10.4 QUESTION: What changes have taken place in your life since you first took the three refuges?
ANSWER: Like countless millions of others over the last 2500 years, I have found that the Buddha's teachings have made sense out of a difficult would, they have given meaning to what was a meaningless life, they have given me a humane and compassionate ethics with which to lead my life and they have shown me how I can attain a state of purity and perfection in the next life. A poet in ancient India once wrote of the Buddha:
To go to him for refuge, to sing his praise, to do him honors and to abide in his Dhamma is to act with understanding.
I agree with these words completely.
10.5 QUESTION: I have a friend who is always truing to convert me to his religion. I am not really interested in his religion and I have told him so but he won't leave me alone. What can I do?
ANSWER: The first thing you must understand is that this person is not really your friend. A true friend accepts you as you are and respects your wishes. I suspect that this person is merely pretending to be your friend so he can convert you. When people try to impose their will on you they are certainly not friends.
10.6 QUESTION: But he says he wants to share his religion with me.
ANSWER: Sharing your religion with others is a good thing. But I suggest that your friend doesn't know the difference between sharing and imposing. If I have an apple, I offer you half and you accept my offer, then I have shared with you. But if you say to me "Thank you, but I have already eaten" and I keep insisting that you take half the apple until you finally give in to my pressure, this can hardly be called sharing. People like your friend, try to disguise their bad behavior by calling it 'sharing', 'love' or 'generosity' but rude, bad manners and selfish.
10.7 QUESTION: So how can I stop him?
ANSWER: It is simple. Firstly, be clear in your mind what you want. Secondly, clearly and briefly tell him so. Thirdly, when he asks you questions like "What is your belief on this matter" or "What don't you wish to come to the meeting with me", clearly, politely and persistently repeat your first statement. "Thank you for the invitation but I would rather not come".
"Why not?"
"That is really my business. I would rather not come."
"But there will be many interesting people there."
"I am sure there will be but I would rather not come."
"I am inviting you because I care about you."
"If you clearly, patiently and persistently repeat yourself and refuse to allow
If you clearly, patiently and persistently repeat yourself and refuse to allow him to get you involved in a discussion he will eventually give up. It is a shame that you have to do this, but it is very important for people to learn that they can not impose their beliefs or wishes upon others.
10.8 QUESTION: Should Buddhists try to share the Dhamma with others?
ANSWER: Yes, they should. And I think most Buddhists understand the difference between sharing and imposing. If people ask you about Buddhism, tell them. You can even tell them about the Buddha's teachings without their asking. But if, by either their words or their actions, they let you know that they are not interested, accept that and respect their wishes. It is also important to remember that you let people know about the Dhamma far more effectively through your actions than through preaching to them, show people the Dhamma by always being considerate, kind, tolerant, upright and honest. Let the Dhamma shine forth through your speech and actions. If each of us, you and I, know the Dhamma thoroughly, practice it fully and share it generously with other, we can be of great benefit to other and ourselves also. Back 1. What Is Buddhism?
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