Once they had reached the door to Snape's office, Harry, Ron and Hermione stopped.
"Well - time for an ill-conceived plan," Harry announced, out of breath from running.
"I don't think we should all have to go in," said Ron, trying not to look nervous.
"I'll go, it's my notebook we're after," said Hermione, and she reached for the door.
"No, no - I'm the reluctant hero. If anyone has to have a heart-to-heart with Snape, it's me," sighed Harry and he looked down the hallway in noble, self-sacrificial determination.
Hermione regarded him skeptically. "Who said anything about heart-to-hearts? We're just going to ask for my notebook back!"
"But-" Harry protested. "It's Snape - you can't just have two lines of dialogue with him. Every encounter is a confrontation! A battle of will with personal honour at stake!"
"You could get killed in there!" added Ron, wide-eyed.
"Ok," Hermione sighed, "I guess you had better go in then, Harry. Now would be a fine time for him not to be in his office."
Harry steadied himself and knocked on the door.
"COME IN!" It was the unmistakable bellow of Professor Snape. Harry drew in a deep breath and opened the door.
He was struck immediately by the piercing bright reflection off the grease from Snape's hair. All the remaining office space was darkness and gloom. Shelves came into focus; they were covered with bottles of strange liquids and suspended animal parts. Only after another few moments could Harry make out the incongruously cheerful strains of a Schubert piano trio in the background. He screwed up his face in confusion.
"Mr. Potter," sneered Snape from behind his desk. "This is a surprise. I suppose you were trying to catch me in the hot embrace of a fellow teacher… or student?" he asked pointedly.
"Uh.. No, sir." Harry felt his cheeks go pink.
"Worse still," Snape went on ironically, encouraged by the open-mouthed student, "you have discovered my penchant for chamber music." He waved his wand casually and the music stopped.
Harry was indeed surprised.
"What then - you can't possibly want help with potions two days before the test."
"No!" Harry realized that might have sounded a bit hostile; Snape raised a greasy eyebrow challengingly. "Sir - I mean, this is about potions class. Hermione has lost her notebook."
"Clearly she is too embarrassed to come to me about it herself."
"Well she's studying - for.. another class," Harry stumbled.
Snape turned his head slightly, as if looking about the room would give him another idea for an insult; his long, greasy hair turned with him, and Harry blinked as the reflected light shot at his eyes. "Luckily she has friends fool enough to go running errands for her, I…" Harry didn't pick up the rest of this dialogue, as he was too morbidly interested in the amount of light shining off Snape's head. Was there that much light actually in the room? Really, Snape's hair was exceedingly greasy tonight.
"Is my hair so fascinating, Mr. Potter - did you want shampoo secrets from the potions master, is that it?" Snape glared at him.
"No, sir. Not at all! - We were just wondering if you had found it - the notebook - after class…?"
Snape sighed in exasperation. "I remember seeing no such notebook, although I can't promise I didn't throw it out as I was cleaning up the mess of that fool Longbottom's disaster - or rather, that it was destroyed during the disaster.." He shook his head at the thought. Harry carefully avoided looking at his hair.
"Well, uh - thank you, Sir.. I'll just be on my way then," said Harry, going for the door.
Snape glared after him like a snake about to strike, but he said nothing more.
"You're alive!" said Ron when Harry joined them in the hall.
"Yes, actually," said Harry, a bit surprised himself. When they were out of range of the office he added, "Did you know how greasy Snape's hair is?? I mean, really!"
"Of course, that's his defining characteristic," announced Hermione matter-of-factly.
"Nah, that's his sneer," said Ron.
"And here I was all along thinking it was the silky, dangerous voice," said Harry bemusedly.
"No, it's the hair," corrected Hermione.
"The sneer," said Ron.
"Hair."
Harry sighed. "Stop arguing, you two. It doesn't matter; he didn't have your notebook!"
"Well excuse us," said Ron frowning.
"But this has been fruitless, can't you see?" said Harry, "What good have all our investigations been? This is probably some scheme set to lead us astray - don't look at me like that! " He was suddenly furious, but he couldn't even have said why himself. "How come you two are always tagging along and can never understand me!? why don't you just -- just go away and leave me alone!!" he cried, fuming with rage.
"But Harry, you're having a moment of--" Ron stopped, suddenly pale.
"Book Five," finished Hermione with a smirk.
"Oh." Harry frowned. Ron scratched his head and seemed to become very interested in the stones in the wall.
"Come on," said Hermione, "I bet it's Malfoy after all."
"Where are we going then?" asked Ron as they followed Hermione down yet another dark corridor.
"Slytherin common room."
"But-"
"I know, Harry - and it's time for the obvious solution!"