xxx:  ME I GOT A LOUSY ATTITUDE

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     you gotta work thru those hard times...the challanges of life

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I think I have a pretty good attitude

xxx:  I NEED TO WORK ON IT 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     that is why I want to teach

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     good for you

xxx:  YOU GOT A GREAT ATTITUDE 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     thanks Ken

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I am trying

xxx:  I DONT KNOW HOW YOIU DO IT 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     when I was a kid in germany we had this Christmas carol

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and the words kinda stuck with me

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     it does not take much to be happy

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     but the one who is happy

 MrSelfDevelopmnt:    is king

xxx:: OH I SEE 

xxx:: I GET IT 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     you gotta maintain that magic and wonder we had as children

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     when we had it

xxx:: I WANT TO BE KING 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     before we somehow lost it

xxx:  I WAS DEPRESSED AS A CHILD 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     just don't let the problem and troubles get you down

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     sorry buddy

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     remember, everything has reasons

xxx:  YOU THINK SO 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I know so

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     absolutely

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     it does not come from nowhere

xxx:  ONE TIME I TOOK A LOT OF ILLEGAL DRUGS AND SAW JESUS 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     really

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     well garsh darn it

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     lol

xxx:  IT STAYS WITH ME TO THIS DAY 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     how and when was that

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I bet

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     tell me about it

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I don't mean to pry

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     just very interested

xxx:  JESUS MADE ME TO UNDERSTAND WHY THE WORLD WAS CREATED 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     oh please,,......tell me

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     yes

xxx:  HE HELD ME AND I FELT GODS' INFINITE LOVE . IT WAS LOVE BEYONE REASON BUT I UNDERSTOOD . I TOLD JESUS THAT I HAD TO GET BACK TO THE WORLD TO TELL EVERYONE 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     hey there, you are on a mission then

xxx:  I GUESS SO . JESUS WAS ALL LIGHT WITHOUT ANY SHADOW  

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and..what happened???

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     wow

xxx:  WELL AT FIRST I WAS IN ROOMS THAT WAS DIFFERENT COLORS 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     ok

xxx:  IT WAS NICE BUT I SENSE SOMETHING MISSING 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     yes

xxx:  THAN I SAW A PIN PRICK OF LIGHT 

xxx:  I WILL MYSELF TOWARD IT 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and

xxx:  THE LIGHT GREW STRRONGER AND THAN THERE WAS JESUS . HE WAS THE LIGHT 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     wow

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     how long was that ago????

xxx:  WE TALKED BUT NOT IN WORDS WITH OUR MOUTHS BUT HE HELD ME IN HIS LAP AND LET ME FEEL THE LOVE THAT CREATED EVERYTHING 

xxx:: 30 YEARS AGO BUT ITS LIKE YESTERDAY FOR ME 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     wow

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     what an experience

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and..what have you learned from it????

xxx:  I REALLY TOOK A LOT OF DRUGS . MAYBE I TOOK TOO MUCH AND DIED . I DONT' KNOW . BUT I THINK ABOUT IT OFTEN . ESSPECIALLY WHEN IM' DEPRESSED

xxx:  GODS' INFINITE LOVE FOR US 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     you should feel the love Ken and let it fill you up

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     right

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I kind of feel the same way

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and infinite love for people

xxx:  REALLY . YOU BELIEVE IN JESUS ?

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I believe in life

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and love

xxx:  BUT WHAT ABOUT GOD ?

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I always had a problem with the biblical account of creation , and Jesus, and sin

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I can tell you though what I believe

xxx:  CREATION IS A MYTH . WHEN I SAW JESUS HE DIDNT' MENTION IT 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     yeah

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I agree

xxx:  WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE ?

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     that people sin by having a very wrong sense of power

xxx:  DO YOU BELIEVE IN A AFTER LIFE ?

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     actually,

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I don't really care about that

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I think the meaning of life is life itself

xxx:  I UNDERSTAND 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     therefore the full development and growth shoud be the focus

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     unlike what has been happening so far

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     power has priority over people

xxx:  BUT TO WHAT PURPOSE ?

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     to what purpose?

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     life is purpose

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     just look around

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     look at every plant and animal, look at our wonderful nature, or what is left of it

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     it is all very purposeful

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     that was until man came and messed it up

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     with his ignorance and greed

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and hunger for power

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     very sad

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     even how we grow up

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     how unfree, we are controlled, learn for the system

xxx:  THERE WAS A TIME WHEN MAN HAD VERY LITTLE INPACT ON THE WORLD 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     well..that shure changed

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     once we transcended our natural ties with nature

xxx:  YEAH WERE LIKE A CANCER TO THE WORLD 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     interesting here that this goes together with the bibical account of man being thrown out of paradise

xxx:  WE JUST EAT IT AWAY 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     cause he ate from the tree of knowledge, he gained conscience

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     but how we have used our conscience and free will

xxx:  YEAH 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and how we should use it

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     that is what I am talking about

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     time to focus on life and people I think

xxx:  I UNDERSTAND . 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     that is how in a small way we can redeem ourselves I believe

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     for the mess we have created

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     we really don't deserve to live forever on this planet

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     cause we just don't understand what life is all about

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     we are too busy

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     we have develop this world, our environment, but not life

xxx:  I THINK THE EARTH CAN DO WITH US BEING HERE. THATS TRUE 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     but not for much longer

xxx:  I THINK ONE DAY MAN WILL BE EXTINCT

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     the last generation being able to live and die of old age might be born now

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     absolutely

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     we destroy ourselves

xxx:  MAN WILL BE SPIRIT

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     aliens from other planets must think of us as very stupid

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     man will be no more

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     machines might take over

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     who knows

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     al that matters that we have time to make a difference

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and the time is now

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     when I was a kid, I was sitting one day at the breakfast table

xxx:  OK

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     while my dad was reading the paper

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and there was a picture of this poor little african girl

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and I asked my mom very naively, like kids do at times

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     how come I am me and not her

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     it really took a while for me to realize the depth of this question

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     so I developed this strong sense of compassion for all the troubles happening to people all over the world

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I found out that we should be very thankful

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     for all the things we have

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     that we have food

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     are healthy

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and whatever bad is happening to us

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     it could be always worse

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     we could have on leg missing

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     or having to search for food in trash cans

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     garsh , just imagine living like that

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     at least we have a chance

xxx:  I LOST MY SON AND IT DONT' GET NO WORST THAN THAT 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     most people just struggle surviving

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     yeah..that must be tough

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I am so sorry to hear that

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     may I ask how

xxx:  HE WAS MURDERED 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     garsh..that is terrible

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     Ken..I realy feel for you

xxx:  YES IT DONT' GET NO WORST THAN THAT 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     not that it really matters

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     still

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     he wanted you to go on

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and live out his great memory

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and not to give up on life

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     cause someone did something horrific

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     you are important Ken

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     we need you here among us

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     you have a lot of love and goodness to share

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     don't let the bad stuff eat you from the inside

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     there is goodness in the world

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I know

xxx:  I MISS HIM . BUT THE OBITUARY SAID THAT HE WAS SURVIVED BY AND NAMED FAMILY MEMBERS ,IT ONLY SAID SURVIVED BY . IT DIDNT SAY WE WOULD BE HAPPY OR RICH ;JUST THAT HE WAS SURVIVE BY . THAT WAS MY INSTRUCTIONS FROM SOCIETY

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     that is strange

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     but he lives on in your heart..your soul...your mind

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     let this give you strength

xxx:  HE IS IN HEAVEN 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     he is part of you

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and he will always be

xxx:  MY DAUGHTER SAW HIM IN VISION AND SHE SAYS HE IS VERY HAPPY

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     he is right her...with you

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     so he needs you to be happy too

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and while it is hard

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I only can begin to understand that

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I really can sympathize deeply with what you went thru

xxx:  ANYWAY ALL THESE THINGS SHAPE US AND MOLD US .PEOPLE ARENT' BORN MEAN . I THINK PEOPLE GET MEAN BECAUSE THEY WERE HUMILATED IN THERE LIFE AT SOME POINT 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     absolutely correct

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     very true

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I don't think people are innate evil..they learn to be this way

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     thru sociey....cruel conditions....no love in their life...no understanding

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     it's very sad

xxx:  AND THE HUMILATION JUST MADE THEM MEAN . I WAS HUMILATED AS A CHILD AND IT MADE ME MEAN UNTIL I REALIZED THIS 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I can only begin to understand

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I felt a little humiliated going to school

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     kids calling you 4 eyes

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     making fun of you

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I know..this is only a weak example

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     still

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     it is wrong

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and we call this normal child behavior

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     we need to learn to respect...accept...appreciate and understand one another

xxx:  IT DOSENT.' MATTER HOW SMALL THE HUMILATION WHAT MATTERS IS HOW IT EFFECTS THE PERSON 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     only then can we make this world a better place

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     right

xxx:  I HOPE I CAN MAKE A DIFFRENCE . I DONT' KNOW . 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     yes you can

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     be yourself..be alive...be happy....be genuine....that is all it takes

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     be loving

xxx:  I USE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE  BUT NOW IM' AT LOOSE ENDS 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     that is what we need

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     you can get out of it

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     start a new

MrSelfDevelopmnt:       it is never to late for that

xxx:  ITS VERY CONFUSING TO ME . MAKING A DIFFERENCE THAT IS . 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     well

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     you need to become well on the inside first

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     most people try to make a difference by doing things for others, charity..which is great

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     but 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I think we can make the best difference

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     by becoming the most loving

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     genuine

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     caring

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     friendly

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     us we can be

xxx:  I THINK SO ,I GOT TO GET THE CURE . IM' CLINICALLY DEPRESSED . I HAVE TO GET WELL 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     hope I can be of any help

xxx:  YOU ARE OF GREAT HELP 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     thank you Ken

xxx:  I GET POSITIVE FEED BACK FROM SOMEONE WHO IS SUFFERING 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     cool

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     but I don't wanna suffer anymore.I wann live

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     too long I have endured a crappy life

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     time has come to make things right

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     however hard it is

xxx:  THIS IS A HARD TIME FOR YOU . CHRIS SOMETIMES WE GOT TO SUFFER  

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     time to stand up for yourself

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     well

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I already went thur the worst

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I can tell you stories

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     when I was so consumed with anger over my wife

xxx:  YEAH I BET 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     several years ago

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     it was the worst

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I was soo immature then

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I have lots of guilt because of that

xxx:  YOU WERE PUSHED TOO FAR 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I have done my shares of mistakes

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     but I let myself being pushed

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I have learned that

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     that it was my choice

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I could have just accepted her for who she was

xxx:  OH I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN . 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     but no

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I had to get anngry over her

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     tried to change her

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     that is how I have learned about self-control

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     don't even try to control or change others

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     it most likely won't happen

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     begin by yourself

xxx:  I STOPPED TRYING TO CHANGE MY WIFE ABOUT 24 YRS AGO

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     whatever is going on around you

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     good for you

xxx:  I JUST ACCEPTED THINGS 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     such a waste of energy trying to change others

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     right

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     only then  can we live with people on the basis of who they really are

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and not trying to mold them into how we want them to

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     nobody wants that

xxx:  SHE USED TO DRINK  AND I GET UPSET . THEN I JUST STOPPED GETTING UPSET AND LET HER BE 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I wish I could turn back the hands of time

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I would have done it all very differently

xxx:  OH MAN SO DO I 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     but life is all about learning from our mistakes

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     makes us a better person

xxx:  SOMETIMES THE KNOWLEDGE ISNT' WORTH THE PAIN 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     no sense living in the past, hoping..wishing...if I just had done this differently..will not make a damn difference...life is about the here and now

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     knowledge is important

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     but more important is what we do with the knowledge

xxx:  I RATHER BE BLISSFULLY DUMB

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     hey

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     don't say that

xxx:  LIKE ADAM AND EVE BEFORE THEY GOT KICKED OUT OF THE GARDEN 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     well

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     they were unconscious

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     were one with nature

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     just like all the other animals

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and you know what happened then

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     the beginning of man

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and at the same time...the downfall of mankind

xxx:  YES 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I think there is a lesson to be learned here

xxx:  SURE IS . 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     yep

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     and i want to teach that lesson

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     quite an undertaking

xxx:  BUT I BELIEVE I AM NOT ACTING ALONE BUT COOPERATING WITH THE INVINCIBLE POWER OF A LOVING GOD 

xxx:  AND ALSO WITH TRUSTWORTHY HELPERS 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     great

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     so glad I met you 

xxx:  LIKEWISE 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     swell

xxx:  IT GOOD TO TALK THINGS OUT 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     time to make a difference

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     absolutely

xxx:  YOU CAN DO IT 

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     I think that one of the main problem when we grow up

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     is that nobody is really talking to us

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     that nobody is listening

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     we are just bombarded with all this knowledge

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     we are indoctrinated, expected to be obedient

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     but in a way, our human sprits are broken

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     we loose our freedom to be alive

MrSelfDevelopmnt:     we become fearful and insecure, and loose our sense of being who we are on the inside

 

Please take me back to the conversations page

 

Please take me back to the main page