HEATHER "DON'T CALL ME HEIDI" LYONS
MARRIED AND CONFUSED
SHE'S A WITCH! BURN HER!
QUEBEC CITY, QC
"Um, can somebody bring me a towel?"
A CELL PHONE NAMED LOLITA
Although a relative newcomer to the Survivor family, Heather has been welcomed with open arms because of her friendly nature, her sense of humour and her willingness to drink copious amounts of Mike's Hard Lemonade and swim naked (not at the same time). Also, as a practicing wiccan, we're afraid she'll hex us if we don't say nice things about her.
Three years ago, she was the first Survivor to lose her suit to the sea. It was the last day of Survivor Weekend and, as she had all weekend, she went for a swim. And, as we all do, she laughed at the thought of swimming with a suit on. Well, the ocean had the last laugh and took her suit bottoms from her. So if you find a pair of black bathing suit bottoms this trip, they may very well belong to Heather. Put them in the Lost and Found, along with Cynthia's glasses and Andre's soul. Also, Heather left early her first year there and left her straw hat behind. This started an NBSurvivor tradtion. At or around midnight, we will burn a witches' hat or a witch, usually purchased from the nearest Dollarstore. this usually wards off evil spirits while we imbibe ourselves with other spirits. Good times, good times.
Heather was born in Montreal, Quebec where she has spent most of her life with the exception of a brief period when she moved to Manitoba and Alberta. She is feeling much better now. She now lives in Quebec City ("The Nation's Capital") with her husband Sparky. At least, we think she does. We haven't heard from them in so long, much of this crap will have to be confirmed when they arrive at NBSurvivor 2006.
Currently, Heather is working on improving her life through the use of zen to block out her husband's constant witisisms and song parodies. (The chanting of the phrase "Just tell yourself you love him very much" seems to work best). As they will be joining us this year, wait until she takes her hat off to burn it.