I go to the grocery with her. I go to market with her. I cook, I clean, she's also there, I go to shopping malls with her. I go to church, I pray with her, go to restaurants, watch movies, have some coffee, listen to music, visit relatives, visit the beauty salon and do my nails, and most specially, chat, all of which I do, I am with her. She's always there for me. She even sometimes turns down her friends' invitations just to be with me. She loves spending time with me and her family. She loves talking to me, cooking with me and learning from me. She is Martha, my first child. I only have two children and her brother is only a toddler. I can't ever imagine life without her.
For some reason she's a vegetarian at the age of 10. Now I know that she only wants to eat vegetables and only fish as her source of meat is because she doesn't want pimples to grow on her face as she goes towards puberty. She can sometimes be annoying because of her desire to look pretty at all times. She always wants to look good, have a nice hair and nice clothes. She loves to eat out, have some drinks with me at Starbucks, though she don't drink caffeine based beverages. She loves to look around, strolling, swimming and sports. You can actually talk to her about anything. Not to brag, she's definitely intelligent and a broad minded young girl. The best thing I love about Martha is her compassion, her sensitivity. She's totally my opposite. My husband said that if I have a strong presence, Martha's the opposite. She's somewhat meek and very composed.
She asked me one day, "Mom, is it really so hard to raise a baby?" I wondered about her question, then I said, "Why do you ask?" She said, "Well, I think if you're raising a baby just like my brother, I don't ever think I could do that in the future. I can see that it's so difficult to take care of him." I told her yes and no. I said, "Yes indeed, if you aren't prepared for a family or if you just got married for a wrong reason or if you are too young to be a mother." However, I told her, that these things will not overpower you if your love for your own children is strong enough. Yes it's difficult, but when you love them so much, hardships won't have a place in your heart, because your heart will always belong to your children and your family. When you feel tired of taking care of the kids, that's because you loved and cared for them. You feel proud because you looked after them. You aren't a true mother if you did not even experience pain and tears in raising your child.
She asked these questions because she has experienced taking care of her brother and she realized that it's not that easy having a baby. Then she asked me, "What if I can't do it? Will you help me Mom?" I said, "Of course my love! I will always be there for you. But you need to understand that I may not be always there for you so you must need to learn how your own kids can depend on you!"
I am very confident that Martha can do what I can do right now for my family. Perhaps she may even be a better Mom or a better cook than I am. Who knows? I always pray to God for her safety, her protection and I always teach her to always call on God in times of troubles. Her father and I do empower her with enough guidance and strength, most of all our deepest love and support for her. I can't say she's a perfect daughter but I do wanna say that she's almost perfect. Like other kids, she also needs to be disciplined sometimes. As Proverbs 22:6 says to, "Train [ Or Start ] a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Our guidance for her should not stop but the good thing is, she can absorb quickly on the things we tell her to do. She's very focused and attentive on the things we taught her, even in her studies, as confirmed to us by her adviser and teacher.
There aren't enough words to describe how much I'm proud of her. I taught her once not to be too self-centered, to not always think of herself. She must think of others and try to appreciate the things that she has. Just last month she had lots of money from her christmas presents. I told her to give them to me as I will add those to my budget in buying her the boots she wanted for christmas. She said no because she advised me that she will use them for important expenses she will have. I said, "What important?" "Well Mom, I'm gonna buy a gift for you on your birthday!" She exclaimed. Then I said, "Honey, you don't need to worry about me, just do whatever you want to do with that and buy your needs such as your dictionary." She have wanted to purchase a new dictionary ever since anyway.
Her money was still in tact until I saw her buying ice cream and candies for herself and for her brother. That's perfectly fine with me because that's her money. It turned out that when we went to a mall some days ago to have lunch at our favorite Chinese Restaurant, she asked me to accompany her to the kids section because she's gonna buy a gift for her brother and her cousin. I was touched and said to her, "Honey, you don't need to do that, just buy something for yourself since that's your money." She insisted on buying a shirt for her brother and something for her cousin until we finally agreed that she'll pay for her brother's new set of bottles. She told me it was okay and said, "Mom, I haven't bought anything for my brother, ever anyway. Just let me buy this for him as my christmas gift to him." It made my eyes teary as her father kissed her on her forehead.
She happily bought the bottles for her brother and excitedly handed over to her cousin a cute dress she chose for her. We will be happily treasuring all these moments and will happily tell them to her future children. I'll be most proud of telling her own children all the values and the real beauty of their mom inside and out...
To Martha, we love you very much from Mommy, Daddy and your brother... God bless you forever!
By: Maya Guzman Santos
