Film Point/Counterpoint with Bo Shoemaker

My friend of many years has finally forgiven me for plotting to pour Goldbond on his chest and agreed to go head-to-head with me on a few films we disagree about.  The only rule to our discussion was that I wasn't allowed to post the following picture of Bo.

Bo "Kittens" Shoemaker

Me

Sunset Blvd. is a great piece of noir cinema that also manages to comment on what my colleague refers to as "Hollywood narcissism."  A trend-setter shouldn't be held accountable for the crap that comes after, and Sunset is anything but crap.  Norma Desmond is a caricature, just as her character is supposed to be.  Her over-the-top melodrama is reminiscent of the silent films from which she hails.  We hope she's only playing, and indeed she is; that is the point of the movie, ass.  Norma could never let Hollywood go, even though it turned on her.  Her now-butler couldn't let her go, even though they divorced.  The film is about how people compromise themselves in order to be in the proximity of greatness.  The sad tale of Norma Desmond is a reflection on the thousands of sad tales of Hollywood wash-ups, and Billy Wilder riddles his film with creepy nuances that became a part of the image of the "Golden Age" of Hollywood.  Thanks Billy.  Thanks a lot.

Sunset Blvd. is the not-so-creepy film that unfortunately touched off a revolution.  Norma Desmond, the aging silent film star, is more of a great caricature than the great character fans make her out to be.  Rather than come off as a woman trapped in greatness, she appears as a bad actress in a bad film.  Is she creepy? Yes, but only in the way that the kid who jokes about his parents beating him is.  You kind of hope all along that Desmond isn't real - that she's only playing - and when it turns out she's not, you want your 2 hours back.  Sunset Boulevard and other bad Billy WIlder films like Double Indemnity paved the way  for expanded Hollywood narcissism (they didn't just "manage to comment" on it.).  If Desmond was scarier and not so pathetic, this film might have the eerie feel it so desperately strives for.  Now, even though he's dead, we still have to put up with Wilder's legacy through crap like Mulholland Drive.  Thanks Billy.  Thanks a lot.

Sunset Boulevard

Wet Hot American Summer is the gleeful tale of the last day at Camp Firewood.  Featuring some of the finest comedic talents around (see: Amy Poehler), the film is a testament to the strange and fantastic experiences that can only occur at summer camp.  Here I must admit my bias, as I am a summer camp counselor, and I can see how a lot of this is inside humor.  But that doesn't explain my colleague's distaste for it.  Bo, you should understand better than any of us that the best way to be a hero at summer camp is to win Capture the Flag; that  when someone goes nuts at the talent show, you're almost literally 'blown away'; and that sometimes, if you will it hard enough, it seems as though Skylab really could fall right on you.  Wet Hot's 80's theme manages to stay tucked away but always accesible; it avoids the period film pitfalls of sinking into obnoxious- or repetitveness.  The 80's dress and music also lend themselves to the film's higher purpose: its potent critique of John Hughes-style filmmaking and its influences on actual life.  The film is the perfect blend of esoteric humor and blistering social commentary that meknowyou.geo strives for.

Wet Hot American Summer.  This is one of those movies that couldn't decide whether or not it was a farce.  The film is filled with tremendous comedic talent, but it rarely peeks through the opaque theater curtains of bad writing and failed gaffs.  David Hyde Pearce nuances his character to the max, and it is wonderful.  The film has some great commentary about summer camp life (i.e. how much can happen in a day, and the fact that girls always go for the asshole guys - see Evan's page dedicated to this study).  However, many of the sub-plots are uninteresting and just plain weird.  The film tries to have significance at some points (the camp chef's storyline) only to have them fall flat on their face while trying to elude the film's farcical elements, which seem to spring back to life as persistently as Jason Voorhees.  Several parts of this movie always have me laughing out loud, but these are either in relation to David Hyde Pearce's character or to an over-the-top parody.  The good parts of this movie could be compressed into a 10-minute skit; the rest of it should be forcibly shown to Australians and other undesirables.

Wet Hot American Summer

Amendment, September 2005: I have found a retroactive appreciation for this film.  Many times over the summer I found myself quoting it, and appreciating some of the over-the-top parody and weird sub-plots that I originally critiqued.

Signs is no longer M. Night's latest insult to the educated movie-goer, but it's still bad.  Joaquin Phoenix gives his usual soap opera-worthy performance, and Night continues his child actor abuse by making his kids creepy to the point of laughability ("I think God did it" Gimme a break.)  The ending is the biggest load of crap ever: "Shit, the largest resource on the planet we just invaded is water, which happens to be our only weakness!"  This is bad, though as Bo aptly points out, it's not the crux of the film.  The film is about Gibson's internal conflict, which thanks to crappy writing still needs to be explained at the end ("His lungs were closed, that's why he had asthma!).  On the plus side, Night drops the patronizing "color" theme that plagued his last two films.  Also, by opting out of the complicated special effects that modern sci-fi directors seem so eager to impress us with, Night keeps the suspense high.  Unfortunately for him, it's not high enough to warrant a third viewing.  (I watch most films twice, don't be flattered).  Brilliant homages don't make great films; they merely reference them.

When I first talked to Evan about Signs, I listened carefully to his arguments; they were valid.  What he just wrote was a bunch of crap.  Communications school has changed you, Evan.  I could understand if your qualms were acting- or dialogue-related.  The movie does have an element of over-the-top dramatics.  But now you're falling for that same crappy "water argument" that isn't even befitting of the snot-covered left sleeve of a frat guy's Abercrombie shirt.  The conflict is internal, internal!  The aliens are sent down in order to reinvigorate Graham's waning faith, you jackass.  Even if the main conflict were "Man vs. Alien," maybe the aliens didn't know that a foreign substance would be deadly to them.  But that doesn't even matter, because Graham is fighting himself, not the aliens.  Moreover, the movie has several brilliant homages to E.T., Day of the Triffids, Night of the Living Dead, and The Birds.  Watch this movie, and understand its true theme.

Signs

This wanna-be tale of self-rediscovery and redemption would have been better as an HBO-style TV show.  Its wacky turn at the end ("Oh my god, it looks like he's giving him head!") just isn't suited to the dramatic feel of the rest of the film, and the events that transpire as a result are unbelievable at best.  The pivotal character Ricky is inconsistent: sometimes, he can see through suburbia into true beauty, but at other times he's merely a consumer who sells pot so he can buy big screen TVs.  To its credit, the film is beautifully shot, but it should take more than cinematographer Joseph Conrad to win the Best Picture Oscar.  American Beauty's real triumph was in pulling a modern day "Emperor's New Clothes."  Oscar judges didn't want people to think that they couldn't see the beauty of a plastic bag, even if it wasn't there, and excitedly voted it Best Picture to prove that they too could  "look closer."  Dorks.

Evan's right about American Beauty.  The teenage characters were forced stereotypes, as was the militant neighbor-dad and the psycho-recluse mom.  I would like to point out, however, that Kevin Spacey still manages to pull off a masterful performance in this mediocre film.

American Beauty

So that's that.  I want to thank Bo Shoemaker for his input.  Unlike some websites, I don't claim to be right all the time, and Bo has raised some good points in this forum.  If you would like more information on Bo, feel free to go to his website.  Thanks again buddy.