In a litigated divorce, children frequently feel compelled to choose between two parents. arkansas custody laws Kentucky-divorce-laws. And parents often use their children as weapons or as a way to get "back" at the other parent. Mediating a divorce can spare children these wounds and drastically reduce their pain. During mediation parents learn how to negotiate. arkansas custody laws Custody-of-children. Mediation does not pit one parent against the other, making continued co-parenting possible after divorce. Mediation redefines "custody", calling on each parent to "share time"with their child. Since no parent is a loser, ugly litigation tactics are not necessary. arkansas custody laws Canadian divorce laws. In mediation, the emphasis is placed on the children's best interests, producing a positive win/win outcome for the entire family. Parents serve as models for children. When their is dissension between the parents, children feel that this is the way adult relationships are. It forms an imprint in their mind for future relationships. On the other hand, when children observe parents communicating amicably, negotiating rationally, and demonstrating respect for one another, this serves as a model for their future behavior. They can learn to understand that Mommy and Daddy may not live together any longer, but they can remain friends. In this scenario, children then only have to deal with the fact of the divorce, not conflict as well. Mediation teaches parents how to negotiate, how to stay focused on the issues, how to listen to one another. Mediation shows parents that people can come to agreements without acrimony if they are willing to examine the issues and interests that need to be taken into account. Most couples tend to take positions with one another, rather than focusing on getting their interests met. When looking to solve problems while meeting ones own interest, it is often necessary to consider the interests of the other party. Sometimes it is necessary to meet the interests of the other party. Sometimes it is necessary to meet the other person's interests in order to have one's own interests met. For example, if a man wants his wife to become financially independent of him, in the short run it might be necessary for him to provide financially in the beginning. When taking positions, we become adversaries and no ones interest are served. When taking a position, the being right and winning becomes more important than the relationship that is established.