Sacrifices  

By Melpomene

 

Eighth Chapter

That's What I'm Telling You

BOTAN WAS VERY much confused when at last she came to. Her brain was filled with images of multicolored chemicals, vials of different shapes and sizes, big furry rats, long winding passages and tiny edible-looking jewelry.  Then, in one fleeting moment, they merged into each other and fluttered away into the realm where forgotten memories are locked away.

She opened her eyes slowly, waiting for them to focus and for her vision to become clearer. She lay still, waiting for everything to fall into place. A little later, she was already steady enough, both physically and in thinking, to notice things about her.

She's in a clinic, or rather, the clinic. The Castle Styx has it's own private clinic and this is it. She recognized it from the few times she visited her new pal, a fellow servant who went down with flu last week.

She scanned the whole place starting form the fluorescent lamp in the ceiling, down to the stainless white curtains that kept her privacy. Beside her are medical apparatuses and the basic things one sees in such places. Finally, she looked at herself, wrapped in the same white linen. In doing so, she noticed she was still fully dressed in her pink kimono, the one she once wore as her uniform as a spirit guide.

She stood up, hoisting herself into a sitting position, her legs dangling a few inches from the tiled floor. She leapt down, momentarily stunned by the coldness of the floor against her bare feet.

"Oh, Miss Ryo," she called, poking her head through the drapes.

Soon the round jolly old nurse came bounding in, rosy and energetic as usual. She fussed with Botan for a while then gave her something to eat. After the quick snack, the kind lady gave the girl her two-toed socks and sandals.

"You better go to Sir Ieyasu," she said finally. "It was he who found you."

Botan's mouth dropped open.

"Mr. Personality?" she muttered.

BOTAN STOOD BEFORE the heavy wooden door, hand positioned to knock, mouth slightly open, preparing to call out.

"Ah-" she started.

She suddenly turned away fists clenched, eyes screwed tight.

"No," she muttered through clenched teeth. "I can't do it."

She started tiptoeing away.

"Good. There you are."

Botan froze. She turned around timidly, bracing herself for the inevitable. There in front of her stood a tall man. She couldn't distinguish which of the Yoshio brothers it was. He was standing against the light coming from the interior of his office.

"Well?" said the soft almost crooning voice. "Come in."

Botan followed without another sound. She nearly slipped off the chair, the smooth cloth of her kimono being frictionless against the leather covering of the cushioned company chair. She sat quietly with her head bowed, her eyes following her master as he sat behind his table.

"And how are you, young lady?" Ieyasu started.

Young lady, thought Botan. He can't be that much older than me. At least, he looks young, probably a few years older than Koenma-sama. Then again, we're all ageless anyway.

"Fine, sir," she tried to say calmly but her voice came out like a squeak.

Ieyasu chuckled coolly. "Miss Botan, it would do you much good if you ease up a bit. I don't bite, see?"

Botan tried to laugh along. She looked up but avoided Ieyasu's eyes.

"I'm alright, sir," she said. "I'm just confused, that's all."

"Don't worry," he drawled. "Nothing happened to you, kid."

Kid? "What happened sir?"

"Shouldn't I be the one asking that?"

"I don’t remember sir." She lied. Well, it wasn't exactly a lie. Her memory was too blurry to make out.

"Well, a houseboy found you in near an abandoned privy in west wing. You must have fainted because of the smell."

"Excuse me?" Botan looked ready to puke.

"Just kidding." Ieyasu grinned evilly. "The guards found you unconscious around the eastern part of the mansion. You must have slipped and hit your head."

Botan realized he's right. She felt a rhythmic persistent throbbing at the back of her head. She only noticed it now because it's quite light. She felt her nape and came upon a swollen bump forming underneath the mass of hair.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, no. Nothing more than a bruise, sir."

"Ah, all it needs is a little ice." He stood up, took his handkerchief from his pocket and walked to the fridge in a corner of the room.

"Oh, no sir. Don't bother really."      

"Don't worry, kid. I haven't even used this." He took out some ice, wrapped it with the hanky and handed it to her. He went back to his seat, wiping his wet hands on a cloth en route.

"Thank you very much." Botan applied the compress to her injury slightly ashamed of the unmistakable dislike she felt towards her master. "I really am sorry for causing you much trouble, sir."

"The mansion is quite a maze you know. Even your mistress gets lost easily. I suggest you two go exploring on your free time but please don't wander alone."          

"Yes, sir."

"Was the prince this lax to you?"

"Sir?"

"Does he let you run amok around the palace?"

"No, sir. There are quite a number of places restricted even to us ferry girls."

"Hmmm… You and your former boss were really close then, eh?"

Botan shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I did spend a lot of time with him, if that's what you mean, sir. He was my boss."

"No. I mean, your relationship goes beyond that of the professional side."

"Well, yes, we are friends. We were much like the way Miss Masago and I are right now."

"Mmm…" Ieyasu nodded knowingly. "I see. You see it that way. You all do." He leaned back to his seat. "My sister does enjoy you company. Tell me, whose do you prefer?"

"Professionally? Well, I must confess I like working for the government better. See, I was trained to guide spirits and I guess even though the workload is much lighter here, I like it there better."

"Hmmm…"

"Don't get me wrong. I love Miss Masago. She's such a darling and as for your question a while ago, I prefer her for a boss, honestly."

"Why is that?"

Botan fidgeted again. "Well, Koenma-sama is usually severe. Don't you agree, sir?"

"True. But you do love Koenma as well, don't you?"

Botan was taken a back. "Well, I suppose so. I've grown genuinely fond of him as the years passed and I do love him like a brother."

"Are you sure he in turn loves you like a sister?"

Botan didn't say anything.

"One thing I'm sure of is that something is preventing him from at least trying to love my sister as a woman. Apparently, he gave Masago the place you claim to have, the place of a sister."    

Botan was finally able to speak. "What are you driving at?"

"What does that make you?"

"A friend," Botan said simply.

"I'm sure that's what we all want to think, especially you. Of course, that would be denying the truth. You know as well as I do, you occupy his heart which is why he doesn’t even attempt to woe Masago."

"What are you implying, sir? That it's my fault? I-"

Ieyasu held up his hand, signaling for silence. "No. Nobody can control what another feels. You are in a state of denial but that doesn't mean you don’t return his affection. I think you'd agree with me. You know very well Koenma-sama's responsibilities. You know what would happen if you pursue your relationship. That's why you try to think of him as your brother, although you love him differently."

Botan's face was flushed. "I don't know where you got that idea, sir. But I assure you I am not the reason why both of them are rebelling against the customs. It's their decision."

"Yes. In fact, I have you to thank for talking my sister into cooperating. I know it's not your fault. You wouldn't have taught Masago how to handle the prince otherwise."

"I'm just trying to help my friends." Botan was on the verge of tears. She was caught in the center of being confused, scared and angry. "I'm not doing anything wrong. Besides, it's their business. I've nothing to do with it."

"Hmm…" Ieyasu stroked his chin. "You're right. It's their private lives. But Koenma-sama is the Prince of Reikai. His decisions affect the whole land. Reikai will be the one to pay for his mistakes."

Botan fumed in silence, head bowed.

"You may go," said Ieyasu. "Masago may come soon. If you don't believe me, ask her. Good evening."

With at that, he motioned for Botan to leave. He turned away from her, twisting the rotating chair to face the window. Botan left with out being prodded once more.

Why do they think of me as the culprit, she thought. Even Keiko thinks the same way…

What if it's true? What if Koenma really is in love with her? What if he insists on marrying her instead of Masago? What will happen then?

Before Botan's head can get any clearer, a voice called out from behind her.

"Botan?" it said. "Is that you?"

Botan spun around quickly, gazing warily at the newcomer. It was only Masago.

"Oh hello," she said, trying to hide her shakiness.

"Hi," greeted Masago. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just wandering around."        

"Oh. You wouldn't mind going out into the veranda now, would you?"

"Of course not."

"Maybe we should get a jacket first or something."

"Sure. You're back so soon, Miss Masago."

"Yeah, well, Koenma-sama's pretty busy."

Botan turned away. "I see."

    

SOON ENOUGH, THE two girls were seated outside Masago's room in her balcony. Masago is seated on the silver chair, while Botan braided her hair.

"You shouldn't bother, Botan," said Masago presently. "It's too dark. You probably can't see a thing."

Botan pulled the rubber band from her own ponytail and used it to seal the pigtail of her mistress.

"There," she said. "All done."

Masago pivoted to look at Botan.

"Look at what you did," she said, seeing Botan's loose hair. "You ruined your hairdo!"

She stood up and shoved Botan to the seat. The latter protested, forcing her way to stand up.

"No," insisted Masago. "Be still an let me comb your hair. I've never done it before. I mean, on someone else's head."

She started running the brush through Botan's hair, letting stoke after stroke gently travel across the waves. Botan didn't bother to resist anymore.

"Miss Masago," she murmured. "You're too kind, really. You make me feel guilty."

"Why is that, dear?" asked Masago, surprised.

"Hmmm…"

Silence followed. Botan watched as the last traces of the sun disappeared and evening settled in. Masago, however, continued her labor of love. Botan relaxed gradually as the teeth of the brush massaged her aching head.

It was Masago who broke the silence a little while later.

"Um," she started. "Koenma asked about you."

Botan's heart leapt to her throat upon hearing of the controversial name. Her relaxed nature retreated to its shell, replaced by a jittery and agitated one. However, she forced herself to remain in control and to let no reaction register on her countenance.

"Really?" she managed to say almost haughtily. "He still remembers me?" She laughed nervously.

"Yes. Truly," answered Masago. She was surprised by her friend's unaffectedness. However, she also felt Botan stiffen earlier when Koenma's name was mentioned. Is it jealousy, Masago wondered.

You two went to Falcon Ridge, right? Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes. It was divine. The view is so breathtaking and awesome. You ought to come with us the next time."

"Nah. I'd probably just get on your way."

Masago snorted. "You know very well our relationship is nowhere near romantic. In fact, I've taken to calling him big brother."

Botan drew in air sharply. However, she spoke before Masago could react. "You would have to stop that once you two get hitched. You can't call your husband big brother. Or your beau for that matter."

"Beau? It’s almost like I'm the suitor and not him." She chuckled. "But I like it," she said decidedly. "Besides, I told you I'm not marrying him."

"I sympathize with you, madam, but you have no other choice."

"I'm serious," replied Masago astutely. Botan gasped. "I'm not marrying him."

"Why not?" Botan felt like fainting but managed to convey the inquiry nonetheless. "That's not for you to decide."

"Isn't?" Masago's voice had a rather sharp edge to it. "It's my life, is it not?"

Botan took a few moments to recover. "But you used to be at least open to the idea. I mean, why the sudden change of heart?"

"Yes. Since we were getting along alright, I thought then that maybe we can learn to become husband and wife. But then I realized that there might come a day when either one of us will find the person we truly love. It will only cause unnecessary pain for both of us, and for the kingdom, trouble."

"I see," said Botan meekly.

"Besides…"

Botan perked up slightly in dread.

"… Koenma-sama already found his."

Silence. Masago immediately turned to Botan to see her reaction. She was shocked by the girl's expression. Sure, she expected a guilty blush but Botan's face was plain frightful. It wasn't one that intimidates, but one that makes a person worried and concerned.

Botan was pale and motionless, her eyes wide open and staring. It was already dark and Masago was straining to see. Nonetheless, she saw how tightly Botan clutched at her dress, her knuckles white and shaking.

"Botan?" Masago asked tactfully. "Is there something wrong?"

The ordinarily cheerful young woman, however, heard nothing of her mistress inquiry. All she heard was the voice of Yoshio Ieyasu's creepy yet somewhat soothing croon, chanting repeatedly.

Reikai will pay…

Reikai will pay for you crimes.

…will pay for your crimes.

… your crimes.

CRIMES

"Miss Masago!"

Masago nearly jumped out of her skin in surprise. She stood still where she was, watching carefully and fearfully.

Botan flung herself on the floor before Masago. The latter flinched as her friend's hand touched hers accidentally. It was deathly cold , wet and clammy.

"Botan?" Masago managed to blurt out.

"Requesting permission to obtain my accumulated leave," she yelled, head bowed.

"Well, yes, of course-"

"Thank you very much, mistress."

With that, her oar materialized and off she flew.

Masago watched as her only real friend disappeared in the horizon.

"Botan…"

Previous Chapter    Next Chapter

Back to Fanfics