The Ideal Women

2/14/01
I promised myself I wouldn`t do this, that I wouldn`t acknowledged the national day to harrass and annoy single people: Valentines Day (I`m still pretty sure it violates Separation of Church and State).

However, in keeping with the season (and in procrastinating at work), I will acknowledge Valentine`s Day (or as I refer to it: Black Wednsday) by describing my ideal mate.

So here it is, in no particular order and by no means an exhaustive list, the perfect woman:

• Graced with intelligence and ambition and matched with equal parts grace, compassion, and warmth.

• Has a style that says "this is me and I don`t care if its in-style or not but real class comes from within and that never really goes out of style..."

• Able to boogie at the drop of a hat and won`t laff when I try to sing...

• Likes her martinis clean, not dirty and thinks that scotch and soda should never mix...

• the soundtrack of her life should include: Sinatra, U2, Sting, Miles Davis, and John Coltrane...

• Thinks Capt. Picard is cooler than Capt. Kirk but still loves it when Shatner screams "Khan!!!"

• Knows how to "drop the hammer" when she drives and can go from sorority girl cute to smolderingly sensual in 2 seconds just by her smile...

• Understands while the best things in life come to those who wait, that sometimes you gotta say "Screw it" and grab life by the balls and make it give you what you want...

• Oh and she should by really hot...