| Chapter Five |
| "...But baby here I am, banging on your front door, my pride spilled on the floor..." It had been two weeks, I hadn't heard form Shaye, I was desperate for an answer, any answer! I went to her house, and banged on her door, screw my pride, I needed her in the worse way possible. Finally, she answered the door, a kid on her hip, "What the hell are you doing here?" She asked, I didn't answer, I was to busy starring at the curly haired blonde, blue-eyed child she held, MY daughter. "I need to talk to," I said, never taking my gaze off the child. "C'men, I was just feeding the kids," I walked in and closed the door behind me. "Shaye, can you please listen to me?" "Here Honey, eat your lunch," She said to the child she was just holding. "Benjamin, here," She sat the plates on the table in front of the children. "Oh my gosh Shaye, she's beautiful," "She looks just like you," "Shaye, I wanna be in her life, I wanna be in your life, why haven't you answered me?" "You wanna know what my problem is?" "YES!" "I'm scared shitless," "Of what?" "Of you, me, us," "Why?" "Because," "Tell me," Her eyes welled up with tears, "Because, I'M STILL DESPRETLY IN LOVE WITH YOU! OKAY!" "Why didn't you just tell me that?" "Because I hate you!" "I don't understand?" "I love you, okay, because you're the father of my child, but I have such a deep hatred for you, for leaving me, and not understanding why I wouldn't go with you," "C'mer, come sit down, talk to me," I said, pulling her at the table, where the two children sat. "J., I wanna love and I want you so bad, but I'm barley tolerating you," "Okay, I understand why you are upset, okay, but I never understood why you wouldn't go with me?" "Because," "Why," "BECAUSE!" "Tell me why, or I'm not leaving," "I want you to love me, but I can't love you," "Why?" "Because my Dad despises it," "That's what this is about? Your father," "Yes," "He's dead Shaye!" "Who told you he was dead?!" "My Daddy did," "My Dad was my best friend, okay, he took care of me, he loved me," "What does that have to do with anything?" "No, he LOVED me," "You mean-" "Yes," "But, that's disgusting?" "I know, that day, when he took you out to his workshop, he was threatening you, because he was jealous," "This is insane! He's your father," "Not my real father," "Huh?!" "He was my step-dad, okay, my real father is in jail somewhere," "Oh Shaye, I'm so sorry," I grabbed her and held her close to me, she sobbed into my chest, "I love you so much J., I just can't have you," "Yes you can, and I'll prove it to you..." |