| Warnings: don't own 'em, abuse of HP characters, "Hints of Slash"... Day 15, Wednesday Eviction Day Dumbledore is the first one out of bed this morning; even Draco isn't awake yet. He makes himself a pot of tea and heads for the sun room. Dumbledore: Morning, Tom. Voldemort: Morning, Albus. Good, you brought me tea. Dumbledore: I wasn't sure if I should bring an extra cup..I thought you had passed away. I haven't seen you for three days. Voldemort: No such luck, I'm afraid. But I am bed-ridden.. sofa-ridden. Dumbledore(fixing tea): You prefer it white? Voldemort: Yes. Dumbledore: Now then... tell me - you haven't moved since.. Saturday? Voldemort: shh... Dumbledore(twinkling eyes): That's very mysterious of you, Tom - I would never have guessed of all the latent strengths a Dark Lord could possess that an unusually retentive bladder- Voldemort: Quiet, Albus! BigBrother: NO USING MAGIC, MR. RIDDLE! --- AT ALL! Voldemort: (scowls) Dumbledore: You'll have to move today. Here, another cup of tea..? Voldemort: I don't think I should drink anymore tea at present.... Dumbledore(chuckles): Well, you certainly missed an amusing game yesterday afternoon. Voldemort: Severus tells me they were doing acrobatics for ice cream. I never thought I'd live to see the day the Malfoys became an itinerant carnival act. Dumbledore: Indeed, but not itinerant enough.. Also, Draco's arm seemed to be perfectly fine for the activity... Voldemort: Of course. He only wears the sling for a fashion statement. Dumbledore: To complement the hair... (they smile and sip at their tea in the ensuing silence.) I don't suppose I can convince you to give up the evil Dark Lord act anytime soon, can I? Voldemort: Actually, I was just wondering whether I might convince you to drop the Benevolent Sage act...? Dumbledore: I see it's going to take more than one pot of tea.. Voldemort: You might throw in some lemon drops for good measure - Dumbledore: If I become very desperate, Tom, I may even resort to ice cream sandwiches.. Voldemort: Oh give it u- Dumbledore: And one more thing... while I'm playing grand high inquisitor - I heard you are requesting that Big Brother take away everyone's voting rights but yours... Voldemort: "heard"? From Severus, I assume? .... is he always so.. talkative? Dumbledore(nonchalantly): I had to pull every word from him with red hot tweezers, Tom... If he had the choice, he'd live in a dark underground cavern and not associate with anyone, I think. (They watch each other with quiet smugness, each one secretly assured that Snape is on his side) Voldemort: Really, Albus - to employ one so skilled in occlumency..? Dumbledore: That has no bearing on teaching potions. Now stop trying to change the subject...You were always good at that. Voldemort: Well....I have made the request.. And if it is granted, I suppose you'll all hear about it anyway... so... here's to hoping for it. (is about to toast with his tea - thinks better of it..) Later at breakfast, Big Brother makes the dreaded announcement. BigBrother: ATTENTION, HOUSEMATES! this is Big Brother! Today is Wednesday, Eviction Day... We like to report a very close race between Mr. Lucius Malfoy and Mr. Ronald Weasley. (They glare across the table at each other) However, in the end, Ronald Weasley received more votes, and so he has an hour to pack and leave! Ron: (open-mouthed) Hermione: Are you sure someone didn't miscount!? BigBrother: We do not appreciate the tone, Miss Granger. That is all! Harry: Aw, come on, Ron - we'll help you pack. (Harry, Ron and Hermione go upstairs.) As they help Ron collect his belongings, Harry and Hermione try to offer some comfort. Hermione: Don't worry, Ron -there's no disgrace in being voted off.. we just have a bad group of viewers. Ron: Aw, don't say that, Hermione. (whispers) they'll vote you off next! Hermione: I don't care what they hear me say. This was FOUL PLAY, I tell you! The Malfoys are probably behind it! Harry: No - Voldemort. Ron(grimaces): I knew I shouldn't have played chess with him.. Harry: I'll avenge you, Ron. Ron: it's all right, you know.. I could have it a lot worse off.. I could be stuck here in a house with all these death eaters! (the other two smirk) Come on, then.. (They see him off with hugs and teary eyes. On the way back in, Harry swears revenge on Voldemort, and Hermione promises to make the Malfoys pay. The rest of the morning passes solemnly.) In the afternoon, activities resume: Lupin and Tonks have moved the tiddlywinks paraphernalia to the living room (since the Malfoy Gestapo has officially declared the kitchen its headquarters). They are now embroiled in some dramatic match. Tonks leans forward with her elbows on table, hands folded at her chin; she observes. Lupin is hunched over glaring intently at the squidger preparing to catapult a blue wink into the pot... Tonks: Things are looking difficult for Miss Tonks - her opponent is lining up his shot, ladies and gents - if he can pot this all the blues will be potted out - Lupin(looks up): Who's the play-by-play commentary for? Tonks(shrugs): Me? Lupin: You've got eyes.. Tonks: Well.... (low-lidded gaze) they're occupied.. Lupin: Now you're just trying to distract me. Won't work. Tonks: Sure... (goes back to announcer mode) He's still deliberating, ladies and gents - that's right, the shot that could make or break the blues is still being lined up! One may even propose that he is stalling for time! (Lupin shoots finally; the wink goes a bit too far and tips off the pot, lands on table) Tonks: Awww - and he overshot that one! A bit too nervous with the shooting hand, I should say! (he glances up, chagrined) hmmm... Not distracted, clearly. Lupin: I should tell- (But just then! Black's voice rings out from the opposite end of the house): REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMUS!!! Lupin: He has the best timing, don't you think? Tonks: He sounds like he's in trouble - You'd better investigate. Lupin: We'll finish this game later. Tonks: Yep In the den, Lupin finds Black on his hands and knees between the sofa and a large piece of wooden furniture: a welsh dresser decorated with various ornamental plates and cups in the top half - but Black is far more interested in the contents of the bottom cabinets. Lupin: What! We don't have a welsh dresser in here! Black: Oh yes, it's been here all along. You've just had your nose in a book the whole time, and haven't noticed it! Lupin: (speechless) Black: But look what's inside!! Look! (produces bottle that looks suspiciously like..) muggle alcohol! Lupin: oh no- Black: The things one finds in this house! If I didn't know better I'd say magic were involved! Lupin: Why'd you call me in? Black: hah - why'd I call him in -- Isn't it obvious? (holds up bottle) go get a glass! - no, TWO glasses! Lupin: All right, all right.... I haven't tried any muggle alcohol yet. Meanwhile, Draco and Lucius split up. Draco stays behind in the kitchen to hold down the fort; Lucius heads to the sun room to visit Voldemort, who, despite his boldest plans, has not gotten up the nerve to actually leave the sofa yet. But to the kitchen, where Draco is trying to set up a muggle trap for possible ice cream thieves. The realization that last night's card game did NOT protect the reserves has led to new levels of caution. And so Draco is standing on tiptoes, trying to position a bucket of ...something on top of the freezer with his free arm. Enter Hermione. Hermione: BOO!! Draco(nervously drops bucket of unidentified liquids on his head): MUDBLOOD! Hermione: HAHAHAH! What are you doing with that?? Trying to put it on the freezer so when we open it it falls on us? Draco(covered in red and green substance): .... Damn... Hermione: And how dare you get Ron voted off!! Draco(sticks head under sink to wash off): I didnt do that! Hermione: And cheating!! Draco(drenched and furious): GO AWAY! Hermione: (curiousity gets better) What IS that?? Looks like... mayonaise? Draco: Various ... things we found in the refrigerator.. spoiled milk, I think too. Hermione: Serves you right - that's the sort of hair products you should be using every day. Draco(now begins rummaging around in cabinets, searching for a towel): Really mudblood you have been spending too much time with that cat of yours, you are turning into it! Hermione: And what about your ARM!? Draco: It hurts! Hermione: Only when it's convenient - YOU PLAYED TWISTER with it yesterday! Draco(triumphant sneer): It was worth re-injuring it just to see the look of horror on Weasel's face as he fell.. Hermione: Don't think this is the end, Malfoy. (stalks out just as Lupin enters from the other door; he cheerfully pulls out two glasses from the cabinet where Draco is trying to dry his hair.) Lupin: Good afternoon, Draco. Draco: The only thing good about it's that Weasley's gone. Lupin: I'm sure it would improve with an ice cream sandwich. (Malfoy grumbles) By the way, you've still got some pickle relish in your hair.. (exit) Draco: Bloody Gryffindors always sticking - (Tonks enters) Tonks: What's going on in here? Draco: What! Tonks(sees Malfoy, laughs): Oh ho- you look like drowned rat! Draco: GO AWAY! Later Voldemort drags himself painfully from the beloved sofa and makes his way to the first floor bathroom. He has found a strange, slightly hunched angle that makes walking less painful, but when he passes the living room, he appears to Snape like a deranged hat stand with a long black cloak on it. Snape does a double take. Voldemort(from hall): Yes, come here, Severus. Snape(puts down book "Hoax Hexing and Other Successful Bluffing Strategies," and joins Voldemort in the hallway): Yes? Voldemort: I saw that look on your face.. getting very complacent these days with old Tom layed up on the sofa, I know. (adds pointedly) So complacent as to go blathering away my plans the moment you're out of my company...? Snape(odd, closed expression): I hope I don't have to justify myself .... Voldemort: You might as well, now that I've roused you from your reading.. Snape: (leans in, barely breathes the words) how else am I to gain his trust? tell him insignificant nothings too early and important facts too late.. Do you think they wouldn't find out about your request anyway? Voldemort: I expected as much... (takes a step back and regards him for a moment) Well... off with you then - I'm trying to get to the bathroom...(hobbles off, grumbling to self) blasted Albus showed up this morning with tea...the knavery.. An hour later in the den: Black teeters from his perch on the den sofa, working on his fourth glass of scotch. Lupin sits next to him watching with his usual reserved smile. Black: And Shheeee was - hah - oh she -- she-- hahahhaah! Lupin: She wasn't half as drunk as you are now. Black: I know, I know - (suddenly falls onto his friend) but YOU aren't drunk, Moony!! This won't do! Have somma this scotch! (pushes his glass at Lupin, accidently splashing him with it.) Lupin: That's all right - I didn't think it'd be in my best interests to get drunk today.. Black: Ohhh yes.. (clears throat as if this will sober him; sits back and nods) Tomorrow's the big day - or night I shoul' say! Lupin: Muggle alcohol seems to be a bit more.. potent than we're used to.. Black: Juusssst a bit, but I'm fine. I'm fine, mind you -- hey, you have to tell me.. Did you want me to go with you? Lupin: What? where? Black(leans over in an attempt to be conspiratorial, falls again): whooopss - (Lupin tries to set him upright; Black just slings an arm about his shoulder) I mean, youre going totha Diary Room, yeah? Lupin: yes, for the transformation... Black: Whaddya say Padfoot come along? Lupin: shh. No, you don't want to draw attention to yourself. Black: Bu' everyone knows anyway- Lupin(whisper): Voldemort hasn't seen you first hand - no reason to give him such a fine opportunity.. I'll be all right! Black: ohhhh well! (righteous offense) If youdon' want me along, tha's ok! I see how 'tis! (tries to disengage himself and then stumbles clumsily into the coffee table) whooa heh- little table'sthere. yeahhh, well. (turns to pronounce his final judgment on Lupin, but takes a moment to steady himself) You'll be fine, i think.. like old times, just. Lupin: (shakes head) You're never going to make it to the room, I see. let me help.. (exuent) |
| Big Brother: Harry Potter Style |