you through level after level.  (For those newbies, a level is what we used to call a mission back when us old folks made the industry with our hard earned allowance.)

3)  That's it.  Just 1 & 2.  Pick up that damn controller.
Look up anything you want at the world's greatest broadcasting company
Because I love them so...
The producers of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Dr. Who, and everything else good ever to be splattered across a tube.
Grand theft auto.  Yup.  No matter where you go on this site you will read about it.  We can't help ourselves.  So.  MR and I have been playing GTAIII since X-mas 2001, dreaming of the fantastic rewards of the 100% game.  Well, on our third run (the first two being made nearly impossible and completely impossible, respectively, due to our actions) we accomplished it.  We drove feverishly up to the planetarium region to visit the rave broadcast on RISE FM, but no dice.  We checked the final blocked tunnels for a way through to Miami or Athens or Hell or Anywhere, but no, the tunnel testers were still hard at work.  It seems that the only reward for the 100% game is the knowledge of a job well done.  I know I do a good job in GTA.  I don't need a one and a couple of zeros to tell me that.  I did the job so the announcer could tell the contestants what they'd won.  "Well Johnny, it's a big fat lot of nothing!  That's right, not even a lousy T-shirt.  So let me save you the trouble.  You get nothing!  You so stupid!  Why you pick the box?
P.S.  If you ever start a new game of GTAIII, start it WITHOUT a card in that Magic Gate.  Trust me.  The Red Jacks will thank you for it.
stop star bats stab rats pots . able was I ere I saw elba . stop star bats stab rats pots
stop star bats stab rats pots . able was I ere I saw elba . stop star bats stab rats pots
I'll have you know that this is my first page.  That should just about explain away all the little absolute crap nuance of the page, such as the red on black motif, bad placement and spacing, and crap for content.  So, there you go.
stop star bats stab rats pots . able was I ere I saw elba . stop star bats stab rats pots
Untitled Document 
	Stop the presses. Someone call the National Enquirer. Have I 
got a yarn for you. I found a straight board at Lowes Home Improvement 
Center. Allright, so if you're not a DIY geek like me you may want to 
skip down to the GTAIII article, which has broader appeal. (DIY, for 
the uninitiated, means Do It Yourself and is an acronym in high usage 
in the U.K.) 
	Anyone who is a DIY geek like I am and gives half a chipmunk's 
chuckle about the quality of her/his materials will know that there is 
a medium to high level of dificulty in finding even acceptably straight 
boards in medium grade pine, ironically called Top Choice, and a 
practical imposibility in finding an actually straight board. I submit 
the following:
	Not of oak, nor of poplar, was the board,
	Nor even of cabinet grade pine was it hewn,
	But bore the mark of Top Choice
		Did my magical 1x8x6.
	Twelve discernable right angles this board bore,
	Four on each end, indicating a true cut,
	The remaining four encircling, so to speak,
		Describing the cross-section as a true rectangle.
	Along this board's whole six foot length,
	Not a single ripple could be seen,
	That this board was truely there,
		On a whole stack of bibles I would swear.
		(Not being very religious, at least not that way.)
DIYers everywhere, Keep the faith! Continue the search with renewed 
vigour, for I can assure you, the board is out there! 
Do you have your own story of providence 
or a triumph over adversity at your local 
Hardware Store?
Want to share?
Email it to me...Just as soon as I get
an email address.

 
This is a lemming.
Look at his foobie wittle face.
Witness his iggy ittle nosey wosey...
Bow!