Godzilla 2000

9/4/00
The newest Godzilla movie is out.  But don't expect another Emmerich/Devlin computer generated iguana.  This is the true Toho studio Godzilla, MAN IN A RUBBER SUIT.

I've never seen a Godzilla movie (except the 1998 Godzilla) in the theater.  I've always seen them on saturday afternoon TV on Monster Television.  I loved these movies as a kid: Destroy all Monsters, Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster etc.  They were so cool.  The model tanks, the cardboard buildings, those tiny little singing sisters.

The movie is a cross between a Godzilla movie and Twister and Independence day.  The first ingredient is fairly obvious.  The second involves a father daughter team that run a decidedly low rent "Godzilla Prediction Network."  They tool around in a Mitsubishi loaded to bear with laptops and antennae and satellite dishes I suppose is for tracking Godzilla.  Tagging along is a reporter trying to make her big break with a photo of Godzilla.  The third ingredient comes in the form of a giant meteorite that crashes into the ocean.  This same meteorite then starts acting decidedly unmeteorite ways by flying around and destroying Tokai District. and Tokyo.

But who cares what the movie is about?  Its a Godzilla movie!  That means model tanks, bad voice over dubbing, and rubber suits.  And this movie provides all of the above.

The special effects are great but decidedly low tech.  Cardboard buildings, model tanks and planes, all the old techniques are in effect here.  And the Man In a Rubber Suit looks great.  However, the Rubber Suit has gotten a make over.  This is not your grandfather's Rubber suit.  This is a Rubber Suit on steroids!  The WWF's version of Godzilla.

The bad voice over dubbing is hilarious.  I don't want to give away the lines, but they are great.  I'm sure if one were to see it in the original japanese, it wouldn't be so bad.  I'm sure that the actors and performances were at least serviceable.  But there is some weird cheese ball transformation that occurs when you dub voice-over on a film, high art can become cheese city.

Is this a good movie?  No, probably not.  Is it fun and entertaining?  Yes, if you like cheese, because that is what this movie is.  And not just cheddar or swiss, I'm talking about the processed, powder in a packet, mix with milk, Kraft Cheese and Macaroni type of cheese.  And if you ask me, that's the best kind.