Botan's Stalker
by Reiko
Chapter 6
/"You'll never get away this time..."/
"Botan!"
Botan blinked only to find George Saotome hopping in front of her in an attempt to get her attentions. She frowned at him as she tried getting her thoughts back together. George rolled his eyes.
"I have been calling you for the third time, you know." He said.
"Did you hear that?" She asked. When George frowned with confusion, Botan shook her head as a sign of dismissal. So what else is new? "At least now the voice found something to say other than "I'm gonna get you." She thought sarcastically, getting used to it.
"Are you all right, Botan-chan?"
"Y-yes." She replied haltingly. When George's frown deepened, she forced out a cheerful smile. "What can I do for you?" She asked brightly.
"Are you sure you're all right?" Koenma's blue oni asked again, concern evident on his face. "After the incident, you know, with your room and all..." His voice trailed off upon noting the sudden fear that crossed Botan's feature.
"I- I mean that it was a good thing that Koenma..." He began quickly. But the damage has already been done. George felt like hitting himself upon seeing Botan's clouded face before him.
"I-- you know-- K- Koenma-sama needs you." He said instead. Then without another word, he turned around and quickly left her to her own thoughts.Botan looked after him, the fear turning quickly into puzzlement. Koenma-sama wants to see her now? After the way he has been treating her lately? She shook her head and wondered just what is going on inside her boss' head this time.
Sure, Koenma-sama's been very helpful the night she was supposed to be attacked, kind and gentle in fact. Then without warning, he became irritable again, grouchy-- he even yelled at her for some reason she couldn't fathom! Well yes, she's used to it by now but after feeling the tenderness he had displayed four nights ago... She stopped abruptly.
"Who do you think you are anyway?" She scolded herself as she gruffly went back to her filing. "You think Koenma-sama likes you that much enough to forget that you're a stupid ferry girl and he's a prince?" She added. Then she stopped.
"Am I expecting too much?" She found herself asking. "What am I feeling? Can I be--"
She immediately shook her head. No she won't even go do that! That would be absurd! Just think, she falling in love with a prince? No make it a grouchy, ill-tempered prince! A prince soon to be married?
With that, a sharp pang of pain sliced her heart. So did she just imagine his concern over her when he summoned Yusuke and the rest of the tanteis the morning after the incident and ordered them to investigate the matter immediately? Did she just dream his arms around her, his lips whispering words of comfort when she sat there, all shaking and trembling with fright? How about the way he looks at her now?
Oftentimes he would be staring at her with those golden brown eyes of his, following her every move that it makes her utterly uneasy and clumsy. And there are times that she would catch his eyes looking at her quite... well, heatedly that it made her blush with fear, shyness and excitement at the same time. She felt like being 'undressed' mentally and it thrilled her to think that Koenma finds her desirable and alluring.
"And then he would yell at me again." She finished loudly. She just can't understand him. With that she dropped the stack of papers on the floor grumpily.
"This is really hopeless!" She exclaimed.
"What's hopeless?"
Botan spun around only to find the stern expression on Koenma's face by the doorway. She blushed and cleared her throat noisily.
"Nothing." She answered hastily, standing up. She wondered just how long Koenma's been standing there. "Did he hear me?" She asked herself nervously.
"If you think that filing my papers is hopeless then I could arrange for you to work somewhere else." Came his nasty reply.
Botan looked down. "G- gomen nasai, Koenma-sama but that's not what I had meant." She said softly.
"Then what?" He asked.
"I- I just..." Then she stopped and looked up at him, her eyes settling on his. "Did- did I do something to displease you lately Koenma-sama?" She asked haltingly.
"Now you ask me?" He thought bitterly. He looked at her angrily. He wanted to yell at her for being insensitive, for being unfeeling. He wanted to tell her right then and there that he doesn't want to play her stupid games anymore! Sneaking every midnight, making love, warm and tender nights, then coldness in the morning, acting as if nothing happened... it really hurts.
After the second night, he was sure that it wasn't a dream! Dreams like that aren't supposed to happen four consecutive times. And besides he would always find one of her hair ribbons on the floor or her robe against his chair or just about anything that belongs to her when he wakes up every morning. Everything was real! Somehow he thought that this would change everything. But no, it was just a game. A stupid game of 'I Can Get the Prince of Rei Kai to Sleep with Me and Ignore Him In the Morning'. For all he knows she might be laughing at him right now, seeing him like this.
But then he has no one but himself to blame. He had easily let himself succumb to her charms, let his guards down. He was just so powerless to stop it knowing for the fact that he might already be falling in love with her. But deep inside there were no regrets. He wanted it. It was just really plain stupid of him to think that they BOTH wanted it, that she also felt the same way. Such thoughts brought fresh waves of pain within him.
"Gomen nasai." She said softly upon seeing the enraged look on his face.
"Why are you saying that?" He asked harshly.
Botan's lips trembled slightly. "I- I don't know... " She began her eyes moistening. "Koenma-sama, please tell me. Just what did I do? I just-- "
"Stop it, Botan." He said coldly. "What do you care anyway?"
"I do care!" She answered loudly. "I care because-- because-- "
"What?" Koenma's voice rose in anger. At that, Botan felt her patience running out. She turned to him furiously.
"You know what?" She asked stepping back. "This is getting stupid! You yell and snap at me for reasons that I don't even know, you-- you get angry with me for something I can't' even understand Well, I'm sick and tired of it! I have feelings too you know!" She said her voice quivering.
"You have feelings!? YOU have feelings!?" Yelled Koenma. "What about me!? Do you think that I'm just an insensitive bastard who likes to order and boss people around!?"
"Yes!" She answered back, tears stinging her eyes. "You are an insensitive bastard! You-- you..." She couldn't continue any longer as two fat tears rolled down her cheeks.
Her words stung. How could he tell her that he didn't mean to be like that? That being angry was just a way of covering up for his feelings, a way to retain his pride, to show her he's unaffected? With that Koenma looked away, the sight of her crying in front of him hurting him even more.
"I don't know you anymore." He said quietly instead.
"Well, I don't understand you anymore. Tell me please." She pleaded.
"Don't play innocent with me, Botan." Koenma said warningly. Then more softly he added, "I love you don't you see?"
With that Botan stared at him, her eyes wide with shock. She felt her whole body tremble as she sagged to the floor, crying harder.
"Now you are lying to me." She said between sobs.
"You don't need to cry, Botan or to believe." Koenma said icily, his voice rich with pain and bitterness. "It's my fault and not yours. I let myself fall in love with you and-- "
"You are getting married."
"Sadly, yes.
"Then why tell me now?"
"I-- just had to."
"Damn you."
"Fine! If that's what you think of me!"
"Please, go away. Leave me alone." She said softly.
"As you wish."
Then without a word, he turned around and walked outside the room, slamming the door behind him.
==========
"May I have a word with you, Botan-chan?"
Botan stopped abruptly in her tracks upon hearing the soft, cool voice behind her. She turned around only to see Sayuri smiling sweetly at her. She nodded her head.
"My you are getting jumpy these past few weeks." She said mildly, raising an eyebrow.
"W-what about, Sayuri-chan?" She asked. Then to her surprise, Sayuri's eyes narrowed slightly, but nevertheless she continued smiling.
"This way." She said motioning for her to follow. Botan then dragged herself behind her. They walked across the hall only to stop at the door of Koenma's office. She opened it and motioned for her to go inside. She hesitated. Would it be a good idea to see him now after the fight they had yesterday?
"Botan?" Sayuri lightly touched her arm. "Are you all right? Don't you wanna go in?"
Botan blinked. "O-oh... um yeah." She smiled sheepishly and went inside, Sayuri following close.
"I'm sorry for bothering you, Botan." Sayuri asked closing the door behind her gently.
"No, its okay." She said turning to her. "Where's Koenma-sama by the way?" She asked noticing the empty chair by the desk. She tried her best to sound nonchalant. But nevertheless there was relief in her voice. "Errand?"
"No, not quite." Sayuri replied silkily. "He went to see my father, you know, for the upcoming wedding." Then she smiled, sitting down. "Please, have a sit."
Botan took a sit across from her. She felt her insides turning cold with the words. Something is terribly wrong here. But she found herself actually forcing out a smile.
"I'm- I'm glad." She said. Sayuri smiled pleasantly at her.
"Thank you." She said delicately. "Botan, I know just how loyal you are to Enma-sama and to Koenma." She paused as Botan nodded her head in agreement. "And you are also aware that this marriage would really bring about great things for Koenma, ne? Just imagine what this union would do to him, opportunities and the likes."
"H- hai."
"Do you want to see him happy?"
"Of course."
"Good." She answered smiling at her. Then she stood up. "Because this marriage will make him happy. You understand it don't you?" She added walking towards the door.
"Yes." Botan replied faintly, her chest twisting with so much pain.
Sayuri opened the door and was about to go when she suddenly remembered something. She turned to Botan once again.
"Oh and before I forget. Don't do anything stupid, now Botan dear. You might regret everything." And with that, she gave her an angelic smile and stepped out, leaving Botan staring after her."Was that a threat or a warning?" She asked herself. "And what did she mean by regretting everything?"
She shook her head. What is happening to her? What's going on? And to make matters worst, she felt the pair of cold eyes again, watching her, observing her. A loud laughter suddenly rang inside her head.
/"Almost there, Botan! Almost there!"/
"Drink." She thought standing up. She tried her best walking even though her knees all felt wobbly and shaky. "I need a drink." She said hoarsely stepping out of the office.