Princess, a girl who stood about five foot four with shiny dark blond hair and greenish blue eyes, walked down the stairs gracefully with a long dark blue dress rustling as she walked. She went and stood next to Quipster. "Uh…okay…introduction. Dis is Princess. Nice intro, huh? Thought so…Anyway Skitt go head," Quipster told him. Skittery walked up on the stage with the piece of paper Quipster had written the questions on. "All right, heah we go. Foist question, What would your ideal date with me be?" Princess appeared to be thinking about it for a moment. Then she said, "Well, dinner an’ a movie is all very good, but overdone. I say we go ta my place, mix up a cake, and while it bakes, I whip youh ass at cards. Den we feed each othah handfuls before having hot monkey sex on a bearskin rug. And I am NOT just saying that last part so you'll pick me!" Princess then smiled, batting her eyes at Skittery. Finally she couldn’t hold it in any longer. "I would take dat laughtah as her sayin’ dat last part jest so you would pick her," Quipster put in. Skittery shrugged. "Next question. How far would you go with me on this date?" "Well I was thinking in front of a crackling fireplace, but if you want to just drop and do it as soon as we enter the room, that's okay too." Quipster cleared her throat. "He means how far would you go wid him like kissin’ or sex or whatevah," she explained quietly. Realization dawned on Princess’s face. "Oh! Yeah, I knew that's what you meant!" Princess assured them. Then, putting on an obviously fake sultry voice she added, "Anywhere you wanted to go and beyond, baby." She couldn’t continue the charade though because she cracked up again. Trying to get herself under control she said, "Sorry! I am taking these questions seriously, I really am!" Before bursting out into laughter again. "Hey, remembah ta breath," Quipster commented, noticing how hard she was laughing. "I’m….okay…" Princess assured them, taking a deep breath. "Please continue." Skittery looked unsure but decided to continue. "Okay, den, Would you want a monogamous relationship?" Princess seemed to ponder this question before answering bluntly. " I want an equal relationship. Which means if you're up for monogamy, so am I, but if you're boinking every girl on the block, don't come crying if you catch me with another guy." "Hey! Good answah!" Quipster approved. Princess smiled. "Thanks!" "If only I were a judge," Quipster said, sadly. "Aww dey wouldn’t let you be a judge?" Princess asked, sympathetically. "No, because SOME PEOPLE are mean an’ all…’a goil can’t help she can jest run it’. Psh so dumb!" "I agree I think da…" Princess started "Anyway," Skittery continued. "Next question." Quipster and Princess looked at each other and started laughing. "Oh yeah…contest…" Quipster remembered. "Sorry, go on," Princess told Skittery. "If I made you really angry what would you do?" Skittery asked. "Probably hurl some really wounding insults at you before turning it into a total screech- fest and sobbing hysterically. Until you want to kiss and make up, when all will be forgotten, if not forgiven." "Ya know…I’ve found dat if ya jest threaten him wid kneeing…" Quipster started. "Do ya wanna be thrown outta the contest completely?" Skittery asked, aggravated by the constant interruptions. "YOUH MEAN…but continue," Quipster decided. "All right, next question. Please explain youh personality in five words or less," Skittery told her. "More than you can handle. Rowrrr. Oops, does that count as six?" Princess asked, giggling. "It’s okay ‘cause der were supposed ta be seven but I was outnumbered," Quipster told her. "QUIPSTAH! Can ya please let us jest finish dis so it doesn’t take all day?" Skittery questioned. Quipster looked saddened. "All right, all right. I’ll be quiet…er," she promised. Skittery, appeased, continued his questioning. "Why, if for any reason, would you break up with me?" Princess thought for a moment before answering in an offhand tone, " Mmm... If you humiliated or belittled me beyond all repair." Then, getting a mischievous look she added, "Or if you lost that tight ass…" Then, surprisingly, she just let go and smacked his backside. "Can I smack it?" she questioned Quipster. Quipster shrugged. "I guess…" "I'm having too much fun with this!" Princess declared, laughing. Skittery looked to be between shocked and turned on that she had slapped his ass. "Well, dat’s all da questions we got…" Princess looked somewhat disappointed. "Soo, next contestant," Quipster decided, pointing to near the stage that Princess could sit in. "Here comes…Pisky!" Pisky began to descend the stairs at her introduction. She had blonde hair that was pinned up into a fashionable hair style and sparkling blue eyes, a typical beauty. Her short body, that was only about five feet and four inches tall, was covered in a dark violet dress that brought out the blue in her eyes even more. "So…uh…Pisky, Skittery is gunna ask some questions an’ you ans…" Quipster started. "Um…Quipstah, we all heard. We were only upstaihs…" Pisky revealed. "Oh…" Quipster shrugged. "Can ya jest pretend dat ya didn’t so I can humor meself inta thinkin’ dat I actually have a purpose heah?" Pisky giggled. "Sorry, continue." "So, Skitts is gunna ask six questions an’ ya jest hafta answah dem an’ den go sit by Princess. We have already determined that it is okay to slap Skittery’s ass." "Hey! What?" Skittery asked. "Do you have objections to girls hitting youh ass?" Quipster questioned. "Well…it does make me feel a little used an’ degraded…" Skittery confided. "Well get da fuck ovah it," Quipster stated. "Youh holdin’ a fuckin’ beauty pageant." "Ya know, from now on we’re makin’ a rule dat you gotta have 8 hours a sleep a night befoah havin’ any human contact," Skittery mumbled. Quipster laughed. "Jest ask youh questions." "Fine," Skittery agreed. "Pisky, what would youh ideal date wid me be?" Pisky smiled mischievously before answering. "An idea date wid you would consist of us bein’ alone at da Lodgin’ House or some othah place dat has a bed." She threw a wink at him before continuing, "An’ doin’ whatevah youh little heart desires!" Skittery grinned, probably thinking of the possibilities that this answer entailed. "Well, how far would you go wid me on dis date?" Pisky smirked. "Did I mention dat our date would HAFTA have a bed? Use youh imagination," she told him, returning his wink. "Well, wouldja want a monogamous relationship?" he asked, speaking the word monogamous as if something horrible. "Well…it’s always good ta have one. I know dat I wouldn’t be screwing…wait can I say dat?" she asked Quipster. Quipster shrugged. "Shoah…screwin’, fuckin’, layin’, boinkin’…all possible choices…" Pisky nodded. "I know dat I wouldn’t be scrwein’ any othah guys. I don’t know what you’ll be doin’ when I’m not ‘round so what I don’t know can’t hurt me!" "Infamous last words," Quipster muttered. "What?" Pisky questioned. Quipster smiled at her. "Nothin’…nothin’ at all…of course I wasn’t implyin’ dat Skittery would most definitely cheat on you since he’s done it befoah an’ den you’d find out an’ it’d piss you off beyond all belief an’ you’d staht a fight wid da whore he cheated on you wid an’ possibly ruin youh life all because of Skittery who ain’t dat great of a catch to begin wid," she explained rapidly so that it was almost impossible to understand her. "Huh?" Pisky and Skittery both asked at the same time. "Nothin’…I said next question," Quipster stated, rolling her eyes. Skittery looked unsure for a moment but continued with his questioning. "If I made ya really angry what wouldja do?" Pisky giggled. "I would hafta teach ya a ‘lesson’ foh bein’ a ‘bad boy’…if ya catch me drift…" she told him, smiling suggestively. Skittery looked a little flustered, not expecting this response. "Yeah I getcha…you could teach me dat lesson right now if ya…" Quipster cleared her throat. "Skittery…questions…" she reminded him. Skittery looked disappointed. "Fine, fine…uhh…explain youh personality in five words or less." "Well, flirty…wid only you of cohse. Fun, in moah ways den one…an’ carin’. I would ten ta any kinda ‘boo-boos’ or ‘sicknesses’ dat you have." Quipster repeated Pisky’s answer to her self slowly counting the words on her fingers. Skittery, not noticing this, continued with the questions. "Why if foh any reason…" "Twenty eight!" Quipster exclaimed. "What?" Skittery questioned, perturbed by the interruption. "She used twenty-eight words!" Quipster explained. "No…she was explainin’ da words dat she picked. She only used three," Skittery informed Quipster. "Nu uh! She used twenty eight. I mean, six are excusable…but twenty eight?!" "Can I jest continue?" Skittery asked, glaring. "Fine, fine, let her use twenty eight…" Quipster gave in. "So, as I was sayin’ befoah I was so RUDELY interrupted foh like da twentieth time taday, why, if foh any reason, would you break up wid me?" Pisky thought about this. "Da only reason I might evah break up wid you is if I was one hundred percent shoah dat you were gunna break up wid me. But I doubt dat I would evah break up wid you even foh dat reason." "So…basically youh not gunna break up wid him?" Quipster summarized. Pisky laughed and smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, basically I won’t break up wid him." Skittery nodded. "All right, dat’s it." Quipster pointed to where Princess was sitting. "You can go right ovah der." Pisky nodded and went and sat next to Princess. "All right, next we have…uhh…hang on," Quipster told the crowd when she saw Tapper motioning her to come upstairs. "We’re gunna have a shoht break I guess so I’ll be right back." "What’s goin’ on?" Specs asked, as Quipster walked past him on the way to the stairs. Quipster shrugged. "Beats me." She hurried up the stairs. "What’s goin’ on?" she asked Tapped. "Dat is goin’ on," Tapped explained, pointing to Tunes and Spin that were angrily yelling at each other. It took Quipster only moments to discover what the problem was. Spin and Tunes were wearing identical red dresses. The tight fitting bodices, short sleeves, long flowing skirts and wine colored fabric were exact replicas of each other. "So, cant one of you change?" Quipster asked. "Dis is da only dress I have wid me!" Spin complained. Quipster sighed. "Look, I don’t know what you expect me ta do…" Tunes rolled her eyes exasperated. "Fine, if she won’t change I’ll do somethin’ ta fix it." Tunes pulled up her skirt to reveal a knife that was in a sheath attached by a leather strap to her thigh. "I don’t think dat violence is da answah…" Quipster started, scared at what was going to happen to Spin. Tunes gave Quipster an odd look. "Dis isn’t foh Spin it’s foh me," she informed her. Quipster looked worried. "WHAT?!" Tunes looked at Quipster like she was an idiot. "Foh me dress, Quip!" "Ohh…okay…" Quipster let out a sigh of relief as Tunes began slicing at her dress with the knife. Tunes cut of the short sleeves, leaving only straps on her shoulders. Then she went to work on the neckline, cutting it to be much more revealing and made the straps fall to the side so they were off the shoulder. Her last act was to cut up the front of the skirt, making it come up past her knees in the front and then recede into a long skirt. (Quipsters note: Think like Medda’s dress in the movie…I was thinking a complete like mini skirt might be a little odd…) All the girls were amazed by the transformation. The dresses looked very different now. Quipster looked at Tunes dress and rolled her eyes coughing out a "whore" before she walked back downstairs shaking her head. She was slightly disappointed at the lengths these girls would go to, to catch Skittery’s attention. Quipster walked back onto the ‘stage’. "All right, sorry, little mix up upstaihs. Anyway, movin’ on…next we have…uhh…Act!" Act started down the stairs when she heard her name called. Act looked stunning in a green dress that accentuated her bright green eyes making her look even more Irish. She was about 5’3, had auburn hair and pale skin with freckles sprinkled across her face. "Okay…questions…" Quipster stated, sounding bored. She pulled a chair onto the stage for herself. "What would your ideal date wid me be?" Skittery inquired. Act didn’t even have to pause to think since she had already heard the questions. "It doesn’t have ta be fancy, just a nice walk in da park at sunset an’ den a moonlit picnic dinnah." Quipster looked shocked. "What’s dis? One a da goils isn’t a whore?" Skittery glared at her but continued the questions. "How far would ya go wid me in dis date?" he questioned. "If da date was goin’ well I’d prolly go all da way!" Act responded. Quipster sighed and lost her shocked expression. "Lemme take dat back. Youh jest like dat rest." Act looked proud of this. Skittery rolled his eyes. "Dey aren’t all whores…jest most a dem…anyway, Act, wouldja want a monogamous relationship?" Act nodded. "I think dat if we were sleepin’ tageddah I would want a monogamous relationship, but it also depends on how much we would agree ta commit ta each othah." "Hmm…not completely whorish…dat’s nice," Quipster stated off handedly. "Do ya mind?" Skittery questioned. "If I made ya really angry what would you do?" "I’d prolly yell at you or let you know I was angry an’ den I’d need some time alone ta get ovah it…" "Fair enough," Skittery consented. "Couldja explain youh personality in five words or less?" Act counted off on her fingers as she listed, "Funny, carin’, sweet, sarcastic an’ outgoin’." "Ladies an’ gentlemen give dis goil a round of appluase she can actually count unlike Miss Six Woids an’ Miss Twenty Eight ovah der," Quipster announced. The people in the audience tittered a little and gave Act applause. "Nice job, hun," Quipster told her. Skittery, giving up chastising Quipster for her annoying interruptions for the moment just continued. "Why, if foh any reason, would you break up wid me?" "Da only reason would prolly be if I decided I didn’t like ya anymoah," Act decided. "What’s dis? Someone admits dat he isn’t perfect? Dis goils should be giving a prize…realism an’ she can count. Anyway, go have a seat ovah der," Quipster stated in a monotone voice. "Next is…uh…dat goil standin’ up der dat I can only see her arm…" Everyone looked at Quipster oddly. "Well, I could get up an’ check but da goil undahstood," Quipster explained, defending her laziness. "See here she comes…oh look it’s Tunes!" Tunes walked down the stairs trying not to laugh at the reactions from the crowd over her dress. Many murmurs were heard, especially from the male members of the audience. Tunes was about average height, five foot six inches. Her red hair was worn down messily but it still looked nice. Her dark green eyes sparkled mischievously and she wore a wide grin. "Holy shit," Skittery mumbled quietly, looking her up and down. "Leave it ta Tunes ta wear da sluttiest clothes heah," Quipster said under her breath. "So, dis is Tunes…" Quipster introduced. Skittery looked very flustered after seeing Tunes’s dress. Quipster rolled her eyes and kicked Skittery with her foot that was hanging off the side of the chair. "Hey, how ‘bout you say youh questions. Who’s da one wastin’ time now?" Tunes couldn’t help but looking proud of herself, getting the exact reaction she had expected. Skittery snapped out of it. "Yeah, questions, all right…What would youh ideal date wid me be?" he asked. "Well…I suppose we could go out and see a show or something but I’d like it if we skipped right to the sex," Tunes stated bluntly. Skittery looked a little shocked. "Umm…okay…so how far would you go with me on dis date?" Tunes rose her eyebrows. "I jest told ya. Lotsa sex." Skittery started to ask the other question before realizing something was missing. Then, realizing what it was he turned to Quipster. "Hey, Quip, aren’tcha gunna make any a youh annoyin’ comments ‘bout her bein’ a whore?" he asked. Quipster shook her head. "Nah…not foh Tunes. Foist, she has too much shit on me an’ second she an’ I run da house tageddah da othah goils are jest lodgers…" Skittery shook his head. "Not dat I miss dem I was jest wonderin’." "If ya want I can make fun of you some moah…" Quipster offered with a smike. "I’ll pass but thanks. Anyway, Tunes, Would you want a monogamous relationship?" Tunes shrugged. "Maybe after a little while, but, I think if we both wanted to see other people while still seeing each other steadily, I wouldn’t have a problem, as long as we don’t go into detail about it with one another." "Okay…If I made you really angry what would you do?" "Hmm…Probably stay away from you for a few days or how ever long it takes me to cool down, because I wouldn’t want to start a stupid argument where we sayin thinks we’d regreat later, then after I cooled down, I’d talk to you about it, calmly, then we’d have make-up sex for hours…" "Damn," Skittery commented. "Maybe I’d hafta make ya mad on purpose…" "What if we jest pretended you made me mad and skipped straight to the make-up sex?" Tunes suggested. "Hey! No fraternizing wid da contestants ‘til aftah you pick!" Quipster exclaimed. "Fine, fine. Explain youh personality in five words or less." "Outgoin’, adventurous, crazy, fun, uninhibited." Tunes stated. Skittery looked curious. "Uninhibited how?" "In every way, Skitts. I’m a bit of a exhibitionist…" Tunes told him. "So wheah would we do it if…" "No adding questions! NO ONE WANTS TO HEAH DAT!" Quipster protested. "Hey! I do!" Itey yelled out, along with a few other audience members. "Well, I don’t so get ovah it," Quipster decided. Skittery sighed. "We’ll continue dat convahsation latah," he promised Tunes. "So, why, if foh any reason, wouldja break up wid me?" "Well, I can’t think of a reason why I would break up with you, only if you did something really awful to me that I couldn’t forgive you for, not cheating or something small and petty, because our relationship probably wouldn’t be monogamous right away anyway." "All right, go sit down," Quipster ordered. "Next goil come down…" "Which one?" came a reply from upstairs. "Uhh…whoevah jest said dat can come down," she responded. There was a sudden eruption of giggles upstairs before someone began to walk down the stairs. The back of the room soon began laughing too. Quipster and the others in the front of the room soon realized why when she noticed that the person coming down was wearing pants. "What da hell? All da goils were wearin’ dresses…" Quipster said before seeing the shirt. "Spot! What da hell are you doin’?!" Spot grinned widely. "Well, you said foh whoevah said dat ta come down…" "What’re you doin’ up der anyway?" Quipster queried. Spot smirked. "I was..uhh…apologizin’? An’ makin’ out…I mean up! Makin’ up wid da goils!" Quipster burst out laughing. "Shoah dat’s whatcha meant…jest go back up an’ send down an’ actual goil…" Quipster requested. Spot nodded. "Shoah thing." Soon Spin was walking down the stairs, looking very angry. "I’m happy ta get away from you too!" Quipster assumed she was yelling at Spot. It was very common for the two of them to have sibling squabbles. "Allright, so, dis is Spin…" Quipster introduced. Spin walked down her bright blue eyes squinted into a glare. Her brown hair that was usually in a cap, was swept into an up-do. She looked astonishingly like her brother Spot…except for that whole girl thing…Her red dress was slightly disheveled, no doubt from a fight with Spot. "Kay, go head question boy," Quipster allowed, once Spin had come to stand by Skittery. Skittery glared at being called ‘question boy’ but did go on to ask his first question. "What would youh ideal date wid me be?" Spin thought about it. She hadn’t had a chance to listen to the questions because she had been fighting or yelling at Spot for most of the time. "Well, I’se gotta say dat spendin’ da night on da beach would be fun," she told him, giggling. "An’ I don’t think she’s talkin’ ‘bout swimmin’," Quipster added, to make sure everyone caught on to the meaning of the statement. Skittery sighed. "Back ta da comments, huh?" Quispter nodded. "But of course, Skittsy!" "Skittsy?" Skittery asked, raising an eyebrow. "Well if you prefer question boy dat’s okay wid me…or maybe you like Satan?" Quipster inquired. "How ‘bout jest Skittery?" he suggested. "Boring," Quipster decided. "Fine, whatevah, Spin, how far would you go wid me on dis date?" "Anythin’ I guess…none a dat kinky stuff doh," Spin told him. "Spendin’ da night on da beach fuckin’ infronta random passer-byers is allowed but nothin’ kinky dat Skittery wants to do…unfair," Quipster protested on Skittery’s behalf. Skittery laughed. "Would you want a monogamous relationship?" Spin nodded vigorously. "Unless you would think dat is slutty a me…" Quipster burst out laughing. "Sleepin’ on da beech tageddah isn’t slutty but wantin’ a monogamous relationship is? Hun, monogamous means dat you only see each oddah…maybe you mean polygamous or…uh…open or somethin’…" Spin thought about it for a while. "Maybe dat’s it…" Skittery shook his head trying not to laugh. "If I made you really angry what would you do?" he interrogated. "I prolly wouldn’t speak ta you’se foh awhile…but it prolly wouldn’t last long. I can’t go foh long periods a time wid not talkin ta you’se," she told him, smiling and batting her eye lashes. "Talkin’ isn’t what he wants doh…" Quipster mumbled. "Well, I can’t go foh long periods a tiem wid not doin’ dose othah things too…" Spin added. Skittery smirked. "Can ya explain youh personality in five words or less?" Spin thought about it for a moment before getting a slightly panicked look on her face. "I don’t know…lemme think…" "Five words! She already used her five words," Quipster exclaimed. Skittery glared. "Stop bein’ a bitch." "Psh..I’m not a bitch. I’ll even help her out. She’s sarcastic, funny, protective, whorish and confrontational….’bout right, Spin?" "Fine wid me," Spin consented, relieved since she really couldn’t think of what to say when put on the spot like that. Skittery shrugged. "So, why, if foh any reason would you break up wid me?" "Prolly only if I knew I was gettin’ on youh noives or if ya cheated on me," Spin revealed. "All right, go have a seat…" Quipster told her. Spin went to sit by Tunes who was on the end but thought better of it and sat a couple seats down. "So uhh…who’s next?" Quipster yelled up. A rumpled Tapper came down the stairs trying to fix her lipstick that was smudged all over her face. "Wondah what she was doin’…" Quipster commented, highly amused. Skittery looked a little surprised but brushed it off. "Soo heah comes Tappah," Quipster announced. Tapper was wearing a red dress that matched her hair and was a couple shades brighter than Tunes’s and Spins wine colored dress. Her bright blue eyes were shining impishly, knowing she probably just shocked the crowd. "So, I have a question," Quipster decided. "What exactly IS goin’ on up der…" "Well, lemme tell ya it was a lot moah fun aftah Spin left…Spot could put his energy inta things othah den fightin…" Tapper told her. "Oh yeah? What kinda things?" Skittery asked, looking somewhat upset. "What do you think, Skittsy? She jest came in wipin’ lipstick from her face…" Skittery glared. "Shut up let’s jest get ta da questions." "Go head den! Youh da one dat’s askin’ dem.," Quipster pointed out. "I will, den! Tappah, what would be youh ideal date?" "Dat’s da stupidest question I evah hoid. You’he da guy, you’se supposed ta think up da dates!" "Ohhh shut down," Quipster told Skittery, laughing. Skittery looked slightly taken aback. "Uhh…all right…next question is how far wouldja go wid me on dis date?" "Depends on how much dis date a youhs didn’t suck…" "Shut down again! DAMN!" Quipster commented, becoming very proud of Tapper. Skittery looked very bewildered. "Umm…yeah…so…uh…Would you want a monogamous relationship?" he questioned, almost looking scared to ask her more questions. Tapper thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, unless I found someone I liked bettah…" Quipster gave a little cough that sounded amazingly like Spot. "I really am scared ta ask dis one but If I made you really angry what would you do?" Tapper shrugged. "Prolly beat you in da face, den use somethin’ I knew ‘boutcha ta blackmail ya inta apologizing." She paused to smile evily. "An’ if I didn’t have any good blackmail, I’d make it up. You DON’T wanna make me angry." Quipster burst out laughing. "How da hell didja get in dis contest anyway?!" Tapper shrugged. "So I fucked him a couple times. It doesn’t mean dat da sunrises an’ sets on him…" Quipster laughed even harder. Skittery grumbled a little before asking the next question. "Describe youh personality in five words or less." Tapper thought for a moment. "Sarcastic, dry-humored, proud, manipulative an uhh..outspoken" "Well, you wanted attitude, Skittsy," Quipster pointed out. Skittery rolled his eyes. "Not dis much," he thought. Out loud he said, "Why, if foh any reason, wouldja break up wid me." Tapped shrugged. "If you went an’ got some goil pregnant, or somethin’…I dunno!" "You can sit ovah der…" Quipster informed her, pointing to the other girls. "Kinda caught onta dat," Tapper responded sarcastically "Hey now, jest makin’ shoah!" Quipster replied. "Save da attitude foh Skittery an’ Spot." Tapper smirked and went to sit down by Tunes. "Dat goil is dangerous…" Quipster stated. "How did you two evah hook up?" Skittery shrugged. "Jest one a dose times, ya know?" "Uh…no…an’ I don’t think I want to…I’ll jest bring in da next goil…Uhh…Delaney c’mon down!" Quipster yelled up. Delaney walked down grinning at the crowds. She was amazingly well put together and her make-up remained intact. "Guess da infamous Spot Conlon charm don’t work on some goils," Skittery commented, looking proud of her. Quipster rolled her eyes. "So..uh…dis is Delaney," Quipster told the crowd. Delaney glided down the stairs wearing a pale blue dress. Her curly blonde-red hair was left down and framed her pale, freckled face perfectly. Her blue eyes shined brightly with the help of the blue dress to accentuate them. Delaney walked up grinning nicely. Skittery, worried what would happen next after Tapper, asked somewhat tentatively, "What would youh ideal date be?" Delaney thought for a moment. "Well, we would go out ta a nice restaurant, you know, anythin’ but Tibby’s. Den to Medda’s maybe. Skittery sighed. "Hmm…a nice change! Not…’let’s go hop inta bed!" Quipster pointed out. "How far wouldja go wid me on dis date?" Skittery queried. Delaney thought about this seriously. "Well, heavy kissin’, I guess. An’…maybe a little bit moah…" "YES!!" Quipster exclaimed. "FINALLY! I was wonderin’ if der was anyone in me house dat wasn’t a whore…" Delaney looked surprised by Quipster’s reaction but smiled at being considered unique from the others for something. "So, uh, wouldja want a monogamous relationship?" Skittery asked. "Um…yeah…" Delaney said, as if obvious. Skittery looked a little disappointed. "If I made you really angry what would you do?" he inquired. "I’d break up wid you…" she told him. "Foh ‘bout five minutes…" she added, giggling. "Way to be stong," Quipster commented, sarcastically. "I think everyone should jest follow Tappah’s example an’ kick his ass…" Skittery glared. "Not everyone are as big a bitches as you, doh." "Shame…da world would be a bettah place…" Quipster decided. "Yeah, doubtful. Delaney can ya explain youh personality in five words or less, please?" "Hmm…happy, easy-goin’, hard ta annoy," Delaney stated. "Dis one’s a keepah…not a whore, hard ta annoy AN’ she can count…" Quipster told him. "Bettah den da othahs…" Then with a quick glance at Tunes she added, "Except Tunes a course…" Skittery looked at her oddly. "Do ya mind not makin’ decisions foh me ya wanna-be judge." Quipster sulked. "Jest cause I don’t got a penis doesn’t mean I can’t be a judge," she grumbled. Skittery rolled his eyes. "Delaney, last question. Why if foh any reason wouldja break up wid me?" "If you cheated on me," Delaney said firmly. "What? Is dat da only reason? What if he…beat you…or murdered youh friends or dressed in drag or…" Quipster started to ramble. Skittery looked at her oddly. "What are you doin’?!" "Pointin’ out othah reasons why she would break up wid you…" Delaney nodded. "I’d prolly break up wid him foh dose reasons too…" Quipster looked proud of herself. "See!" she exclaimed. "See what?! I’m nevah gunna do any a dat stuff…" "Dat doesn’t mattah…" Quipster decided. "But…you…YOU MAKE NO SENSE!" Skittery yelled at her. "Well…you…ARE DUMB!" Quipster yelled back. Racetrack stood up in the crowd. "SEE! I tol’ you guy! He’s glum an’ dumb!" Quipster looked at Racetrack oddly. "Could da cute boy in da plaid pants PLEASE sit down?" Now it was Racetrack’s turn to look at Quipster oddly. "Uh…Quip…ya know me name. Why don’tcha jest say Racetrack?" "’Cause it’s moah fun ta say da cute boy in da plaid pants…shut up!" Quipster ordered. "Kay…last one foh questions," Quispter told Skittery. "C’mon down Hart!" Hart walked down the stairs with Spot following closely behind him, having nothing to do upstairs anymore. Hart’s short curly brown hair was pinned away from her face. Her gold eyes were brought out by the bright green dress she wore. She walked with a small smile on her face that bordered on a smirk and exuded confidence. "Skittey…questions…you answah…" Quipster told her shortly, getting very bored with her job and wishing it would all just be over. Skittery sighed, somewhat tired of asking the same questions over and over and glad this was the last interview. "So, what’s youh ideal date wid me?" Hart smiled at him. "Well, if I’m wid you it’s already ideal. But, it’d hafta be foh a long time cause it’s not easy gettin’ enough of ya…and somewheah…alone. Get what I mean, Skit?" Quipster laughed. "Since he’s been gettin’ invitations foh sex all day I’m thinkin’ he does," she informed Hart. Hart looked a little disappointed that hers wasn’t the first. She continued with her answer. "Somethin’ dat don’t cost a lotta doughm cause you ain’t gotta do all dat foh me." Skittery nodded. "How far would you wid me on dis date?" "To da moon an’ back. I’ll pay foh da trolley," Hart told him. Quipster laughed again. "He’s not talkin’ ‘bout distance, hun." Hart thought about it for a moment. "Ohh…anywheah an’ everywheah you want," she told him, smiling suggestively. "Well, wouldja want a monogomous relationship?" Skittery queried. "Monoga—who? Um…no? No sounds safe…" she told him. Quipster sat laughing hysterically. "Dis is great…" "If I made you really angry what would you do?" Skittery inquired. "I dunno, y’ain’t nevah done it. But I supposed I’d jest be mad foh a little bit, den think about it an’ realize dat it was prolly my fault. I might argue witcha jest cause it’s fun, but, I’d ovah it quick like." Quipster guffawed. "Prolly youh fault? It’s prolly Satan’s fault…I mean uhh not Satan" she corrected with a quick look at Skittery. "I meant Skittsy’s fault…a course…" Skittery glared at her. "You are really gettin’ on me noives…" "Well…if it helps you could pretend I’m jest bein’ mean ‘cause I have a secret crush on you?" Quipster offered. Skittery looked stunned. "Is dat da reason?" Quipster burst out into laughter. "Me? Like you? Oh my gawd no…" Skittery rolled his eyes. "Gettin’ back ta da questions…Hart, explain youh personality in five words or less." Hart listed off very confidently, "Snappy, crazy smart…alecky…tough, rebellious." "Yet again anothah goil dat can’t count. Yes, I caught dat sneakin’ in anothah word. Sheesh we’se gunna get a teachah foh da lodgin’ house or somethin!" Hart smiled sheepishly. "Get ovah it, Quip. So, why, if foh any reason, wouldja break up wid me?" "Ksh…weirdo. I don’t think dat I’d wanna do dat. Evah. You’he too sexy!" Quipster rolled her eyes. "Can’t count an’ blind…" Skittery glared at Quipster. Quipster flashed a bright smile. "No offense, Skittsy. Anyway, thus ends da question an’ answah portion!…Now what guys?" "I think we’se gotta go talk ‘bout it now," Itey told her. "Right, guys?" "Sounds like a plan," Specs agreed. "Yeah, lets," Skittery complied. "Woohoo moah talkin’," Quipster commented sarcastically starting to follow Skittery. "What’re you doin’?" Specs asked her. "Uhh…I thought you jest said we were gunna talk…" Quipster said. "No…we…meanin’ da guys," Specs informed her. "Dis isn’t really a talk foh goil’s ears." "But…but…NO FAIR!" Quipster protested, angrily. "Well, dat’s da way it is. Maybe you can…help da goils get dressed foh da talent part or somethin’…" Skittery suggested. "I don’t wanna play dress up!! Itey?" she asked. "Sorry, Quip," Itey told her, shrugging. "Dis is jest like back when I was little!! Nevah was I allowed ta play wid da boys…oh not it was all ‘go play wid youh dolls’. I DONT LIKE DOLLS!!" Quipster complained. All three boys looked at her oddly. "Are you done?" Specs asked. Quipster thought for a second. "Yeah…you guys are still mean doh! I’ll jest go gossip ‘bout you wid da goils…an’ tell dem how bad you are in bed an’ stuff…" "But…you’ve nevah slept wid any of us," Itey pointed out. "Dey don’t know dat," Quipster pointed out, smirking. "But, dey’s all slept wid me ‘cept Delaney," Skittery reminded her. "I can be very convincing," Quipster informed him, confidently. "Now scampah off an’ talk ‘bout dey’re chests an’ whatevah else youh plannin’ on talkin’ ‘bout." The boys shrugged and walked off. Quipster, still very perturbed that she wasn’t included in the talk, stomped upstairs. Part 4 Back to Fanfiction Page Back to Newsie Page |