The Joke Page
Why is it so hard for a woman to find a man who is sensitive,caring, and goodlooking?
Because he already has a boyfriend!!
Why are dumb blonde jokes generally one liners?
So men can enjoy them too.
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it!
Wife: You wear briefs don't you?
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half-hour of begging!
When God created men, she was joking!!
What do you do when the dishwasher won't work?
Kick her!
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just sit in the dark and bit** about it.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be open when she brings it to him.
Why can't you trust a woman?
How can you trust something that bleeds for a week and doesn't die?!
How many men does it take to change a roll of tiolet paper?
Who knows? It's never happened!
What do you get when you have 2 balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
Someone who lies awake all night wondering if there's a dog.
There's a brunette jumping up and down in the middle of the street counting "47, 47, 47"
A blonde walks up and decides this games could be fun. She asks the brunette if she can play too. So, the 2 jump up and down in the middle of the street counting "47, 47, 47".
Suddenly, the brunette jumps up on the curb, and the blonde gets hit by a truck. The brunette goes back out in the middle of the street. She starts jumping up and down counting "48, 48, 48"
Yesterday, after considering a recent analysis revealing the presence of female hormones in beer, several top scientists suggested that men take a look at their beer consumption. The theory is that drinking beer turns men into women. To test this theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer. it was then observed that 100% of these men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became oveerly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. It was decided that no further testing is needed.
What did the potato chip say to the battery?
If you're Everready, I'm Frito Lay!!
A teacher was telling his class how important it was for all of them to be there for the final exam, and no excuses would be accepted, except a doctor's note, or a death in the family. The class clown raised his hand and asked "Is sexual exhaustion considered an excuse?" The teacher responded with "Well then son, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand!"
What do a turtle and a blonde have in common?
Once they're on their back, they're screwed.
How do you know a blonde has been in the refridgerator?
There's lipstick on the cucumber.
Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?
Drinking on the job!
What do you get when you cross a rooster and a telephone pole?
A 30 foot cock that wnts to reach out and touch someone.
A kid asked his dad, "How did we get our names?" The dad replied, "When your brother was born, I looked outside and saw a running deer, so I named him Running Dear. When your sister was born, I looked outside and saw a flying dove, so I named her Flying Dove. Why do you ask Peeing Grandfather?"