JOMJanet2

Shortly after my baptism, I took a road trip with 3 other friends to Utah. It was on this trip that I was able to visit the Salt Lake temple for the first time, to do "baptisms for the dead".
The view that deceased himan beings can hear and receive the gospel of Jesus Christ in the spirit world, and through proxy baptism performed for them on earth, attain eternal life in the presence of God, is one of the distinctive doctrines of Mormonism that seperates it from historic, Biblical Christianity. Mormons believe that everyone will be given a chance to accept their gospel, even those who have died. Because baptism is essential to salvation, they perform baptism by proxy for the dead.

    As Paul said 2 Corinthians 6:2, "Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation." God offers salvation to all people. Many people put off a decision for Christ, thinking that there will be a better time - but they could easily miss their opportunity altogether. There is no opportunity for salvation after death. Mormons spend a great del of their time compiliin their genealogies for this purpose as well as for additional temple rituals to be performed for their dead relatives. The Bible tells us to avoid genealogies, for they are unprofitable and useless (Titus:1).
     These rituals are done only in their temples. The outfit that you wear can best be described as a jumpsuit with snaps. All jewelry and clothes are removed and then you put on the jumpsuit. I remember being mortified because this was the first time I went bra-less since I became a young woman. After the jumpsuit is put on, you are ushered to chairs around the baptismal font, where you sit and wait your turn. A Mormon priesthood holder is in the font wiht you and reads the names of the dead off a video screen, as he baptizes you "for and on the behalf of _______________, who is dead". Being that I was such a fervent believer, this shouldhave been my ultimate religious experiene so far! Here I was in the "House of the Lord" for the first time in my life. Qwuite the opposite, though. I was filled with a feeling of dread and darkness and depression. I can't even remember how many dead people I was baptized for, because it was so long ago. However, I can remember the dark feelings that came over me as I tried to perform the rituals that I thought were commanded of God. Now I realize that God was starting to work on me and was showing the errors of my ways. However, I buried those dark feelings of dread and gloom and pretended to my friends later that it was such a wonderful, spiritual experience. Momrons aren't allowed to discuss their experiences outside of the temple, so I had no one to turn to help me. And I wasn't asking God what he thought. I had the Mormon church to tell me that and I continued to listen to their erroneous gospel that Paul warned about.
    I attended Brigham Young University for one year where my belief in Mormonism was strengthened even more. However, I remember one Sunday School lesson on sin. The teacher wrote a list of sins on the blackboard and then drew a line between the list. He said every sin below htis line would have to be confessed face to face with a bishop, or we would have no salvation. (How contrary this is to the saving blood of Jesus!!). I remember coming home from class and writing in my journal "This is one of the darkest days of my life..." How tragic that any child has to be forced to talk to a man about certain sins, when Jesus is right there with open, loving arms to console us and heal us and forgive us of our sins. There is no need for a mediator, when we can go right to our Blessed Savior. I never did confess my sins to the Mormon bishop and was convinced for a few years that I had no chance to attain one of the Momron levels of heaven because of it. This same year I was also able to meet the only other member of my family who was Momron, my 2nd cousin Doug. We had been corresponding for quite a while and he was entering the Language Trainin Mission in Provo, before he left for his mission in France.

I returned home in 1976, due to family obligations and lack of money. I continued to be active in the Joliet Ward and in Young Adults (the Mormon group for single adults) and just about every activity that they offered. It was during this time that problems that I had with various doctrines began to surface. The two main thorns in my side were polygamy and racism towards blacks. Mormons believe that polygamy is an eternal truth and will be practiced in the next life (if you are "lucky" enough to attain the highest degree of Mormon heaven). They believe that their Fathre in Heaven is an exalted man who lives on a planet near the star namd "Kolob" with his many (if not thousands) of polygamous wives., creating spiritual children the same way

children are conceived on earth. I could not comprehend how something as repulsive as polygamy could be what awaited me if I attained goddesshood someday. Mormon women can not attain godhood on their own, but if they are sealed (marriage ritual perform in their temples) to a man who attains godhood, they can then become a goddess in heaven. I remember one of the young women's teachers tell us during class, with tears streaming down her face, how she didn't want to have share her husband in the next life but if that was what Heavenly Father wanted, she would accept it. How tragic what Mormon women have to endure as they strive to please God. I also had a very hard time accepting that blacks were cursed and that black skin was a sign of the curse.
It was because of my concerns over these doctrines that I set up a time to meet with the bishop. He told me it was my lack of faith that caused me to quesiton these doctrines and that I needed to pray and stop questioning. He wouldn't talk to me at all, nor would he try and help me understand how these doctrines could be from God. He also encouraged me to quit my job because he said it was a bad influence on me. That was completely bizarre to me because I don't think he knew anything about my job or the people that I worked with. I left his office in tears.
Not long after this, my home teachers came to pay their monthly visit. Home teachers are assigned to each family (or single person) in the ward and they offer counsel and support the members. They also report any problems back to the Bishop, so that he knows what is going on. It was in my parents living room that one of my home teachers counseled me to leave home and to have nothing more to do with my "non-member" parents. Maybe they were thinking it was my parents that were causing me to doubt and question. However, even though my parents and I had religious differences. I loved them dearly and had no intention of "divorcing" them because of it. I also was smart enough to know that