| 14 Weeks to go! | ||
|
Note: Links will become active as the designated period passes. Check back often! About me! (non-Accutane-related) Month 1 Month 2 Month 3 Month 4
|
Week 2 Friday 03-07-03 Second week of pills! WOO! I'm hoping that what I'm experiencing on my cheek right now is the dreaded "initial breakout." It's supposed to happen between days 7-10, and I'm on #8, so maybe this is the worst of it. There's only one cyst on my left cheek and nothing else notable (except some small pimples and a gazillion plugs and scars), but I have 6-7 cysts and a couple of pustules on my right cheek. Some are left over from before I even started taking the medicine - I thought they were dying down, but seemed to flared up overnight. Even washing my face is painful. I'm so tempted to pick and pop, but yesterday I swore I'd stop doing it. Among the other things I've noticed: chest/back pain. I may have mentioned it in a previous post, but it's starting to bug me more - usually when I'm getting up from a laying position, or turning in bed at night. It's not TOO terribly painful, but it doesn't exactly feel good either. Nevertheless, I'm happy to report that my knees and ankles haven't been giving me any problems over the last few days! Perhaps I'll start running again, as I told myself I would start doing regularly, but abandoned and used Accutane as an excuse. =) My hair seems dry and frizzy, but it's not bad. I just need to figure out the right amount of conditioner to use, and could probably stand to decrease my number of daily showers to one instead of two. The skin on my body still feels tight, but it's SOFT! Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream is GREAT STUFF; I know I'll keep using it even after Accutane because I've always had a problem with dry skin. Dare I say that my skin is even MORE moisturized now than two weeks ago? My face and lips are a different story, though. I have to reapply the Aquaphor more often now (about every hour or two). They aren't cracked and bloody yet, but they sort of feel numb around the border with my face. I read in another person's Accutane diary that they had to buy toenail clippers to clip the dead skin off of their lips three times a day! I really hope it doesn't progress to that! My entire face is flaky now, but particularly my eyebrows, forehead, and nose. I was using Neutrogena moisturizer with sunscreen, but think I'll switch to the lard-like Cetaphil cream. I feel like I look different. I can't put my finger on it, but even with the flare-up, I feel better about looking in the mirror. It used to be painful; at times, I'd start crying. I don't know if it's because Accutane has given me a slight rosy hue, or because my lips are so shiny and soft, or what - but for the first time, I don't see all of the boils and feel hopeless. I'm still embarrassed for other people to see me, though. I can see people who I've told that I'm taking Accutane staring at my cheek every day. And for the others that I suppose I only imagine are staring at my cheek, I feel an almost uncontrollable urge to run up to them and explain that it's all going to go away in a few months. All in all, though, I'm in relatively high spirits! :) I guess that's all for today! I'm visiting my parents with my boyfriend for the weekend - I hope they all don't think I'm TOO hideous! Sunday 03-09-03 Not much to report here, except that I'm miserable with the way my face looks right now. I really should have knocked on wood when I insisted that it couldn't possibly look any worse. My right cheek is so lumpy that I don't even recognize it as my own when I touch it - and ouch, it hurts when I do! I also just noticed a large, lovely pustule on my left cheek. So you can see what I'm talking about, here are comparison pics (pre-Accutane on the left, and what I hope is the "initial breakout" on the right).
Good god, I hope that's the worst of it. Concealer is no longer my friend, as it just looks ridiculous on me now. I can cake it on, but now I'm afraid people will look at me and think "yuck, who's she kidding?!" My lips are officially and consistently chapped now. I neglected putting anything on them before bed last night, and when I woke up, was sure that my lips would crack and fall off of my face if I smiled. The Aquaphor really seems to soften them up, but they still feel weird. I can barely stand it, and I'm not even 1/10 through my treatment. Apropos, my face burns when I wash it, my nose looks sunburned, and I'm still having moderate-severe chest pains when I change positions while lying down. Hope to have a happier update next time. :( Tuesday 03-11-03 Well, I think I am past the initial breakout. I got so desperate with the breakout that I applied a 10% benzoyl cream VERY LIGHTLY to my right cheek Monday night and this morning. It seemed to help a lot with the inflammation (see HERE), but sadly, my face was so dry and crusty that I would not even THINK about putting makeup on it. I dabbed a very tiny amount of concealer on the reddest spots, put on a little eye makeup, and that was it. This was the first time in YEARS I went to school without a topical face. I felt so naked at class and work, but it wasn't so bad, I suppose. For some reason, I got a strange sense of pleasure thinking that people were looking at my face and feeling uncomfortable doing so - especially when they were talking to me and HAD to look. Every time I left the office to go to the restroom or something, I imagined that the girls in there gossiped about how hideous my skin is. "Did you see her face? Ugh! She needs to just wash it, eat better, etc*" I fantasize that my face will be clearer than theirs in a few months, and I feel better. On a lighter note, I still haven't noticed any more knee/ankle pains, and my nightly chest aches seem less severe. Perhaps my body's just getting used to the medicine. I developed a weird rash on one tiny spot on my forearm on Day Two. It's still there - feels kind of bumpy and rough now, and it's also on the other wrist. My skin burned when I sprayed perfume on it today, especially my neck - so I think the rash is actually a fragrance allergy that I've never had before (although my neck didn't form a rash), and I've been wearing perfume for a good decade or so. Also, whenever I blow my nose, the mucus is mixed with blood. Dried boogers are also red - I can tell this is the start of something fun. *Of course, these things don't cause acne
14 Weeks to go!
|
|
