"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Master PImp. Here's my card." He hands over a small card that says: Master Pimp's Pimp Palace-the best place for unrestrained ecstasy. Phone number: 1-800-696969."
"They send a pimp to fight me? What is this?" Kaede sneers.
"This is the Tournament. Your name is Kaede right? Make the first move. And that's Rule #1 of pimping, gentlemen. Chicks go first in
Kaede narrows her eyes. Whipping out a kunai she flings it with unerring accuracy and clips off the feather on Master Pimp's hat.
"Whoa babe that was not cool." Master Pimp replies, keeping a firm grip on his pimp cane. "If you wanted me to shave you could have just asked. I know some girls who like it that way - it's nothing to be ashamed of." The crowd roars. Kaede leaps at Master Pimp, drawing her knife. Master Pimp parries it with his pimp cane, then swings at at Kaede's head. The ninja ducks, then rolls to the side to avoid a downward strike. All this Master Pimp does with one hand behind his back. As Kaede rolls she slashes at Master Pimp's legs. The Pimp extraordinaire jumps up and strikes downward again, only to have his cane set aside and barely avoids a stab from Kaede's knife. As he turns he jumps up and aims a kick to Kaede's face. It connects and Kaede is knocked on her back.
"You need to get in that position more often." Master Pimp taunts. Kaede does a spin kick that catches Master Pimp in the leg and trips him.
"When I do you will be the last person who gets some from me." Kaede spits as she does a really cool looking flip and lands upright, bringing her hands into the snake stance.
"Snake stance eh?" Master Pimp flips himself upright and gets into a sword-fighting stance, holding his cane back in his right hand, his weight on his right leg, and his left hand is clenched into a fist except for the first two fingers. He lunges in a standard fencing move, then slashes left and right, left and right. Kaede blocks all of the strikes, then ducks under a thrust. She slides between his legs, then tries to castrate him. "Holy sh*t!" Master Pimp yells as he tries to jump up. He avoids the knife stab, but as he lands Kaede suddenly does a flip kick and her legs nail him in the balls.
"Ow SCHEISSE!" Master Pimp curses as he clutches his manhood. "Now I know how those people who appear on America's Funniest Home Videos feel. You leave me no choice." He takes his left hand out of his pocket. The wind blows, lifting up his cape in a really cool looking way. In his left hand is a pistol. "I didn't want to win this way, but you made this happen." He fires and it hits Kaede in the leg, then the knife arm, and then the other arm. Limping towards her he taps her acupuncture points with his cane, rendering her unconscious. Master Pimp picks her up. Use your sinful imagination to picture what comes next. "She's pretty hot. Guess I got another 'recruit.'"
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