[ The World's Changing | Survival | Angel's Flight ]
[ Risque Business | Road Trip | Extreme ]
[ Wild Child | Rules of Engagement | Till Death Do Us Part ]
[ Spin Doctor | Cold Dick | Lifeline ]
[ Ghosts From The Past | Agent of Year Zero | Junk ]
[ School Daze | Meltdown | Cornman A Coming ]
[ The Inner Sense ]

The World's Changing

"It's good to be back in the bosom of The Centre. God bless you all. Now let's go catch Jarod. Amen" -- Raines (while hugging Broots)

"I get my strength back I swear I'm going postal" -- Miss Parker to Sydney and Broots

"I know where you live Mr Broots" -- Jarod to Broots

"My work here is my life. I've spent years here donig the work of the Lord" -- Mr Raines to Priest

"Miss Parker's going to want to off herself when she hears this one" -- Broots to Sydney
"Anybody spare a noose" -- Miss Parker to Broots
"Miss Parker!" -- Broots to Miss Parker
"Is your nose whistling?" -- Miss Parker to Broots
"I have a deviated septum" -- Broots to Miss Parker
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Survival

"Mm mm. Barbequed grasshoppers. Bon Appetit" -- Mr Lyle to Miss Parker

"Oh in a case anybody's interested there's a tube of Ambasol in there somewhere. Searching for it will keep you warm." -- Jarod to Mr Lyle and Miss Parker
"No matches for fire would keep me warm" -- Mr Lyle to tv screen
"Shut up and find the Ambasol" -- Miss Parker to Mr Lyle

"Oh Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do. I saw that on a rerun" -- Jarod to Leiutenant Kimbrill

"Broots!? Broots you lovable moron is that you!?" -- Miss Parker to Broots
"Yeah...I guess" -- Broots to Miss Parker
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Angel's Flight

"Are you some kind of nut?" -- Icecream vendor to Jarod
"No, I just like icecream" -- Jarod to Icecream vendor

"Any sign of Jarod?" -- Sydney to Broots
"It's like he vanished into a black hole" -- Broots to Sydney
"Kinda like your personal life?" -- Miss Parker to Broots

"You grew up in a trailer park didn't you?" -- Miss Parker to Broots
"No I did not... It was a mobile home" --Broots to Miss Parker

"Broots" -- Miss Parker to Broots
"Yes, ma'am" -- Broots to Miss Parker
"Don't wear that shirt. It makes me nauseous" -- Miss Parker to Broots

"Mr Cox" -- Mr Lyle calling Mr Cox
"Cox?" -- Miss Parker to Mr Cox
"It's with an 'X'" -- Mr Cox to Miss Parker
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Risque Business

"Broots, no woman worth herself want's to be with a guy who spills his feelings all over the floor. You like this chick, either make a move or move on." -- Miss Parker to Broots { submitted by renegade girl }

"Broots. Think of your worst nightmare" -- Miss Parker to Broots, holding his chin up with a whip. {submitted by renegade girl }

"It's you and me cowboy, saddle up" -- Miss Parker to Broots {submitted by renegade girl }

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Road Trip

"Actually Miss Parker I don't think we're in Kansas anymore" -- Broots to Miss Parker

"Either of you munchkins break into song, I'll drop a house on you" -- Miss Parker to Sydney and Broots

"If she's Dorothy that makes us what, the lion and the tinman?" -- Broots to Sydney
"You're Toto at best, Broots" -- Miss Parker to Broots

"I think it's perfect" -- Jarod to Zoe referring to the lemonade
"Jarod. You scare me" -- Zoe to Jarod

"You're saying this is your doll?" -- Sydney to Broots
"It couldn't be.... Could it?" -- Broots to Sydney and Miss Parker
"We have entered the Jarod Zone" -- Miss Parker to Broots

"Would you be willing to pretend for me again?" -- Zoe to Jarod

"I vote we go back to the munchkin and shoot our way out of this madhouse" -- Miss Parker to Sydney and Broots

"The wicked witch of the west. Hey doesn't it.... kind of.. look a.... little like...." -- Broots to Miss Parker
"I'll take that as a compliment" -- Miss Parker to Broots

"Broots call the airstrip. Tell them to get my broomstick fired up. We're going back to Kansas" -- Miss Parker to Broots

"You've never skinny dipped before have you" -- Zoe to Jarod
"Is.. is that what they call it?" -- Jarod to Zoe
"Yeah. Jump in and I'll show you why" -- Zoe to Jarod
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Extreme

"What are we talking about here Syd? Jarod Kneival jumping Buicks at Caesars?" -- Miss Parker to Sydney

"You ok?" -- Jarod to Shea/Carrie
"No problem, I always wanted to be a hood ornament" -- Shea/Carrie to Jarod

"I, for one, replenish my soul by going back to nature" -- Mr Lyle to Miss Parker
"Ohh.." -- Miss Parker to Mr Lyle
"What? Surprised to find I like to camp?" -- Mr Lyle to Miss Parker
"No, surprised to find you have a soul" -- Miss Parker to Mr Lyle

"This is no stress disorder Syd. It's Chernobyl of the brain" -- Miss Parker to Sydney referring to Jarod's gameshow video

"You're, uh, unattached aren't you..." -- Mr Dodson to Miss Parker
"As unattached as your limbs are going to be if you keep eyeballing me like that" -- Miss Parker to Mr Dodson

"Find anything at the Cabin's O' Love?" -- Broots to Miss Parker
"Yeah. How to ruin a pair of Gucci's with red clay" -- Miss Parker to Broots
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Wild Child

"Tell me he didn't just scoop that warm banquet into the truck" -- Miss Parker to Broots referring to Mr Cox shoveling up roadkill
"Ewwwww" -- Broots to Miss Parker

"We used to have long talks about life while he was embalming the corpses" -- Mr Cox to Miss Parker referring to his father
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Rules Of Engagement

"Don't you have a bake sale to organise?" -- Miss Parker to Mr Raines

"I'm everyone. I'm no-one" -- Jarod to Dr Franklin
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Till Death Do Us Part

"Your gun won't work. I took the firing pin out last night" -- Jarod to Miss Parker
"I sleep with this under my pillow" -- Miss Parker to Jarod
"And you drool out of the left corner of your mouth" -- Jarod to Miss Parker

"Mutumbo's dead. As in ding dong the wicked witch is" -- Lyle to Miss Parker

"It's funny. These dryers bring back fond memories of father's mortuary" -- Mr Cox to Broots

"So Broots. What did you tell Cox?" -- Miss Parker to Broots
"I screamed and told him that my hand was frying" -- Broots to Miss Parker
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Spin Doctor

"Just Jarod huh. How 'bout them apples" -- Todd Baxter to Jarod
"Apples?" -- Jarod to Todd Baxter

"I'm going to make a difference. Does that sound hokey?" -- Todd to Jarod
"Hokey? Is that a sporting event?" -- Jarod to Todd

"Have an icecream cone on me" -- Todd to Jarod
"Ice cream?" Jarod to Todd
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Cold Dick

"Go to your room" -- Miss Parker to Broots.

"They say luck is a lady. That must be good luck. Bad luck is definately a man. And he dresses funny" -- Jarod Voiceover.

"What's your bosses name?" -- Argyle to Mona
"Dirty Willie" -- Mona to Argyle
"He doesn't bathe?" -- Argyle to Mona
"No people just call him that." -- Mona to Argyle

"I'm not a detective and you're not my partner. If I'm going to help you, you stay out of my way" -- Jarod to Argyle
"That was extremely hostile" -- Argyle to Jarod

"I remember I was watching out for Jarod and then you looked at me with bedroom eyes like you wanted to do the latenight creep" -- Broots to Miss Parker
"I Did Not!" -- Miss Parker to Broots

"You so much as hint at this when they arrive, I will amputate your head" -- Miss Parker to Broots

"I don't want no scrubs" -- Miss Parker to Broots

"I've got your back J - man!" -- Argyle to Jarod
"Oh that's very comforting" -- Jarod to Argyle

"My clip is empty" -- Miss Parker to Broots

"We want Mona back" -- Argyle to Calzone
"Who are you? Little Dick??" -- Calzone to Argyle

"We're staying" -- Broots to Mr Lyle
"Did he just ignore us?" -- Mr Lyle to Mr Raines

"We're a team aren't we? Doctor Funkenstein" -- Miss Parker to Broots
"Well that all depends on one thing baby. Am I your Puff Daddy?" -- Broots to Miss Parker
"Oh yeah baby. And I wanna get funked up" -- Miss Parker to Broots
"Ohhhh, I have to watch?" -- Jarod to Miss Parker and Broots
"You get to watch" -- Miss Parker to Jarod

"Bald men have always driven me crazy and it takes more than one to really satisfy me. Mr Wiggles! Get in here" -- Miss Parker to Broots and Raines

"I want's to get funked up" -- Mr Raines (in a fetching little animal print number) to Broots

"By the way. What exactly is a 'Puff Daddy'?" -- Miss Parker to Broots
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Lifeline

"I am sorry. Pardon me.... you're naked" -- Jarod to meditating woman
"You're not" -- meditating woman to Jarod

"That's my boy. God's greatest miracle. Googoo googoo" -- Mr Raines to Baby Parker

"The good book says 'Turn the other cheek'" -- Mr Raines to Miss Parker
"I also remember something about eye for an eye" -- Miss Parker to Mr Raines

"God Bless you all. Willie our work here is done" -- Mr Raines

"He was my date for the spring formal. Tried to get to third base in the front seat of his father's ferrari... I broke his finger" -- Miss Parker to Broots referring to Giuseppe.

"You're so full of anger" -- Father Giuseppe to Miss Parker
"That's my religion" -- Miss Parker to Father Giuseppe

"Strike me down now Lord" -- Miss Parker

"Karma. Ain't it a bitch?" -- Jarod to Pritchard
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Ghosts From The Past

"I'm certainly not surprised someone from Jarod's past want's to kill him. In fact it's a hell of a long line. And it starts behind me" -- Miss Parker to Sydney

"Jarod sure does know how to pick his enemies doesn't he?" -- Broots to Miss Parker
"Yes he has a penchant for pissing people off" -- Miss Parker to Broots

"I wasn't going to scare them. I was going to kill them" -- Bartlett to Jarod

"You start speaking in tongues and I'll send you on to the next life right here and now" -- Miss Parker to Broots
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Agent of Year Zero

"Lyle.. what is with this guy!?" -- Broots
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Junk

"How does it feel to be the mayor of loserville?" -- Miss Parker to Broots
"I..I..I read that for entertainment" -- Broots to Miss Parker

"Jarod. Why don't you tell the group what brought you here" -- Dr Earl to Jarod
"A large cop with bad breath" -- Jarod to Dr Earl

"Arnold is deader than your hair follicles" -- Miss Parker to Mr Raines

"We released two lame albums, next thing you know we're warming up high school gyms for Air Supply" -- Junkie to Jarod
"They were having trouble with their ventilation system?" -- Jarod to Junkie
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School Daze

"Jarod. Tormenting hours are from 9 to 5. Call back tomorrow" -- Miss Parker to Jarod

"Boys. They'd lose their heads if they weren't attached" -- Mrs Warner to Jarod
"Well, technically laquer cranial attachment would nullify all other motor skills, therefore the notion.... uh, if it helps I believe it was sticker number 48" -- Jarod to Mrs Warner

"How is Edna" -- Sydney to Miss Parker, referring to Mrs Raines
"As vacant as the Bates Motel" -- Miss Parker to Sydney

"She probably hates me" -- Eric to Jarod
"Nah. You got that dashing spy thing going on, girls love that" -- Jarod to Eric

"Isn't it past Bonzo's bedtime?" -- Mr Lyle to Sydney, referring to Angelo
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Meltdown

"Broots! You been downloading porn again? My e-mail server is whacked!" -- Miss Parker to Broots
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Corn Man A Coming

"Now let me get this straight. You buy personal items for a small amount of money, you sell them to perfect stranger for.. a lot more money?" -- Jarod to Toni
"Is America a great country or what?" -- Toni to Jarod

"What's a home movie?" -- Jarod to Toni
"Did you grow up in a basement or something?" -- Toni to Jarod
"Or Something" -- Jarod to Toni
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The Inner Sense

"Ok. Now I know you're sloshed" -- Mr Lyle to Miss Parker

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[ Season 4 | The Pretender 2001 ]