Mother Should I Trust the Government? By Bo Shoemaker

At the time when man first gathered together into collective units and legitimized central leaders, government existed in order to perform one sole purpose: to safeguard men from one another.  Government has grown, and now carries out the wishes of the people, supposedly, as best it can.

Government has grown in another way.  Rather than simply protecting men from one another by creating laws and punishments for murder, theft, and the like, sovereign states now seek to protect men from themselves.  Our freedom to choose is severely limited by our leadership under the auspices of providing safety for the general populace.

How dare they moralize?  How can several elected officials proclaim to have the definite moral high ground, and legislate in such a manner?  An independent action made by a rational adult may be declared illegal, even though this action causes no harm to others.  Certain images and words are banned, because a select few have decided that such content is too offensive for every single one of us to deal with.  Religious views held by a certain number of people in the population are woven into law, as actions forbidden in holy books (but which are nonetheless harmless) are forbidden according to law.  Of course two homosexuals cannot be married!  To allow gay marriage would cause actual physical pain to those who deep down believe that such things are wrong.  It's OK, they can have "civil unions," everything will be fine as long as these less-than-humans have their own little traditions, as long as they are separate from the ceremonies in which we real human beings participate.

Shoemaker takes a mighty swing at accepted functions of government.

Someone feels uncomfortable because an opposing viewpoint has been spoken in a classroom of an enlightening institution!  Well, we'll have to talk about whether those knowledgeable people will be allowed to relate any information besides basic facts from now on!

You got fat by eating that food and drinking that synthetic syrup every day of your life?  Let's sue anyplace that sells them!  It's a permanent solution!  Who's going to ever want to swindle you uneducated people in the future?  There's no need to try to try to make you think for yourselves, we don't want things to get out of hand, do we?  No, we'll take care of you.  We know what's best.

We will all bleed from our ears upon hearing those certain forbidden words.  It is obviously not the idea of the word that is the problem, because I can interpret what they say on TV through the "bleep."  It must be the sound of the actual word itself!  Those who hear seldom live to tell the tale!

Let's show all the murderous acts we possibly can in movies and video games.  But sweet Jesus!  Are you putting a scene portraying the act of sex?  That thing we all need to do in order for the human race to survive?  No one can see it unless he or she is over 17, because a 16 year old will become perverted by watching it.  Bashing in someone's head with a skateboard?  A-OK by me!

Reached maturity yet?  Sit down, drink this, and don't even think about going out there and causing trouble.  Imbibing will keep you occupied so that you won't question anything we do for the remainder of your life here.  What?  You want to know if you can administer some of that non-addictive, relatively safe plant product to yourself?  Not a chance!  Back in the 1930s someone thought that such actions would lead to interracial rape and the corruption of youth, and something like that's gotta be true!

We can't tell you about that thing we're doing on the other side of the world.  Sure, the power of this government is supposed to rest with the people, but none of you can know this.  We have it taken care of.  You sit tight and consume some more cheaply-made products, sedate yourself with drink and television, we're going to stay over here and make some guns.  After all, who's going to protect you from those evil people over there?  They are pure evil, you know, they have no actual grievances other than the fact that we have "freedom."

Something new on the horizon?  We'll check it out, and then we'll let you know what's best for you, based on what we think.

Enjoy your freedom.

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