Voodoo Dave


Greetings and salty taters...

I don't know if it was your intention, but you've just stumbled upon my home page. Regardless, consider this your lucky day, for it's been scientifically proven that the cosmic power unleashed in every awe-inspiring word I write can cause toilets to flush simultaneously all over the world. Better still, lucky individuals who have received my glorious cyber epistles (and the priceless treasures within), have been known to either stick barbecue forks in their skulls, or jam red hot pokers up their nose. So what more can I possibly say? Enjoy!!!

Help! Help! Richard Simmons thinks I'm a gerbil!

As my honored guest, feel free to peruse these salient pages which display a little bit of insight, an enormous degree of tomfoolery, and my remarkable ability to plunge into the bottomless abyss of philosophical intrigue, revealing in my most infinite wisdom...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Look into my eyes!
I Want to Eat You!

THE TABLE OF ENTRAILS: What's on the menu?

Who IS Weird Dave?

Find out more than you'll ever want to know.

Weird Dave's Books and CD's

Find the latest books and CD's at my online store

Broken Water Weenies

Some silly stuff that must be seen to be de-appreciated. Offered today in convenient industrial strength dosages.

Loquacious Banter of Discarnate Beings

In otherwords, "Dead People." Explore the spiritual teachings of Michael, Seth, and Orin.

Dave's Haunted Sock Drawer

Dark fiction for the 90's. Stories, reviews, and much more.

Cyber Sax Online 

Need a blow job? Then you've come to the right place. This is an online tutorial on playing the saxophone.
The Passing Winds Here's an exploration into chamber music for woodwinds.

Some Serious Brown Piles

Animal rights, environmental issues, and etc...

Personality Test

Take the test and discover who you really are.

Well, it seems that highly informative letters that document the embarrassing quirks and idiosyncrasies we sometimes display have become the growing trend, so here is my entry for your perusal. Be forewarned! The life of a musician is about as exciting as a fat lapdog after dinner, so don't be surprised if the most interesting point about myself is my point of departure. Muhahahaha......

Go to THINGS about Dave


Bite my weenie!


Loquacious Banter of Discarnate Beings

Skinny Smoke Tonight Tales that tell of communicating with nonworldly beings are as old as humanity itself. The technique of channeling, as it is commonly known, has a rich history of intrigue that can be traced from the oracles of the ancient Greeks to more modern-day personalities like Jane Roberts and the work she did with the discarnate being, Seth.

So why, you may ask, should we have conversations with dead people? I have an even better question: why do they wish to converse with us? You'd think that after they'd been fossilized into the dusty annals of history, or worse yet, entombed under six feet of sod, these discarnates would have more important things on their minds (like desperately trying to claw their way out of their coffins.)

Baffled by yarn...All kidding aside, the teachings of spiritual entities such as Seth, Michael, and Orin, have awakened many people to a greater understanding of themselves and the true nature of reality. And believe me, folks, that's more fun than licking moldy cottage cheese off the flabby thighs of geriatric women with problem flatulence ANYDAY of the week. ;-p

So as you sit in a dormant-like stupor, sobriety-deprived, suffering from bottle fatigue, and contemplating what life is truly all about, why not dispense with tradition, and peruse through the contents of the following menu. Hey, it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. ;-p


E=McDonalds "Are you disappointed when you turn up the brightness control on your TV and your intelligence level remains the same? Just curious...;-p

WATCH FOR A NEW QUESTION NEXT WEEK. If you have your own query to submit, send me E-mail. :-)


Top 10 Indications That Your Girlfriend Is Less Than Desirable...

10. She bites the heads off of live chickens.
9. At a party, she's on more laps than a napkin.
8. She feeds you Dolly Madison Death muffins for breakfast.
7. She takes you to the police station to show you her family photos.
6. She puts a cactus in place of your alarm clock.
5. She likes to whittle in bed.
4. She volunteers to clip your hair with a chainsaw.
3. She has a skull and crossbones tatooed to her forehead.
2. Your parents came over for dinner and all she talked about was eating human flesh in the Andes mountains.
1. Two words: Anal retentive.

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Oh, joy.  Oh, rapture.

Thanks for visiting my friendly little cyber haven. You are always welcome here. If you have any comments, suggestions, or typical garden variety verbal abuse to impart, contact me at the e-mail address below.
Have a wonderful day!