| Random T-Shirt Sayings Cont. |
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| Stamp Out Crime. Abolish the IRS. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. What am I? Fly paper for freaks? I'm not rude. You're just insignificant. If I save time, when do I get it back? A.S.A.P. means Always Say A Prayer. Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep. What was the best thing before sliced bread? Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. I may be fat, but you are ugly and I can lose weight. I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. If the left side of the brain controls the right hand, then only left-handed people are in their right mind. Why does your nose run and your feet smell? Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. Money Isn't Everything...But It Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. Are you sure I’m (age)? I want a recount! Does fuzzy logic tickle? Born free. Taxed to death. If “pro” is the opposite of “con,” is progress the opposite of congress? All Men Are Animals. Some Just Make Better Pets. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. Enjoy Life! Eat Out More Often. I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want? Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. The 11th commandment: Thou Shalt NOT Whine! Work Harder. People on Welfare Depend on You. Princess, having sufficient experience with Princes, seeks frog. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software. God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will live forever. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. Life is too short. Don't be a jerk. Ignore the dog. Watch out for the owner. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. |