XXXXX: hi chris
MrSelfDevelopmnt: how are you
today?
XXXXX: ok i guess a little nervous
XXXXX: i just get nervous , its anxiety because
things are so uncertain . i shouldn’t' feel this but hey , thet’s why i see a
psychiatrist once a week
XXXXX: you think things are meant to be ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: always
MrSelfDevelopmnt: everything
is meant to be
XXXXX: than what happens to us is part of a grand design ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: of course.....but still..we have choices and free will...the problems begins with how we use our free will..the problem begins with our ego..something that I am writing about as well ..being vs having
MrSelfDevelopmnt: life is
about being
MrSelfDevelopmnt: not having
MrSelfDevelopmnt: sorry, here
I go again preaching....
XXXXX: sounds interesting .but whatever the trouble we have it is one of
these things that can and do happen to human beings
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I
understand
MrSelfDevelopmnt: terrible
things do happen to people
XXXXX: disaster or collapse in life of a creature cannot change god
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but you can
change yourself
MrSelfDevelopmnt: did you
ever hear of Victor Frankl
MrSelfDevelopmnt: he wrote a
book called "man's search for meaning"
XXXXX: that’s what we must do ..........no i dont' recall the name
MrSelfDevelopmnt: in which he
describes his experiences in a german concentration camp
MrSelfDevelopmnt: where
unbelievable cruel and inhumane experiments were performed on him
XXXXX: did he find meaning ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and he
realized there that there is one last freedom these people can touch, can't
take away from him
XXXXX: what’s that ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: he found
that while people can hurt him on the outside
MrSelfDevelopmnt: they can't
control his inner freedom
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that they
could not take that away from him
MrSelfDevelopmnt: they could
hurt him, and humiliate him
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but they
could not touch his inner sense of who he was on the inside
XXXXX: he must be very strong
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and that
kept him alive
XXXXX: most wouldn’t' and didn’t' survive
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I think it
is a wonderful example of how to best endure
hardship and suffering
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right..that
is why he became a professor
MrSelfDevelopmnt: all of his
family died there
XXXXX: there was a man that was going for his ph d ' and he was in a
contenration camp
MrSelfDevelopmnt: yes
XXXXX: and he was extremly nervous about his desertation
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and
XXXXX: nobody could understand why he was so nervous after all he was a
survivor
XXXXX: but i understood
MrSelfDevelopmnt: do
tell...please
XXXXX: he needed that ph d' in order to have a sense of control over his
life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: i see
XXXXX: if he failed than he failed to gain control over his life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: i
understand
XXXXX: his life was destroyed by the nazis
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it is
sad
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but that is
exactly what Frankl's point was
MrSelfDevelopmnt: he did not
want to give them the power to destroy his life
XXXXX: sometimes a human needs a sense of control . thats why i went to
school
MrSelfDevelopmnt: they could hurt
his body
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but they
could not take away his soul
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and that is
why I am so big on self control
XXXXX: but in life people do lose their souls
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right...but
why
MrSelfDevelopmnt: cause of
circumstances
MrSelfDevelopmnt: conditions
MrSelfDevelopmnt:
experiences?
XXXXX: because they have no control over the circumstances
MrSelfDevelopmnt: if we are
truly centered beings...nobody and nothing can break or spirit, our soul
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but that is
exactly my point MAN
XXXXX: so they will do anything
MrSelfDevelopmnt: don't even
try to control your circumstances
MrSelfDevelopmnt: live in
them
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and be
alive
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is
what you can do...work on yourself..change yourself..or rather..be changed ..be
open...don't try to change things around you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: let is be
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and be
yourself
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is my
point
MrSelfDevelopmnt: my message
basically
XXXXX: i agree but how is the question ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: what do you
mean?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: what
question
XXXXX: is there a dynamic involved ; like is there a tangible way ? or
do we just realize the truth and act on it ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we become
truth
MrSelfDevelopmnt: alive
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but we need
to realize who we are on the inside..and develop on that notion..and bring
ourselves into existence..
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and at the
same time be open to what is going on around us
XXXXX: i see
MrSelfDevelopmnt: learning to
perceive the truth is essential
MrSelfDevelopmnt: learning to
see things as they are
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and not as
we are
MrSelfDevelopmnt:
again...openness is key
XXXXX: sounds hard to do if things are going badly
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I bet
MrSelfDevelopmnt: unless you
realize how grand, magnificent life is
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and that
you have it all within you
XXXXX: it sure would be good . i keep seeing life as bad .i think
because of past experiences . my job was my controlling factor . as long as i
had my job i was in control
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I fully
understand
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but
again..that is not life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is
what happened to you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: how you
experienced life
XXXXX: it was for me
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I bet
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I
completely understand
XXXXX: so now I’m' like in a hellish limbo
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I see
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I might be
time to come out of that limbo Man
XXXXX: I’m' neither here nor there
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I see
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you are
here with me
XXXXX: baby steps
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right..baby
steps
MrSelfDevelopmnt: very good
XXXXX: just small steps at a time
MrSelfDevelopmnt: excellent...you
can't rush the natural process of healing
XXXXX: I used to cry but now i don’t .
XXXXX: I would actually cry
MrSelfDevelopmnt: crying is a
very important emotion
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I have done
that myself
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I am a very
emotional person
MrSelfDevelopmnt: crying
feels very real
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it is a
very true emotion
XXXXX: but now I don’t. so am I
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I see
XXXXX: I don’t' cry anymore . but I get depressed . depression is hell
.
MrSelfDevelopmnt: crying
might be better then
XXXXX: you feel all disconnected
MrSelfDevelopmnt: a good cry
can do wonders
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I see
XXXXX: I cant' cry anymore
MrSelfDevelopmnt:
mmmmmmhhhmmmmm
XXXXX: it just doesn’t' happen
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I think you
could
XXXXX: I wish I could
MrSelfDevelopmnt: if you
really feel the pain..and the reasons for the pain
XXXXX: maybe I’m' getting better
MrSelfDevelopmnt: all the
shit you went thru
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I think you
are getting better Man
XXXXX: it just takes time .
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I believe
in you ...you're gonna be fine
XXXXX: i use to dream my son was alive and when i woke up i have to tell
myself that he is dead and try to accept that
MrSelfDevelopmnt: just take
it easy on yourself
MrSelfDevelopmnt: yeah...you
told me that
XXXXX: this went on for
years
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you don't
have those dreams anymore
XXXXX: now i get up and have
to remind myself that I lost the all important job .........no not since I was
fired . I had a few but rarely now do I dream of him that he is alive
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I see
XXXXX: dreams are really strange . you can learn a lot from them or they
can be terrible because your mind is free to create realities
MrSelfDevelopmnt: absolutely
XXXXX: but the realities are only dreams
MrSelfDevelopmnt: well
XXXXX: so they are a form of torment
MrSelfDevelopmnt: nothing
more...nothing less
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but your mind
is trying to tell you something...your dreams are too
XXXXX: yes i believe that . i think the dreams are a way of escaping
reality
MrSelfDevelopmnt: the message
is..leave the past be....and move on...you need to live it..you owe it to
yourself
XXXXX: because the reality is too harsh
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it depends
on how you look at it
XXXXX: yes my perspective is distorted by reality
MrSelfDevelopmnt: interesting
MrSelfDevelopmnt: very
interesting
XXXXX: the more i understand reality the more distorted my thinking
becomes ............
XXXXX: i talked to my doctor about it
MrSelfDevelopmnt: amazing
what power reality can have..to distort your perspective...you think that is
good Man...you give reality that power...is there no other way Man?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: sorry.for
talking so much,.....I just think it is highly interesting
XXXXX: he says i dwell too much on things .........reality hurts so much
. i cant' escape it or accept it
MrSelfDevelopmnt: yep/..you
have to accept it..unconditionally...sorry ...but things won't change because
you don't like it...
MrSelfDevelopmnt: focus on
yourself
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is
what you can change
XXXXX: i need courage to get through the day
XXXXX: courage to face reality
MrSelfDevelopmnt: where do
you think you can get that from?
XXXXX: i dont know . i think courage is an attitude of mind
MrSelfDevelopmnt: very good
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it all lies
within
MrSelfDevelopmnt: waiting to
come out
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you have
all the courage you need, you just need to bring it out
XXXXX: if we develop a good attitude courage comes along
XXXXX: good attitude is something that can be develop internally
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right
XXXXX: some are stronger than others
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right...but
some just have not realized and actualized their inner strenth
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we all have
it
XXXXX: you think so ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we just
have a different way of expressing it
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I know so
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is why
I like the concept of developing yourself
MrSelfDevelopmnt: developing
on your potentialities
MrSelfDevelopmnt: on your
inner strength and creativity
XXXXX: than my personal breakdown is blessing in disguise
MrSelfDevelopmnt: developing
you inner power
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it might
be
MrSelfDevelopmnt: how great
of you to begin looking of it this way
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you have
soo much to give
XXXXX: its that i feel i have no where in life to go . work gave me a
sense of purpose . whats my purpose now ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: to be
happy.....to give love....to listen...to understand...to be real
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is
your purpose first and foremost I think
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and good
things will happen
XXXXX: it makes sense
MrSelfDevelopmnt: life is an
adventure ...begin living it...take chances....become open to new experiences
MrSelfDevelopmnt: there is so
much out there
MrSelfDevelopmnt: waiting for
you to explore
XXXXX: i dont' see it that way . maybe its all an illusion . time and
space are not real . the only reality is infinity
MrSelfDevelopmnt: hhhhmmmmm
XXXXX: if there was a beginning for time and space than what was before
that ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: who knows..who
cares...sorry...I concern myself mainly with what is...with life..I don't even
concern myself with what happens after we die...life is all that matters I
think
XXXXX: once we realize that we part of infinity than we can understand
our true nature
MrSelfDevelopmnt: which is?
XXXXX: that the god who made us gave us part of him that is infinite . and he can overcome any evil that affects my life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: good
XXXXX: you see what i mean ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I do
XXXXX: clear unstandings make long friendships
MrSelfDevelopmnt: absolutely
XXXXX: instead of being a person when i had a breakdown i was just an
emotional reaction
MrSelfDevelopmnt: very good
XXXXX: all in all what are we building on our lives ? feeling, appearances or reality . which
of these things do we want most of all ?to feel good , to look good or to be
good ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt:
right.....it starts by being good..on the inside
XXXXX: yes but my breakdown left me radically self centered
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I
understand
XXXXX: what i need is courageous living
XXXXX: some people are very
unhappy that they resort to alcohol and drugs
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right
XXXXX: i dont drink at all ....
MrSelfDevelopmnt: good for
you
XXXXX: dont' take illegal drugs either
MrSelfDevelopmnt: excellent
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but lots of
prescription drugs....right?
XXXXX: my only bad habit is smoking . but when i wasnt' depressed i
didnt' smoke.......yeh i take a lot of prescriptions drugs
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I see
XXXXX: anti depressants
MrSelfDevelopmnt: look what I
just came across...and concept of God that Erich Fromm developed..I think it is
wonderful and soo true:
MrSelfDevelopmnt: GOD is a
symbol for the act of leaving the prison of one's ego and achieving the freedom
of openness and relatedness to the world.
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it is not
easy..I can understand..but that is truly what i think GOD is all
about....learnig the art of living
MrSelfDevelopmnt: regardless
or inspite of how harsh reality is
MrSelfDevelopmnt: life is for
the living
XXXXX: but god is more than a symbol he is reality or the final
reality
MrSelfDevelopmnt: GOD is a
symbol of life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: GOD is life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: life in
it's purest form
MrSelfDevelopmnt: in it's
essence
XXXXX: without god there is no life ?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but again
MrSelfDevelopmnt: God IS LIFE
MrSelfDevelopmnt: he can not
be found somewhere out there
MrSelfDevelopmnt: he is right
here
MrSelfDevelopmnt: within
XXXXX: i believe jesus died for us and is the son of god
MrSelfDevelopmnt: see...I
have a problem with that concept
MrSelfDevelopmnt: with Jesus
dying for our sins
XXXXX: god and jesus are the same
MrSelfDevelopmnt: the biggest
sin is that we are so ignorant and selfish
XXXXX: i agree
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and
life...let's just call it that.....life is the key...life....nothing else
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but of
course..if you look at reality....and the system..which we serve...it is kinda
hard to value life
XXXXX: but its human nature to be selfish ; god is not selfish
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it is all
very unnatural
XXXXX: we are alienated
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I disagree
with how human nature is
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right...we
are alienated
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and that is
what we should learn growing up
XXXXX: by the process of socialization
MrSelfDevelopmnt: how to
overcome our self-centeredness
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and become
human
MrSelfDevelopmnt:
socialization is a problem...definitely
MrSelfDevelopmnt: we become
consumers..producers
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and live
for the weekend
XXXXX: we are made neurotic
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it's a
shame
MrSelfDevelopmnt: in a
way...but also we let ourselves being made that way
MrSelfDevelopmnt:
unconsciosuly..but nevertheless
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is why
is is important to gain full conscienceness
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and become
aware
XXXXX: yes it is a shame . but if we can grow and be mature we can
understand that we need to love life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: absolutely
XXXXX: i think thats why
depression is so terrible . we dont' love life . people hate it so much that
they kill their selves
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I could not
have put that better myself
XXXXX: many people hate life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: they are
conditioned in a bad way, and they let themselves being conditioned
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I have
found that out
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I feel like
a spokesperson for live....
XXXXX: some of it biological too
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right
XXXXX: i feel ok today after to talking to you . you motivated me to try
and love life . i hope i can do it well . that is live today well
MrSelfDevelopmnt: excellent
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I feel
honored to be able of help to you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: good luck
and thanks
XXXXX: its a slow process .
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but a
process nevertheless
MrSelfDevelopmnt:
continuously moving forward
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