MIND GAMES
by Amanda
© 2000-2001

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE - NO WAY OUT

All five Backstreet Boys shifted restlessly in the cramped elevator, tense, the elevator chiming their descent with excruciating slowness. Finally the doors opened and they simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief, free from the cloying confines of one another.

A flood of screams assaulted their ears, flashes of light blinding them as they exited the elevator, stumbling back in surprise. Being the last one out, Brian received less of the impact and shielded his eyes, confused but not for long. Years of experience kicked in and he stepped away from the throng of excited fans, hearing the faint ding of the elevator door beginning to close behind him.

He lunged for the closing doors and impulsively grabbed the nearest guy standing in front of him, yanking hard. Caught off-balance AJ stumbled backwards, his body crashing into Brian's as they both fell to the elevator floor. He had but a moment to view the mayhem of agitated fans surrounding Nick, Kevin, and Howie before the doors closed, blocking the scene.

AJ nimbly jumped up, not noticing Brian's slumped form until a moan of pain caught his attention. Brian twisted around until he could sit up, holding his cast wrist upright and grimacing. AJ leaned down to help him up but Brian waved him off, nodding to the levels.

"Hit the highest floor, hurry!"

AJ understood immediately, and punched the 16th floor. They had been caught in similar circumstances before. The speed in which fans could climb stairways was amazing, and only through past experience had the guys learned to aim for the top floor instead of a few levels above.

Brian stood up on his own power, leaning heavily onto the side wall of the elevator as they watched the elevator ascend, opening with a quiet chime to announce their arrival at the 16th floor.

AJ eyed Brian critically. "You okay, man?"

Brian fished out two pills and popped them in his mouth. "I will be now," he said grimly and AJ frowned, uneasy with Brian's blunt answer. "Come on," Brian waved to AJ as they jogged down the softly-lit corridor. "Let's find a place to hide."

They came upon the first door, its gold lettering stating Miss Sherri's Dance Studio. "Uh, no, not that one," remarked AJ. Hurrying down the hallway, they glanced at the next. Longfellow's Family and Children's Service. Glancing at each other, they shook their heads. The next door was marked Kid Celebrations. "What's going on?" snorted AJ in disbelief as he stared at the sign. Brian went ahead, scanning each door.

He gave a sharp whistle, motioning AJ to come look. ABC Tax Service.

"Looks good to me!" AJ admitted. They quickly entered the small interior, startling the elderly receptionist. She stood up with difficulty, peering over her reading glasses as she scrutinized the two before her, taking in their rumpled appearance and especially AJ's various tattoos.

"We don't keep anymore than 20 cash on us," she quavered, her eyes nervously flickering back and forth between the two.

AJ stared at her dumbfounded and Brian put on his best smile, trying to ease the anxious woman before him. "Ma'am, we just need to use your office for a moment," he twanged, letting his polite Southern accent come into full force. He went on hurriedly, before she could object. "We're sorry to bother you. My name is Brian and this is AJ. We, uh, got separated, uh, from our group, and ahh…" Brian stumbled, noticing the confusion in her face.

"We got mobbed downstairs. Fans. We're in a group called the Backstreet Boys," interrupted AJ. "Ever heard of us?"

The silver-haired lady relaxed. "Of course, young man. I may be old but I'm not stupid!"

Brian smirked at AJ's embarrassment. "If you could let us hide out here for a while, we sure would appreciate it, miss…?" he questioned, indicating her name.

"Evelyn." With a flick of her hand she motioned to them. "Please, follow me." Brian and AJ trailed after her, entering a small room, a conference table taking up most of the space. "Will this do? Good. Can I get you anything? Coffee, soft drink?"

"Water. Water would be just fine, thanks," replied Brian. He could still taste the bitterness of the painkillers he swallowed.

"Okay." She shuffled away, pausing to touch AJ. "Too many tattoos, young man," she admonished.

AJ rolled his eyes, amused. "Yes, grandma," he teased. She waggled a playful finger at him as she left the room.

Brian went over to the window and pulled back the blinds, peering down.

"See anything?"

Brian shook his head, letting the blinds drop. "Nope. We're facing the north side, not the south."

"Wonder how the guys are doing."

Brian shook his head. "Don't know." He glanced at the phone sitting on the edge of the table and stretched out to snag it. "Guess I'll call Xavier to come get us."

Instantly AJ reached over and ripped the phone from Brian's hand. "No thanks. I'll call Eric," he said harshly. Brian met AJ's gaze, seeing the bitter hostility in his eyes.

"Whatever," he replied evenly and walked over to the farthest seat and sat down, examining his broken wrist. Evelyn came back with glasses of iced water in hand, noticing the sudden tension. "Everything alright?" she asked, handing Brian his glass, then to AJ who had hung up the phone.

"Fine, everything's fine, thanks." AJ took a sip of his water, noticing that Evelyn was staring intently at him. "What?" he asked, chafing under the scrutiny. "Do I smell or something?"

"I was just thinking. Maybe I should charge you for the water? You guys have sure cost me a pretty penny. I've got granddaughters, you know!" she teased, holding up four wrinkled fingers.

AJ relaxed, his mouth twisting in humor. "Evelyn...Evie," he pleaded, holding his hands out wide. "I'm forever in your debt. How ever can I thank you?"

Evelyn smacked his hand away gently. "Your charm won't work on me, you rascal," she scoffed laughingly. "Save it for the young ladies." Evelyn turned to see Brian sitting in silence, looking dejected. She suddenly felt a strong urge to give him a motherly hug but refrained, remembering her daughter's warnings that her maternal instincts always seemed to get her in some sort of trouble. She cleared her throat instead.

"Well, guess I should be getting back to my desk. You're welcome to stay as long as you want." She paused at the door, glanced at the two, then closed the door with a soft click.

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX – SHOWDOWN

Brian nervously picked at his fingers, feeling the concentrated stare of AJ burn right through him, the soft hiss of the heating unit the only sound that came between them.

He hoped help would arrive soon; the idea of being cooped up with AJ right now didn't appeal to him in the least. He glanced up quickly at AJ who was leaning against the edge of the conference table with his arms crossed, studying him. Sighing inwardly, he dropped his gaze, renewing fake interest in his hand.

AJ coughed loudly. "So, are you going to sit there like an idiot ignoring me, or do you want to talk?"

"Talk?" mumbled Brian, keeping his head down. "What about?"

"Oh, how about the way you just acted in the photography studio? Remember that? Or why you were sleeping outside Nick's door? What about that little surprise you pulled on stage?"

AJ's frustration grew as he watched Brian sitting quietly, not saying a word. He got up and walked over to Brian, slamming his hands down on the table with enough force to make it shake. "Maybe you could tell me just what the hell is wrong with you!"

Brian jumped up from his seat and turned away, rubbing his forehead tiredly with his hand. "There's nothing wrong with me, Bone."

AJ snorted in reply. "Yeah, right! Come on, Brian! Why are you doing this to yourself... to us?" Brian heard the catch of desperation in AJ's voice, the pleading. AJ's hand snaked around the upper part of Brian's arm, pulling him around to so that they were face to face. The hurt, the confusion was so plain that Brian could not bear to look at him and he shook off AJ's grip. He went over to the window, glancing down at the traffic below.

"You can't hide forever, B-Rok," AJ whispered. "This is tearing you apart. Can't you see that?" AJ took a step closer, eyeing him closely. "Brian....Brian!"

The young singer jerked his head back from the view and AJ sucked in his breath. There it was, all the pain, all the suffering, reflecting clearly in the anguished blue eyes of his friend.

"Just tell me what's wrong… please." AJ's reached out, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. Brian closed his eyes, forcing the tears back. If he spoke now, he knew there would be no stopping. He almost swayed with the longing, the wish to release all his fears and to be free of the constant agony he endured. AJ was close, so close to getting what he wanted that the enormity of it jolted Brian back to reality.

" I … I can't."

"You can't...or you won't?"

"Both."

Brian opened his eyes and AJ knew he had lost. The pain that was so evident a moment ago had disappeared, replaced with bright blue eyes of determination. AJ's mouth turned into a harsh smile as he slowly placed his glasses back on.

"Well, I guess that's it, huh?" he said. Brian could not see the bitterness, but heard it AJ's voice.

"Yeah,...I guess so."

They looked at one another, neither willing to say more. A tentative knock on the door announced Evelyn's return. She glanced back and forth at AJ and Brian, uncomfortable about interrupting an obviously awkward moment. "Um, there's someone here to get you," she informed.

AJ broke contact first, nodding. He turned to see Xavier enter and compressed his mouth into a thin line, the only sign visible of his displeasure at seeing the unwanted bodyguard.

"Where's Eric?" he asked stiffly.

"He's handling things downstairs with the guys. It got pretty crazy." Xavier disregarded AJ, looking straight at Brian. "You okay?"

Brian ignored the question and asked one of his own. "Anyone get hurt?"

"Nick."

Xavier heard their sharp intake of alarm and motioned for them to hurry and follow him. "He's going be okay. We're checking him out right now. Nick was the only one injured; none of the fans were, thank goodness. Come on." He gave Brian a tight smile as they headed down the hall.

Brian felt his heart pound with fear, understanding all too well Xavier's look. Xavier had warned him that he wouldn't be able to keep Nick safe. And he hadn't. With a deepening dread he walked faster, not wanting know what Xavier had done to Nick. He knew he would find out soon enough.

CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN – SEPARATION

"Does it hurt here?"

"Ow, yes, dammit!" Nick scowled at Kevin, trying to swat away the older Backstreet Boy's hand. "Get away!"

Wincing, he carefully peeled away his sock to reveal an ugly bruise forming at the base of his middle toe. Kevin and Howie bent over to take a better look.

"It's broken," he wailed, touching it gingerly.

"How do you know?" questioned Howie.

Nick glared at him. "Because it feels like it!" he shouted. "Jeez!"

Kevin placed a reassuring arm on Nick's shoulder, relieved. With the mauling Nick had received, it was a wonder he hadn't been injured more severely. "You were lucky."

"He was damn lucky," commented Xavier dryly.

Heads turned as they saw AJ and Brian entering the room; Xavier leaning in the doorway, his arms crossed. Brian sensed the frustration in Xavier's voice and knew that the bodyguard had intended for something more serious to occur.

AJ shook his head. "What happened, Nick?"

"Well, as soon as we got off the elevator, I got mobbed. I felt someone grab me and pull. Since it was a guy's hand, I thought it was Xavier, ya know? Trying to help me. But it wasn't. It was some other dude, and he kept punching me! I tried to jerk away, but he was strong. Then all of a sudden he let go. I think he got pushed outta the way by a bunch of girls. Anyway, I heard Kevin and Xavier yelling at me to run. I managed to break free, but not before I tripped. I smashed my foot into something."

Nick gazed intently at his left foot, experimentally wiggling his toes, then grimaced. He looked up at AJ. "Yeah, it was weird, like that dude wanted to hurt me instead of grab at me like most of the fans try to do. I don't know…." Nick shrugged, at a loss. "I wonder how the fans knew where we were? We usually don't get ambushed that easily."

Carefully keeping a straight face, Brian leaned over, examining Nick up and down, thanking God that things didn't go the way Xavier had planned. Except for being extremely irritated, Nick looked fine. A wave of indescribable euphoria washed over him and he gave a relieved laugh.

Nick stared at Brian, a weird expression crossing his face.

"I shoulda known you would laugh," he sneered. "It wouldn't surprise me if you planned it."

Brian froze, his smile evaporating. The other three shifted uneasily, stunned by the vehemence in Nick's voice.

"Nick…hey, I wouldn't do that…why would you think I'd try to hurt you?" The disbelief in Brian's voice was unmistakable.

"Oh, I don't know," Nick jeered, "Maybe finding you outside my door with a switchblade has made me a little paranoid! What do you think?"

So that's where it went, thought Brian. He opened his mouth, then closed it, slumping in defeat. There was no way he could explain. He met Nick's angry gaze and said nothing, backing slowly away from him. Nick shook his head disgustedly, taking Brian's silence as admission to his guilt. Glaring meaningfully at AJ, Kevin, and Howie, Nick's eyes dared them to object. None did.

Brian turned to each one, hoping, praying for a flicker of support. Kevin stared back, his distaste evident. Howie bowed his head, his gesture saying more than words could. AJ was unreadable, his face set in stone. Brian nodded numbly. The damage was done, complete. Brian turned stiffly away, meeting Xavier at the door, feeling the burn of Xavier's smug satisfaction.

"Let's go," he said lifelessly.

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