In the spring of 1978 I turned 18 years old. That was the year I got sick. At first I thought maybe I'd sprained my back, or possibly "thrown" it out of whack. But it was the beginning of Fibromyalgia (known as FM for short). Like most people with FM, you go from doctor to doctor hoping someone knows what you've got, and can prescribe something to make it feel better. However, FM doesn't show up on x-rays or in blood work. Add to the fact that most doctors still think of FM as being "all in your head" you can see why it takes a FM patient 5-7 years to be properly diagnosed. It took me 10 years to be properly diagnosed. By then I was elated just to have a name for it.

I've had FM now for 28 years. I probably know more about it than most of the doctors I've been to over the years. (lol) I've gone from needing a little help to walk, to using a cane, to using forearm crutches, and now to my wheelchair. It's amazing what you can adjust to when there isn't any choice. For more on FM you can check out my FM/CFS/ME RESOURCES website. What it all boils down to is this: there is no cure for FM. Once you get that through your head and move on, life takes shape in a different way. Kind of like the old adage, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Everyone finds a way to handle the difficult things in life. For me, I try to stay optimistic. I know what my limitations are, and I try to stay focused on anything besides the pain. Sometimes it almost works. (lol)

One thing that helped me, was to get out of my abusive marriage. We'd been married only 2 years when he began to change. Little by little the abuse grew over the years. By our 12th anniversary I was planning my suicide. At that point I was in a wheelchair full time, unable to work, with no means of support if I left. I'd mentioned to a person online one night just how hopeless I felt, and what my plans were. My new friend told me to check with a lawyer, I might be eligible for alimony. I talked to several lawyers before I found one who would work with me. I did indeed get alimony. That, along with my small Social Security disability check almost pays the bills.

In September of 1999 my Mom left South Carolina and moved to south Florida. When she left S.C. I was living alone in an apartment with my dog Jack. Being in a wheelchair full time I was unable to take care of myself....getting groceries, doing laundry....just the little things we all take for granted. I decided I needed to leave S.C. and start my new life someplace else. I looked at apartments in Florida and quickly realized I'd never be able to afford to move. That's when my Mom suggested I move in with her. We've been here for 8 years now. We both like it a lot, aside from the yearly hurricanes.

Eighteen months ago I met a wonderful man online. It started out as a nice little friendship and has since blossomed into something much more. I love this man more than life itself, and thankfully he feels the same about me. I can't imagine my life without him. He's given me the love, security, and comfort I've looked for all my life. Life is very good. :)