×Cattle Humor×
**THESE JOKES ARE NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE AND ARE NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!**
-Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city.
The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."
-Sure fire signs that your cow has mad-cow disease...
Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.
She refuses to let you milk her, saying "Not on the first date."
Your cow takes up painting and cuts off one of its ears.
Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.
Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow's body.
Your cow demands to be branded with the 'Golden Archs Logo'.
Your cow insists that all Hindus are sacred.
Your cow insists evaporated milk comes from thirsty cows.
Your cow quits the family dairy business and applies for a job at Burger King.
She starts giving you Milk of Amnesia.
Your cow joins the Hell's Angels because, hey, it already has a cool leather jacket.
Your cow starts smoking its grass rather than eating it.
Your cow spends half the day sitting in the Lotus Position chanting "MOO" backwards.
Your cow insists that it can give you chocolate milk if you started feeding it Hershey bars.
Your cow asks you to brand it again but only if you'll wear something sexy this time.
Your cow purposely blinds itself with a dart and yells "Bullseye"!
Your cow becomes a Muslim and asks to be called "LaCream Abdul Milkbar".
Your cow insists Milk Duds are the result of stupid cows.
Your cow starts laughing hysterically until milk spurts out its nose.
Your cow keeps wanting to chew other cows cuds.
Your cow believes it could really jump over the moon like in the nursery rhyme if it had a really good run at it.
-Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out"?
-Did you know that those round bales of hay that you see in the fields were banned in Ohio?
Why, you ask?
Because the cows weren't getting a square meal!
-Why is a barn so noisy?
All the cows have horns.
-Why don't cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
**Some of these Fun Facts Came From:
http://www.butlerwebs.com/animals/cows.htm#Did%20You%20Know?%20Fun%20Facts **
|
