warnings: abuse of HP characters, "Hints of Slash" -- no girls left what now!?!
Day 44, Thursday
Albus Dumbledore puts the kettle on for his morning tea then leaves the kitchen to make the rounds. In the living room, he glances out the window. Something is amiss in the front yard - he draws the curtain aside.. Yes, the top tire on his and Voldemort's lawn art has fallen to the ground. It lies there helplessly.
Dumbledore: Oh, no, this won't do. (goes out front door; it's warm and moist, he frowns) All right... perhaps Tom was right.. it would be more imposing standing up.. (sets tire on top again; stands back to admire like a snobby art collector) Ahm...... to the left a bit... (hand on chin) hmm.... maybe not...
and Meanwhile the tea kettle whistles-
Dumbledore: ...(moves tire over - it topples and falls again) Ah slippery with the morning dew! Now, hold still (picks up tire again)
And whistles-
Dumbledore(standing back again): No.... I see why it toppled in the first place... the entire left side is low.. Artistic, yes. Romantic, yes. Stable? Absolutely not..
And cries for attention- In the sun room, Voldemort rolls over, grumbling, and pulls a pillow over his ears. "Damn tea...."
Dumbledore is trying to adjust the left row of tires - the middle is especially awkward.
Dumbledore: Ah.. perhaps... if I can straighten You... (pulls, tugs - the entire stack collapses on him) AGH! Ah hahah- That wasn't the wisest idea, Albus...
AND wails sharply-- Draco is just coming down the stairs when he hears it..
Draco: What - did someone leave the tea kettle on? (sigh) The things that go wrong when I'm not in the kitchen....(quickens his pace)
Dumbledore: Ah, come now, be a good set of tires and avoid crooked lifestyle choices..(steps back slowly) Steady..... Ah.... good
AND SSCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSS-
Voldemort: ARGH! So much for the mid-morning nap -- ALBUS!!! (throws the pillow off and storms towards the kitchen)
Dumbledore: There now... (sets original lost tire back onto stack, like the cherry on a black sundae. It sits majestically a moment before falling off again) I don't remember this being so difficult when Tom was here.... Hm...
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
Voldemort(storms into kitchen): TURN THAT DAMNED THING OFF!
Draco(coming from other kitchen door): WHO'S MISUSING MY KITCHEN!?!
(They halt in front of the kettle when they notice each other.)
Voldemort: Ah, Draco. (gestures graciously at stove) You may have the honors.
Draco: Long as somone turns it off - bloody thing! (quickly removes kettle from hot burner, flipping open the lid as he does. The wailing stops abruptly. Draco puts a hand to his forehead.) Fine way to start the morning - with a screaming headache...
Voldemort: Well said, child. And where IS Albus? Is this his idea of a grand prank?
(Enter Dumbledore, wiping sweat from his wrinkly forehead)
Dumbledore: Morning! Ah, Draco, I see you've got the tea..
Draco: (rolls eyes) It was quite demanding.
Voldemort: And where were you all this time, Albus?
Dumbledore: Our postmodern lawn art had lost its crowning piece, Tom. It needed fixing..
Voldemort: At the expense of my mid-morning nap, I know!
Dumbledore: (eyes twinkle obnoxiously) So.. where are the other three? Still sleeping in?
Draco: I always wake up Professor Snape.. I (as if suddenly struck) I should MOVE!! Perfect..(quick exit)
Bedroom Number Two:
(Draco sweeps in, climbs up and begins ripping sheets off his bed)
Snape: Draco............
Draco(not looking down): Morning, Professor Snape.
Snape: (notes the falling white) Why are you stripping your bed?
Draco(hops down): I'm moving.
Lupin(lifts head): Hmm?
Black: Wha'timesit?
Draco: 8:27.
Black: Blagh - time to get up.
Draco: Time to move. That way, I won't wake up Professor Snape everytime I get out of bed.
Black: And what about the rest of us?
Draco(conversationally): Oh, I couldn't care less.
Lupin: Then you won't mind if we start an inter-bedroom prank war?
Snape: That was surprisingly coherent for you at this hour, Lupin.
Lupin: Thank you, Severus
Draco: (now rummaging through drawer) I think that would be unfair. (suddenly smiles, teeth flashing) However, a Gryffindor-Slytherin prank war might be proper...
Black: We're up for that, eh, Remus??
Lupin(doubtful): ahh...
Snape: Then it will be you and the Dark Lord, Draco... I think some of us have outgrown childish prank wars.
Lupin: Although.... although you DID - you did put that cheese--
Snape(waves hand irritably): Temporary weakness of will... It was too good to pass up.
Draco: See? You could teach these two a lesson..
Snape: ... No.
Black(grinning): He knows better....
Snape(glares at Black):.... But you don't.
Black: Scared? Sni--
Lupin: --Don't start. We're all coll-- collected.. and cool adults now.
Black(turns, still grinning, to Draco): Well, Draco - looks like it's just you and me!
Draco(trying not to appear unnerved): Ah... well.. I'll give it some thought. (grabs sheets and pillows off floor, exits)
Black: Ah hahahah
After lunch - with a carefully monitored tea kettle, Albus Dumbledore wends his complacent way to the Diary Room. He enters and sits casually in the chair.
Dumbledore: Good afternoon, audience. Well..... I came actually to discuss - to lecture perhaps? - on a subject of some importance.. (pauses thoughtfully) I suppose you've been taken in by the dry wit, the irreverent pranks, the ..(raises amused eyebrow) bald good looks? Perhaps - yes, Tom can be quite the attractive powerful villain when we wants to be, but I'm afraid the situation is becoming more serious now, and this innocent flirtation must end before anyone is drawn in and hurt. (folds hands) With only three ..... four of us left, Tom will be trying to exert his will more and more forcefully. I fear... if no action is taken by the audience, we will come to .. some sort of confrontation. (trails off, waiting - suddenly looks up) Unless, of course... that is your intention...(stands slowly) It's your decision.... (sweeps out majestically)
Back at the kitchen table:
Draco: Any sixes?
Voldemort: .... you can see through these cards. (inspects the cards)
Draco: They're not magical. Wouldn't Big Brother have yelled at me if they were?
Voldemort: Lots of magic can be done without Big Brother's notice, as I am sure you are aware...
Draco: Well, not concerning cards.
Voldemort(hands over his six): You don't really like that hair style, do you?
Draco(off-handed): Yes.
Voldemort: .... But you are going to tell me where the ice cream is?
Draco(looks up, honestly): Of course. I told you before that we could share it... but you insisted on hoarding it away like some ... some starving squirrel.
Voldemort(pause): ..Speaking of squirrels - are they still-?
Draco(shrugs): I think there are a few in my room..
Voldemort: Sic Severus on them..
Draco: You have a cat for that.
Voldemort: Oh yes.. although I think Bertrum has become complacent lately.. One of them stalked right up to her yesterday and she didn't bat an eye... Cats...(shakes head) If only Nagini were here...