Two things that have helped me the most - a 12 Step Program (4-8 meetings per week, getting a sponsor, really working the Steps, getting a Home Group, and doing Service), and getting into a support group for women with DID. This group has been active in Gloucester County, NJ for nearly 2 years (see notice in Many Voices). For the first time in my life I can meet with people like me who understand me, who don't think I am too strange. We share coping strategies and skills. We even laugh and go out for ice cream. I can have a good life today provided I do some of the footwork, and don't just sit around complaining and waiting to be rescued. Thank YOU also for being there for me.
I just love your page. I am a survivor of Ritual Abuse and a goal I have set for myself is to never be silent thus why I am writing now. Thank you for providing sites to help.
Sincerely ...Ms. Robin
It is a painful sight to see so many people that are hurting. I know what it is like, in a very different way. If anyone would like to talk, I would be willing to email. I only wish I could give you all a great big hug right now, because you all deserve one, and I need one too...
Until next time,
~Gwenevere~
Visit a special place...
http://www.oocities.org/Wellesley/2433/
The Maidens of the Heart
I thought that I could beat this thing by keeping silent. I thought I had to not think about it to get through it and now I am here; having to deal with rape 2 years later. He was a friend of mine and after a party he was going to drive me home. He was so nice when he stopped the guys from flirting with me when I was so drunk. I told him thank you for that and then he kissed me in his car. I accepted that but then wanted to go home to bed because I was dizzy and so very drunk. Then, in broken bits that I remember, I had no pants on. He was on top of me and I was hanging out of his truck. The door was open and all I saw was the sky and the stars and I couldn't get up. My head bobbed and my back was breaking and he was on top of me. Finally I scooted in after saying stop so many times and I said,
This is a page about myself and some of the things that I have been through. I am working on adding to these pages. There also are links from the abusestory page that will take you to my testimony and other healing pages that have helped me. I am working on this as well as a child abuse page to educate those about child abuse. I hope it helps you. I haven't worked on the sexual abuse yet. It's hard. But, God will guide me through it. You are a special lady, keep up the good work.
I am a 29 year old male survivor of sexual abuse, as well as physical and emotional abuse, I have lived most of my life running away from the issues, until I could run no longer, now I am coping with the problems in my life, including depression, dissociation, and am looking to use my experiences to help others. I want people to realize that they are not alone in this!
I am a sixteen year old in dire need of an understanding friend. Someone who will listen, and hopefully give feed back. I was molested by an iodiot who pretended to be my pre-school classmate's dad. He also molested my friend. Guess how many years he's going to pay for his crime? ZIP...and guess how many years I've been paying for his crime? TWELVE! And they call this the land of opportunity?
help
I am 29 and I have only just begun to speak about these things. I find encouragement in seeing other people speak out and it helps me to believe that it is okay to let it be known after all. It is still very frightening and very difficult not to feel ashamed and somehow less than human. For me it was my father and both brothers. With my oldest brother it was often violent. I am slowly beginning to think there is more to life than silence and hidden pain. Thank you.
This web page was very helpful to Me. it so nice to have someone understand where I am coming from. all of the things here were helpful to me. The stuff on self abuse REALLY Help me out. it was nice to feel that I am not alone, But sad that some many others had to suffer with this also. it would be helpful to me if other Survivor's could e-mail me & maybe we could help each other a little. I would Like to Thank the person or people for the time & energy that went into making this web page. it really helped me out & I know it will for others. Thank You for your caring & understanding.
yours truly
Red
I don't yet have a e-mail address. Is there any one from Michigan on this site? I am also looking for a person in a place called Standish, any info?
I was in an abusive home till i got taken away
Sammie wants info about legal laws.
I am in a situation where i need them.
I married into an incest family in the 1950's, before information was available on how to deal with the problems that it caused, problems that are still ongoing. My daughters were molested by their biological father. The lack of validation in the family as well as the professional world was very traumatic, a form of emotional abuse. Problems that stem from the sexual abuse filters on down into the lives of generation after generation.
FROM:
M.O.I.V. (Mothers of Incest Victims/Survivors)
P.O. BOX 43
MARISSA, IL 62257
I am an 'older' mother. I married into an incest family in the 50's, before information was available on how to deal with the problems that it caused, praoblems that are still ongoing. My daughters were molested by their biological father. For me the lack of validation in the family as well as the professional world was also very traumatic, a form of emotional abuse. Problems that stem from the sexual abuse filters on down into the lives of my grand children. MS
I have known nothing but aggresive rapes and molestion in my family. I am also a BPD, who self
mutilates and is in recovery from drugs and alcohol. ANy input is welcome.
I want to share a story with you. It's called The Young Montana Tree.
There once was a young tree in Montana among many others. But somehow this young tree felt different from all the others. He would look out at the others and feel so little...so unimportant. He didn't like the shape of his trunk. He didn't like the color of his leaves. He wanted so much to look like the others. He never saw anything good in himself. As time went by the young tree he grew to to hate the other trees because they all looked so perfect. He slowly stopped looking out at the others because it hurt too much.
Then one real hard winter came to Montana. The snow covered the young tree. He felt so cold and alone. He hated winter. He soon learned he could shut down his feelings...and he didn't have to feel the bitter coldness. He liked that. He decided this shutting down business was great!
Spring that y
I want to share a story with you. It's called The Young Montana Tree.
There once was a young tree in Montana among many others. But somehow this young tree felt different from all the others. He would look out at the others and feel so little...so unimportant. He didn't like the shape of his trunk. He didn't like the color of his leaves. He wanted so much to look like the others. He never saw anything good in himself. As time went by the young tree he grew to to hate the other trees because they all looked so perfect. He slowly stopped looking out at the others because it hurt too much.
Then one real hard winter came to Montana. The snow covered the young tree. He felt so cold and alone. He hated winter. He soon learned he could shut down his feelings...and he didn't have to feel the bitter coldness. He liked that. He decided this shutting down business was great!
Spring that y
My mother hurt me first. Then my stepfather started touching me. In college, I was raped. Now, I am depressed, and hurting inside. I feel weak, and afraid. I want somebody to tell me I am going to be ok.
Surviving MPD isn't as surviving therapists that don't know what they are doing, or the disbelievers scattered in the majority at mental hospitals.
I would like to talk with other people with MPD/DID. I know there are many people with this diagnosis, but the only people I have met have been in hospitals and we have lost touch...except for a very close friend with MPD that died this April. (Physical illness, not suicide). I feel like a freak some times.
I was abused on emotional/mental levels by my parents and sexually by other relatives. I never had a childhood at all, I was expected to be a little adult. I wonder why no one ever noticed I was so broken, and I am angry and sad. I've dedicated my adult life to helping others as I can, when I can: My chosen medium is the Internet. My whole chosen-family is made up of survivors who hold to each other because there's understanding and unity there. Shared pain is halved. Shared joy is doubled. I won't be silent...I was silent until I was thirty and that time has passed. I'm 33 now. And just beginning to see what I can do.
Until we can all be safe in a world where equality
means all races and each gender are truly equal, it is important each survivor make our voices heard. Maybe then the abuses will stop.If we each speak out maybe victims no longer will bear the unjust shame of what another person did to us, but give it to the perpetrator with whom the shame belongs.
He hurt me - I didn't choose to be hurt. I went to
the part with him. I choose to go back to his house after. I did not choose to sleep with him.
I am not a tramp. I was a good girl but now all around school they call me a tramp. His parents caught "us" - what they didn't know and can't see is that they caught him raping me. I thought yelling would save me but it only hurt me more.
I wonder how things would have been different if it hadn't happened to me.
I didn't tell and didn't tell. I made excuses for him. I stayed away from the only friends I had and my family so that they wouldn't know - wouldn't see the bruises.
It was my child's teacher who finally made me realize what his anger and his brutality were doing to my family.
I left him - I took my 18 month old and my 6 year old and we ran. We moved from relative to relative to friend to friend. When he threatened them - we hid in a shelter for a few days until there was a restraining order that I felt would be upheld by the police.
It was the hardest thing I have every done - I am now glad I did it for me - then I did it for my children.
Lizzy
I was sexually abused. It was my uncle. When she found out, my mother said that he didn't know any better. He was in his 30's and didn't know any better than to wake his 5, 6, 7 year old niece from her sleep and make her touch him and make her let him touch her. He knew better!