| PART Twooooo! |
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| Illmatic: First off, what thy fucketh is an Illmatic? I have never, and I'd like to keep the record rolling strong, heard of a person named Illmatic. But his name is cool cuz it reminds me of Illig, my clip-pant things that Lester has too which discourages me. *******(7) out of ten stars. |
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| Jake P.: This guy reminds me of Nadir's dad but skinnier. I wish this guys name was Samir or Nadir's dad was named Jake P. cuz then they would be twins and I'd chuck this into Nadir's soup and it would splash in his eye and burn it and it would dissolve into yogurt mush and fall on the table. I like nadir's dad so I like Jake P. and you do too because I said you do. ********(8) out of ten stars! |
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| Joe: Okay the only problem is that he's got a wedgie. Oh Kevin you know what i'm talkin about. This guy may not have his hand down his pants but his legs are spread that's how a fat man gets rid of a wedgie without anyone looking he takes a really big step or stands wide-legged. Joe offends me, and he does it damn good. ***(3) out of ten stars. |
| PLAYYYYAAAAAAZZZZZ!!! |
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| Juan: Okay this guy has to be the best. Look at him. Doesn't he bare a certain resemblance to a HOLY LORD? and is it just coincidental he's wearing a rosemary around his neck? Readers, I think not. This is the Street Jesus, tenatively named Juan, but nonetheless, this is Jesus Christ in his prime. I mean back in Jeresalem this is what Jesus looked like in his adolescence. If you don't praise Jesus Christ, and I can sure raise my hand for that "sin", then you'd oughtta respect Juan **********(10) out of ten stars! |
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| Juice: He looks like Billy to me. Why Billy? I don't know. Cuz he's so innocent? I have no idea. But Juice is a bagel Billy's not I just don't like Juice's cocky face peering into my soul because Juice can do that to you. **(2) out of ten stars. |
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| Juke: You know I failed to mention this with anyone else, but i think he has a pot on his head. Maybe it's just the camera angle. Yeah... I don't like Juke. Juke is to dance but all this guy's doing is the arm rotation during the verses of 'YMCA'. Eat shit Juke, eat it raw. *(1) out of ten stars. |
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| Julio: Ever since I saw Julio I found him out to be the devil. Juan is Jesus Julio is Satan. see Julio even has a pentagram on his necklace. AND THEY ARE BOTH OF MEXICAN DESCENT. now I find these mini-toys racist. damn them. Oh well in my book Julio can still sit in my hot wheels. *******(7) out of ten stars. |
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| Li'l D.: FUCK LI'L D AND FUCK HIM GOOD. (0) out of ten stars. |