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Friday, April 25, 2003 ::6:08am:: I'll be graduating next Saturday. I haven't changed much--not really. I still feel over- and underwhelmed about most things happening around me. I still look up at the stars, thankful for the reminder that I'm small in the grand scheme. But I know I've grown. I've lost some of my propensity for thinking and analyzing, a loss that really isn't a loss at all. I think I now know how people overcome that angry, angsty passion that is a symptom of that coming-of-age disease. They begin to realize they're not as different from everyone else as they once thought, and there's really no such thing as conformity. Sunday, April 13, 2003 ::6:38am:: I told myself I wouldn't write anything about him here until I felt I could do it properly, but I can't bear not to. I miss him. I miss my brother, Anthony. He was the light in the room. He was everything I've always wanted to become. ::6:03am:: I'm going to make spanikopitas today for a potluck. Wish me luck! ::5:06am:: I took an online inkblot test, and after I answered some multiple-choice questions, it said that my "unconscious mind is driven most by Peace." I think it's right. You are driven by a higher purpose than most people. You have a deeply-rooted desire to facilitate peacefulness in the world. Whether through subtle interactions with love ones, or through getting involved in social causes, it is important to you to influence the world. You are driven by a desire to encourage others to think about the positive side of things instead of focusing on the negative. The reason your unconscious is consumed by this might stem from an innate fear of war and turmoil. Thus, to avoid that uncomfortable place for you, your unconscious seeks out the peace in your environment. Usually, the thing that underlies this unconscious drive is a deep respect for humankind. You care about the future of the world, even beyond your own involvement in it. As a result, your personal integrity acts as a surrogate for your deeper drive toward peace and guides you in daily life towards decisions that are respectful toward yourself and others. Speaking of wanting to influence the world, I took the Foreign Service Written Exam yesterday. I'm not sure how I did--my political science and economics knowledge is a little dusty--but I think it would be absolutely fabulous to work as an FSO. In the long run, it won't matter how much money I make, if this or that guy likes me, or if I get my own apartment to decorate with my own knick-knacks. All that will matter to me is that I'm surrounded by peace, part of which is contentment with my place in the world. more of what Sarah's saying >> |
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