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Poems of Love, Loss and Understanding
"May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced give you the strength to walk through life, facing each new situation with Optimism & Courage"
Author Unknown
*To Mommy, Love Angel*

I once was gonna be born and this I couldn't wait,
I knew that everyone was expecting me, I would try not to be late.
But I really wasn't sure what was on the other side,
I tried to accept what was happening but I knew I couldn't hide.
I couldn't help but wonder who my parents were to be,
I knew for sure that no matter what, they would always love me.
So I thought about it for a while, but I knew I had to leave,
I went on to another place, it is so beautiful it is hard so believe.
I had a job to do, but it wasn't here on earth,
I am so sorry you had to miss it, the day of my birth.
I wanted so bad to stay and be home with you,
but I knew there was something up here that I had to do.
I am now a Guardian Angel and I hope that you are proud,
I watch over you and Daddy, I peek down through the clouds.
I hope you know how much I love you, and how hard it was to go,
I miss you so much everyday, but I am sure you already know.
So please don't ever forget me, as I will do the same,
you know this wasn't your fault, there is no one to blame.
God needed me to be by his side and to take good care of you,
so there is no need to be sad now and no need to be blue.
If you ever get lonely, just look up at the sky,
like if you had a thought of me or just needed to say hi.
I am so happy with the way things are even though it may not seem,
I talk to you in the nighttime, I touch you when you dream.
I want to see the same for you, give a smile for me today,
because I know some day we will meet again in some other sort of way.
I will be up here waiting for you, to open the gates real wide
and help you to come home to heaven, to take a step inside.
I thank you for loving me so much, please believe that this is true,
and there is no one that I could ever love more Mommy, as much as I love you.
*Don't*

Don't tell me that you understand, Don't tell me that you know.....Don't tell me that I will surely survive, How I will surely grow....
Don't tell me thsi is just a test, That I am turly blessed... That I am chosen for the task, Apart from all the rest....
Don't come at me with answers, That can only come from me....Don't tell me how my grief will pass, That I will soon be free...
Don't stand in pious judgement, Of the bonds that I must untie...Don't tell me how to suffer, And don't tell me how to cry...
My life is filled with selfishness, My pain is all I see...But I need you, I need your love, Unconditionally....
Accept me in my up's and down's, I need someone to share....Just hold my hand and let me cry, And say, My friend, I care...
*Born Into Heaven*

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I would walk right up to Heaven to bring you home today.
No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye,
You were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why.
My heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow,
What it meant to lose you, no one will ever know.
Mommy couldn't save you, She wishes she could have tried
Then I think of how you struggled, Just makes me want to die.
I should have known you needed me, I could have changed your fate
The feeling that I let you down is the pain that I most hate.
Sometimes I want to punish myself for what I didn't do
But my punishment has been served to me...
It's living my life without you.
*Can I Still Greive?*

How much time am I allowed, are there rules I must go by?
Does anyone ever keep track of the thousand tears I cry?
Will I someday know the answers, have it figured out in my head?
Just how long am I supposed to grieve, now that my child is dead?
People think they know the answers, to the questions I may ask.
But only if you've lost a child, can you understand this task.
I'm reading all the books I can, to know what grief's about.
But do these rules apply to all? It's hard to figure out.
While driving home from work tonight, I feel I'm sinking low.
I try to put grief off my mind, but where can I now go?
You think grief has a pattern, with a beginning and an end?
But I'm grieving for a lifetime, can you understand my friend?
So when I really need you, will you stay or will you leave?
What will be your answer, when I ask "Can I still grieve?"
*Why God Takes Little Children*

When God calls little children
to dwell with Him above,
We mortal sometimes question
the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with
the death of one small child.
Who does so much to make our world,
seem so wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to His fold.
So He picks a rosebud
before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them,
and so He takes but few.
To make the land of Heaven
more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult
still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be Good-bye.
So when a little child departs,
we who are left behind,
Must realize God loves children
ANGELS ARE HARD TO FIND!

Author: Unknown
How very softly
you tiptoed into my world
Almost silently
Only a moment you stayed
But what an imprint
Your footprints have left
upon my heart.
since August 14, 1999
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