MARRIED. POOR GIRL...
GOVERNMENT NEWS SHILL
QUEBEC CITY, QC
"How do you know about the machine?"
Shawn, or "Sparky" as his friends call him, lives in Quebec City, and has yet to separate from the rest of us. He spends your hard-earned tax dollars at CBC news, the all news station, not the crappy one with opera. After holding a bake sale, Sparky and wife Heather will be joining us from the "nation's capital."
Shawn has been kicked out or banned from numerous business establishments, usually with a little help from Andre. Because of their antics at Ponderosa's "All you can Eat" Sundae bar, the management had to put up a sign. He's very proud of that. Hey, they said "ALL" you can eat. They didn't specify how many "you" entails. And he and Andre can eat a lot.
Not much is known about Shawn's past. No one really cared enough to ask. Truth be told, we're all a little too frightened to ask. Sparky is a founding member of the Survivor Weekend tradition. He spent much of that original Survivor 2000 weekend relaxing in the Den that Roger built on the beach. From his "Big Screen Nature TV", he saw the Nature channel, The Nashville Network and Baywatch, all without a remote. Sparky's take on the Den: "Hey Andre, your dad makes Rudy look like a big fat wuss."
In fact, Shawn's Survivor Weekend antics pre-date the modern Survivor Weekend ritual. Long ago, when there was still a cottage meters away from today's NBSurvivor site, Shawn and Andre joined another idiot on the beach. They thought it was a good idea to park a Firefly on the beach and use the stereo to listen to tunes, until the tide started to rise and the car almost became an amphibious vehicle. They stayed up all night, melted glass in the fire, and fulfilled a First Nations prophecy by watching the sun rise in the West. Good times, good times.
Shawn is now married, probably through the use of some kind of hypnosis. His birth date is Jan. 18, 1974. He is rumoured to have family in the province of NB, but the other Survivor members feel he was separated at birth from Gervase, everyone's favourite slacker.
Obviously, then, Shawn is most like the real Survivor, Gervase.