| CAST Hamlet-Jack Ophelia-Sarah Polonious-Jaconious (Jacobs/Pononius? Shut up it was hard!) Laertes- Davie Rosencrantz & Guildenstern- Jake & Crutchy Horatio- Racetrack Claudius- Denton King Hamlet- Kloppman Queen Gertrude- Medda Fortinbras- Spot Note: The story line belongs to Shakespear...well I embelished a little...but yeah it's his...I doubt he will sue me but oh well...**shrugs** Act I Scene 1 "I’m glad dat ya came Race," Blink told him. "We’se been keepin’ watch heah evah since…well…ya know…" "Not a problem. Nice to see you Blink. You too, Mush," Racetrack said. "Wow, dat schoolin’s done a lot fer ya! Ya don’t got an accent or nothin’," Mush commented. Racetrack grinned. "I’m glad you noticed. So what seems to be the problem?" "Well, yer gunna think we’se crazy but every night when da clock strikes one a ghoat appeahs," Blink told him. "A ghost? That’s somewhat odd…" Racetrack thought for a moment then shrugged. "So it’s almost one. Let’s see dis ghost!" Just then the old clock struck one, and sure enough a ghost floated from the upstairs. Racetrack stared at it in shock. "Hey, you guys were actually right. You know, it looks an awful lot like Kloppman." Blink and Mush turned their heads in different angles. "Ya know he’s kinda right," Much commented to Blink. Blink squinted. "I dunno…" Racetrack rolled his eyes. "Who is the brains of this operation? It’s Kloppman." "So, now what?" Racetrack shrugged. "The hell if I know," he said, watching the ghost disappear through the wall. "What dose this mean?" Mush asked. "Nothing good. Something is rotten in the city of New York," Racetrack told them. "We better go get Jack. Maybe Kloppman will talk to his son." Blink and Mush nodded. Act I Scene 2 The next morning we find ourselves in the Manhattan Lodging House, early in the morning. "I admit that it is sad that my dear brother, Kloppman, has died," Brian Denton told his group of newsies. "But I felt that it was my duty to come and take over since my dear sister-in-law and now wife could not take care of it hreself. And now, with the threat of Brooklyn trying to recapture lands that Kloppman captured before his unfortunate death I will take on the respoinsibility, myself. I want to thank you boys for your support through all this." "He shoah does talk a lot," Boots muttered to no one in particular. "Boots," Denton said. "I’m sending you to Brooklyn to give this letter to the owner of Spot’s house. Inform him of the attack that Spot is planning on Manhattan." "But…I don’t want to go to Brooklyn! It feels like I’se der fer months when it’s only days!" "Too bad. Bye!" Denton said, waving his hand in dismissal. Boots hung his head and took the letter that Denton was holding and left. "Umm…excuse me," Davie said. "Would you mind if I go back to school, now?" Denton looked closely at him. "You want to leave us?" "Yeah, I want to go to school," he reiterated. He had been upset ever since Denton had married. "If your father says okay, then go," Denton agreeed. "Now, Jack, my nephew and son, how are you?" "Well…not so good. My dad just died and now an aegis like you jumps inta bed wid me muddah. How would you be doin’?" "You unmannly, sacreligious wuss. Suck it up! He’s dead! Now move on!" Denton told him. Medda elbowed Denton. "My husband, if you are mean he vill vant to leave!" "Actually, I already wanna leave. Remembah, school in Santa Fe?" Jack reminded them. "Oh…yeah…vell don’t go," Medda told him. "Fine, fer now. I’ll stay," he promised. Medda and Denton, happy with this answer fled the room with everyone following closely, in fear that Jack would change his mind. Jack stood there, angered. "What da hell is wrong wid everyone? Kloppman was bettah den Denton anyday! Me muddah is so weak! She can’t go two months wid out a guy! It’s pathetic!" "Your what’s pathetic, Jacky boy," Racetrack said, entering the room. "Talking to yourself and everything." "Racetrack! Good ta see ya ‘gain!" Jack said, running over and hugging him. "What brings ya from school?" "Well, I hold ‘bout Kloppman dying an’ den figured I’d stick around for the wedding," he told him. "There’s a reason I came today, though. Blink, Mush and I saw Kloppman." "We all saw him! He woke us up every mornin’ fer a good many yeahs," Jack reminded him. "No, I mean we saw him yesterday night," Racetrack cleared. "But…he…I wanna see him!" Jack said. "Don’t you find it slightly odd that your father, who has been dead for two months, is wandering around?" Jack thought about it. "Actually, it is a little weird I guess…ah well…wheah is he?" "Tonight, come down to the lobby, around twelve fourty five," Racetrack told him. "I’ll be der," Jack promised. Act I Scene 3 Davie and Sarah were standing in front of the Lodging House waiting for Davie’s carriage. "So, Sarah…how are things going with you?" Davie asked. "Pretty good," Sarah answered. "Damn it! Cut the shit Sarah! What is going on with you and Jack?" Davie questioned, bluntly. "Nothing is going on!" Sarah told him. "Oh yeah? He just sits outside your bedroom window and you guys french kiss in front of everyone, but no…nothing is going on at all…" Davie remarked, sarcastically. "You know, he’s only doing all of this to get you in bed and then he’ll just leave you!" "Fine! Davie, relax! I’ll stay away from him," Sarah conceded. "Good, here comes our good father, Jaconious," Davie said. "Hello, father," Sarah said, happy to change the subject. "Daddy! Sarah has been getting together with Jack behind our backs!" Davie said, immediately. "Sarah! I’m shocked. But before I get to that, Davie before you leave I need to tell you how to live in a long lengthy speech that I’ll just skip because it all boils down to don’t become dependent on other people and don’t have people become dependent on you. The end. Get going so I can send my spies after you!" Davie looked at him, confused, but nodded and left. "So, Sarah, you know that any boy that would say ‘nude’ or ‘love nest’ in front of a lady is no good. And he steals tomatoes! End it now or you will get pregnant and be alone." "All right, father. Tell you what! Instead of having trust in the man I love what if I help you to spy on him?" she asked, surprisingly seriously. "That a girl!" Jaconious commended, happily. Act I Scene 4/5 "All right, heah we are at 12:57," Jack said. "Give it time, Jack. They said that the ghost comes at one," Racetrack told him. "Fine, fine," Jack said. The four, Jack, Race, Mush and Blink, sat around for a few minutes, until the ghost appeared. "Hey! Ya were right!" Jack said jumping up. "Dad! DAD!" Jack said jumping up and down and waving his arms. The ghost looked up and beckoned Jack into his old office and disappeared through the wall. Jack, attempting to follow him, walked straight into the wall. "Jaaack…doooor…." the ghost’s voice came through the wall. "Yeah, right," Jack said, jumping up and going to the doorway, hitting the door and falling backwards. "Opppeeeennnn the dooooorr!" the ghost said, exasperated. "Right, right," Jack said, getting up and running into the office after first opening the door. "So, whadya want, Dad?" Jack asked. "Well, ya have no idea how depressin’ it is ta know dat me future enternity rests in yer hands…but I guess dat yer all I got. So, yer uncle, Denton, he ain’t what ya think," Kloppman told him. "I think dat he’s an evil, incestuous man dat is ruinun’ da good name a Manhattan," Jack told him. "Oh, den ya got it jest ‘bout right. Yer uncle, well he’s a moiderah. Aftah he took Meddah, he killed me by puttin’ poison in me ear while I was sleepin’ an den told everyone it was a heart attack! An’ now he sits all hoity- toity wid me wife, house, son an’ everythin’ I evah had!" "Dat’s jest horrible! What are were supposed ta do?" Jack asked "Revenge, me boy! Revenge!" Kloppman told him. "Oh, all right. I’ll jest go kill him den," Jack said, excitedly heading toward Denton’s bedroom. "Aren’t ya gunna get proof? Are ya stupid? I could be some evil spirit tryin’ ta make it so ya go ta hell!" Kloppman protested. "Good point," Jack said. "Well, I gotta get goin’. Ya know, back ta da torment an’ all. Make shoah ya get up in da mornins an’ do what I told ya," Kloppman told him. "Do what ya told me? Ya mean ta not starve?" Jack asked. "Uhh…no…I mean kill Denton. I think dat I’se gunna be in purgatory fer a long time…" "Don’t worry, I’ll do good," Jack promised. "Good. Bye now," Kloppman said, disappearing. Jack waved and walked out of the office. He remembered to open the door this time and was surprised when Race, Blink and Mush fell forward onto the floor. "So, you’se guys hoid dat, huh?" Jack asked. "Nah, a course not!" Blink assured him. Then, after recieving a look from Jack continued, "Well, not everythin’ at least. Jest ‘bout how Medda committed adultry an’ Denton is a moiderah an’…well yeah we hoid it all." "Well, der’s only one thing ta do now," Jack decided. "Find some swoards an’ sweah we won’t tell nobody ovah dem?" Mush asked Jack looked at him like he as crazy. "Uhh..noo…spit shake. C’mon, spit shake ta sweah ya ain’t gunna tell nobody." The boys all hestiated bt when they heared Kloppman’s haunting voice from underneath them saying, "Spiiiiiiit…SPIIIIIIT!" they quickly salivated on their hands and extended them towards Jack. "Good, good," Jack said. "now don’t mind me while I go crazy," he told them. "I think I’ll go run around screaming in the streets a Manhattan." "Have fun!" Blink said. Jack nodded and started screaming like a girl and ran out of the Lodging House. |
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