"Painless nightmares...thats all they mean to me, but you yourself I love oh why can't I see?" Trinity plainly sang out the words into the microphone in front of the empty auditorium in front of her. She was so tired and she just didn't feel like performing. She had already performed her upbeat songs with the dancers that had been hired and it didn't go so well. She and her dancers had to share a dressing room. There were 6 of them. 3 girls and 3 guys. The girls didn't like her very much, and the guys only acknowledged her when she came out in her skimpy stage outfit. She figured it was mostly her fault anyway, she didn't communicate with many people. Except Donna and Carol. Most of the people on the tour probably thought of her as stuck up. She couldn't blame them, she did act pretty snobbish most of the time. Never talked to anyone and walked by people with her nose in the air.
The producers and stage crew, even the Backstreet Boys themselves were all behind her on the stage watching her every move. And from the constant whispering she heard she knew her performance blew. A minute later the love ballad she just sang stopped, and silence filled the huge room. "Uh listen Trinity. I don't mean to sound uh...erm...well...to be blunt...I know you can do better. We're just not feeling the performance. Your not putting feeling or passion into your words. On the upbeat ballads you slacked off on the steps and-" Donna started, but Trinity interuppted. "Okay, okay. I get it. I'll try again." Trinity told her, irratated. She had the feeling she might be at one of those points where she almost lost it again. The point where she wanted to scream "I'm not Trinity Edwards, or a pop star so stop treating me this way!" When she saw the confused looks on all five of the Backstreet Boys who were lounging on plastic chairs and bean bags she knew what they were thinking "Why isn't she TRYING to sing? She wouldn't be doing it if she didn't love it would she? If she doesn't like it why doesn't she quit?" They thought she was doing it willingly. Well of course, everyone does. Except Donna and Johnny, and of course George.
She figured she better try this time, or she might give herself away. She didn't want to be exposed yet. Not after all the work George did to get her here. She sighed, letting her arms fall to her side as she turned around facing the empty seats in front of her once again. "Okay Donna. Start the music, I'm ready." She heard the love ballad come back on again, and let out a breath. She could do this. She could sing. She just needed to apply herself. She started the first verse, putting her heart into it. It was a love song, right? Well if she thought of someone she loved maybe it would help. Neils...she loved him. Well at least she thought she did. He was her best friend, her partner. She closed her eyes, letting the music go into her body for the first time. It took her two days to memorize this song, and until now she never really understood it.
She was so into the song she didn't hear someone come up behind her. She felt a strong hand place itself on her stomach, and she tensed. "Don't stop singing, keep going." A husky, deep voice instructed her. "I'm gonna help you through this ok? Now I'm gonna lightly press my hand up on your diaphragm, and thats where you get the power in your voice. Sing it from there, and your heart and you'll blow them all away." At first, the voice sounded like Kevin, but than it began to sound more like Neils. She let out a breath singing from where the hand on her diapragm was pushing. She thought about all the nights she spent with Neils, just talking and holding each other. Than she thought about the few times they had exchanged passionate kisses. Not being able to stop themselves. Soon, she didn't even think of what she was singing. The words just started to flow out of her, and nothing else mattered cause she was in her own state of mind. The hand holding her was so strong...and she couldn't help but reach up and place her own hand over the one just below her chest. Soon all Trinity could think about was Neils and how much he turned her on, and how no longer was the body that belonged to the strong hand was beside her, but was behind her, and her body was pressed back against it's chest.
Neils...her head whispered out. When the high point of the love ballad came where she was supposed to hit a high A and hold it for 20 seconds came she did it with ease thinking about the last time her and Neils saw each other. This is so easy...it's so...exhilarting and powerful, when you have your eyes closed, Neils on your mind, and him right behind you. Supporting you, protecting you. Trinity thought. Was it him? Of course its Neils, he's always there to protect you, and he's here now, taking you through this performance. Holding you so tight. Oh never let me go Neils. She ended the song, and music faded out. But she couldn't dare open her eyes. She didn't want to. Her chest was heaving, as well as the one behind her. She could feel his heartbeat on her back. It was so beautiful. The loud clapping, and cheering interuppted the peace for the strong arm around her left its place.
Opening her eyes, Trinity turned around seeing who she didn't expect. It had been, after all Kevin. He was looking at her with a grin on his face, and he patted her on the back. "I told you...from the heart...that was amazing." "Yeah! I don't know what you said to that woman, but god, it worked!" Her eyes widened as she saw A.J. approach her, clapping his hands. "Damn girl, you can SING! I had no damn clue. Thought you were another Mandy Moore or something. But no, you got that Mariah Carey thing goin on. Damn, that was just really good." Trinity couldn't utter out a word. Her stomach still was shaken up and her heart was beating triple time. She could have sworn it was Neils. Neils holding her, protecting her like always. But no, this time...it was Kevin Richardson. She looked at him two feet away, and she felt weak. She didn't understand where it was coming from. But a feeling she liked very much had just been exposed. Not in any of her years had this feeling ever come up.
Well shake it out! Your probably just feeling the feeling of victory. Her head told her. Agreeing with that, she smiled widley, and walked up to Donna. "Will that do?" Trinity asked. "That'll be just perfect.." Donna said, putting her hand on her shoulder and winking. She knew what that meant. Donna was saying, "George did the right thing." Johnny suddenly clapped his hands really loud, signaling for the commotion to stop and shouted out to everyone. "Alright, that was a great performance, but we still have two hours left of rehearsal! Lets get it done. Boys, your up!" She watched Nick, Howie, and Brian jump up from their bean bags and move up to their places on stage. Kevin looked back at her, giving her a thumbs up sign. She felt the corners of her mouth go up. She never took her eyes off him as she sat down on a plastic chair to finish out rehearsal.