| Random T-Shirt Sayings Cont. |
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| I'm a Bomb technician, if you see me run, TRY TO CATCH UP!!! I'm out of bed and dressed....What more do you want. I love cats...dead ones. One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day. I want to die while asleep like my Grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. I can't dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone. What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free? Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded fire station? It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now! Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house. I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better! A closed mouth gathers no foot. The trouble with life is there's no background music. If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN. When blondes have more fun do they know it? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Losing a wife can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible. Zero to bitch in 10 seconds I don't discriminate, I hate everyone! Life is like a bowl of cherries, and I'm in the pits! Can't sleep, clown will eat me; Can't sleep, clown will eat me...... Wine me, Dine me, 69 me! Student Driver-Get the hell out of my way! HONK! If Monica Lewinsky blew you! Constipated people don't give a crap. If you drink don't park, accidents cause people. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut. Please tell your pants its not polite to point. If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive a little better. Thank you for pot smoking. To all you virgins thanks for nothing. If at first you don't succeed...blame someone else and seek counseling. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings". If you can read this, I've lost my trailer. It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger. If you're not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass. Barney sucks. Forget Subtlety... F**K YOU! Most of the time I swallow, but for asshole's like you, I spit... If it's tourist season, Then why can't we hunt them. Hire the handicapped, they're fun to watch. A hard on doesn't count as personal growth. I cant remember if I'm the good twin or the bad one. I just want revenge. Is that so bad? I'm smart as a horse and hung like Einstein! I may be fat, but you are ugly and I can lose weight. So many cats.....so few recipes. My other ride is your MOTHER!! WARNING : The wearer of this shirt hits on everyone he/she sees, if I'm not hitting on you there could be only one reason : YOU UGLY. I see stupid people. They are everywhere! They walk around like you and me. They dont even know that they are stupid. |