Xxxx: let me tell you my girlfriend came over and of cause she had her laptop and I had my pc working and she kept getting IM's I told her turn that damn computer off lol and we both shut them off cause we both had IM's going crazy she wanted to see who

Xxxx: let me tell you my girlfriend came over and of cause she had her laptop and I had my pc working and she kept getting IM's I told her turn that damn computer off lol and we both shut them off cause we both had IM's going crazy she wanted to see who was IM-ing me and she didn't want me to see who was IM'ing her...
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I hate that in a relationship
MrSelfDevelopmnt: this sense of ownership
Xxxx: but that was good cause she will know that one day you are going to find someone that will appreciate you more
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I think in a good relationship..you let each other be
Xxxx: I know my girlfriend is very jealous
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I see
Xxxx: yes very true
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I think if you really love someone...you do not have to be jealous
MrSelfDevelopmnt: loving also means to accept a person as they are
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and it is not about controlling your partner
MrSelfDevelopmnt: or telling them what they can or can not do
Xxxx: but she has change alot last night I was very depressed looking at all the changes she had done in our relationship that it is not the same anymore
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I see
Xxxx: no cause jealousy is a sign of insecurity
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you got that right
MrSelfDevelopmnt: did you ever look at that segment of my web page about love
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you might like that
Xxxx: and I'm not insecure but she give me the motive that there is someone else in the picture I just feel it
MrSelfDevelopmnt: mmmmmh
MrSelfDevelopmnt: did you ever ta;lk to her openly and honestly about your concerns??
Xxxx: yes
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and....?
MrSelfDevelopmnt: her response
Xxxx: that she loves me and can not turn her back on me
Xxxx: cause it would hurt her heart
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but did you help her understand what concerns you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: about her jealousy
Xxxx: but Chris I don't feel that she really loves me anymore
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and maybe help her to see that she need to worry less about you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: well...feelings can be misleading
Xxxx: forget about the jealousy that doesn't concern me
MrSelfDevelopmnt: what concerns you then
Xxxx: it's the changes she has done
Xxxx: that she is not the same person anymore
MrSelfDevelopmnt: well.we all change
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you know....life is change
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but I guess you do not like the way she changed
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and you know,,..that is also part of love,....being there for somebody
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and helping them thru all the changes they go thru
Xxxx: but if you love someone you don't change with them you always let them know your feelings and they are not responsible for the changes you are going though in your family it is not that persons fault
MrSelfDevelopmnt: some people are better about expressing their feelings than others
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and maybe there is something that concerns her too that she is not sharing
MrSelfDevelopmnt: maybe she is scared...I mean....do you know exactly what she is going thru
Xxxx: yes but what is you feel that this person is not sharing any feelings and thoughts to you anymore that you do everything and you are no longer in this persons world
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you can help her open up more by showing her that you love her
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and are there for her
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but she still might not open up
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I mean....you can not force people to let you in on their world
Xxxx: but Chris I do I send her gifts I tell her every day how much I love her and that I'm there for her
MrSelfDevelopmnt: love takes time and lots of effort
Xxxx: I know but why can she let me go
MrSelfDevelopmnt: let you go??
MrSelfDevelopmnt: what do you mean
MrSelfDevelopmnt: not everybody can show love in a way that you show love
Xxxx: so I can live my life and not have to think about how hurt I'm feeling
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and how you expect them to show love
Xxxx: being the way she use to be
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that will never be I think
MrSelfDevelopmnt: people change all the time
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and if you really love someone...you will be there for them
MrSelfDevelopmnt: regardless
MrSelfDevelopmnt: or inspire of al the changes
MrSelfDevelopmnt: the way we remember a person and how they once were when we fell in love..that is only an illusion....an image we hold on to..love is a matter of loving a person in their entirity..as they are...and not as we want them or need them to be
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is why....love takes time..and is way ..way more than a feeling
MrSelfDevelopmnt: love is an action..an attitude
Xxxx: Chris I love her with all my heart but I'm hurt
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I hear that
Xxxx: I understand all that really I do
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and I am very sorry
Xxxx: but I'm hurt and she is not here for me
Xxxx: so what am I too do

MrSelfDevelopmnt: well...you know
MrSelfDevelopmnt: love is forgiving
MrSelfDevelopmnt: don't hold it against her that you are hurt
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is actually no her fault
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I mean
MrSelfDevelopmnt: yeah
MrSelfDevelopmnt: she is not there for you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: during that time
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but maybe she has stuff to deal with to
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and has no clue that you are hurt
Xxxx: I wrote to her a letter last night telling her everything I felt... Yes I know this but to ignore you complete what are you going to think of then
MrSelfDevelopmnt: maybe she is hurt too
MrSelfDevelopmnt: she did not respond to your letter..?
Xxxx: nope
MrSelfDevelopmnt: mmmh
MrSelfDevelopmnt: well...that can have different reasons
Xxxx: she don't call me no more no e-mail
MrSelfDevelopmnt: maybe she does not know what to say
Xxxx: that is no excuse
MrSelfDevelopmnt: maybe she is scared
MrSelfDevelopmnt: listen
MrSelfDevelopmnt: lesson number one when it comes to love
MrSelfDevelopmnt: love is understanding
Xxxx: okay so tell me why I feel so hurt
MrSelfDevelopmnt: cause you have expectations
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and they were not met
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that's as easy as that
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I mean...I do not know what else to tell you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: people are different
Xxxx: that I miss her so much the fact that she is not the way she use to be... she doesn't show me anymore how much she loved me and care for me before she always send me cards via mail send me stuff but what top the cream on the cake that she didn't even send me a birthday card and didn't even acknowledge my birthday
Xxxx: and didn't even send me anything for xmas can you believe but she send my son a gift now what is that
MrSelfDevelopmnt: well....from what you tell me
MrSelfDevelopmnt: something must be going on with her
MrSelfDevelopmnt: something she is not telling you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: think back??
MrSelfDevelopmnt: can you think of anything
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that happened between the time you were really close...and when things began to change
Xxxx: well the fact that her son came back home
MrSelfDevelopmnt: aha
Xxxx: don't know what more to think
MrSelfDevelopmnt: try to find out what is going on with her
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and try to be understanding
Xxxx: Chris what can I do wait for ever
MrSelfDevelopmnt: go to her
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and talk
Xxxx: I have
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and..what did she say..?
Xxxx: and no response
MrSelfDevelopmnt: no way
MrSelfDevelopmnt: she just sat there..and did not say a word
Xxxx: that she can not let me walk away
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I can not believe that
Xxxx: yes
MrSelfDevelopmnt: how about you just spend some time with her
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and not even bring up anything
MrSelfDevelopmnt: sooner or later I have the feeling she will talk
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but..you gotta give her time
Xxxx: I just want to go far away and not look back at anything
MrSelfDevelopmnt: so..you don;t want that relationship anymore
Xxxx: because this is just ripping my heart off
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I see
Xxxx: it is not easy Chris when you love someone and they just take you for granted
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that is true
Xxxx: I cry you have no idea
Xxxx: how it hurts me
Xxxx: I need to go far away
MrSelfDevelopmnt: no
Xxxx: where I won't look back at nothing
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you need to understand that people are different
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and accept that
Xxxx: and forget about the world
MrSelfDevelopmnt: love takes time
MrSelfDevelopmnt: hey..don't blame it on the world now
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I mean....we all have our sorrows
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you know I have
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but life is something great
Xxxx: yes but one way to give in to everything is going away and forgetting that person ever existed in your life and life continues
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it is just that our expectations and needs get in the way of seing that

Xxxx: yes I know
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I think you should not try to forget about her
Xxxx: but you still hurt
MrSelfDevelopmnt: you know..no pain....no gain
MrSelfDevelopmnt: it is all an experience
Xxxx: but there is alot of pain
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that we can learn from
MrSelfDevelopmnt: well..I know
MrSelfDevelopmnt: then ..lots of pain.....lots of gain
Xxxx: yep that is what life is all about pain and experience that is how you learn
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but you know what I talked to you about concerning my philospophy on life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: pain only exists in our mind
MrSelfDevelopmnt: because we take everything personal
Xxxx: I know and the hardest of all that I always treat them good and at the end they always leave me
Xxxx: yes that is very true
MrSelfDevelopmnt: if you become more realistic..and accepting of how people really are
MrSelfDevelopmnt: then..that is gonna make all the difference
Xxxx: and there is a reason for everything in life
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right...
Xxxx: but I'm more realistic and know there is a meaning to everything
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I know you do
MrSelfDevelopmnt: right
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and if you understand that meaning
Xxxx: and why things happen is for a reason
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and look beyond how people make you feel
MrSelfDevelopmnt: then..evertything changes
MrSelfDevelopmnt: life is grand
MrSelfDevelopmnt: learning how to live..that is the tricky part
Xxxx: ahummm
MrSelfDevelopmnt: and look beyond our needs and expectations
Xxxx: okay but my crying stopped
MrSelfDevelopmnt: that's good
Xxxx: for the moment
Xxxx: just have a lump on my throat
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I see
Xxxx: thank you Chris I thank you for being here for me
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I always will be
Xxxx: yes I know I guess I'm impatient
Xxxx: thanks me too
MrSelfDevelopmnt: maybe a little
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but that is understable
Xxxx: ohhhh wait girlfriend just got on lets see if she IM's me
Xxxx: once she reads the letter
Xxxx: lol
Xxxx: what you think her reaction is going to be ???
Xxxx: she probably push me to the curb
Xxxx: lol
MrSelfDevelopmnt: who knows
MrSelfDevelopmnt: only time will tell
Xxxx: ahummmm
Xxxx: yep
Xxxx: but hope is soon but let me tell you Chris there will never be another long distance relationship ever again I swear
Xxxx: can't deal with this
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I hear ya
Xxxx: you see I always say she is not better then me I'm not better then her but she is not better then me so if she wants me she will look for me
Xxxx: I did my share
MrSelfDevelopmnt: well..I don't believe you do you share and that is it
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I think you always need to do more than that
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but I understand
Xxxx: Chris sometimes it is time for that person to acknowledge you
Xxxx: not all the time it has to be you to give in
MrSelfDevelopmnt: yeah.....I hear you
MrSelfDevelopmnt: but I am not talking about giving in
Xxxx: so don't think I haven't tried
MrSelfDevelopmnt: I am talking about being more proactive

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